Let me point out first that I'm not a Christian, I am agnostic, and I have a really cute one-year-old daughter. Sorry, just had to brag.
My boyfriend of 6 months is a very strong Atheist. We've been friends for 2 years and we started dating this year but I haven't told my family yet because they're strong conservative Christians. My father considers my boyfriend his friend (they used to work together) but once I tell them I know they aren't going to be happy.
I'm very much in love with this man and I don't plan on giving him up. I love him for who he is and I don't want him to change or feel pressured to change by my family. I want them all to get along but I'm not sure how to go about this. Can anyone give me advice?
2007-06-19 06:26:07 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
To answer a question, no, Mr. Atheist isn't the father of my baby. ;)
2007-06-19 06:33:58 · update #1
And I am an adult, I live on my own, my parents don't make my decisions for me. I just need advice because I want them to be able to get along and I'm not sure how to tell them about him!
2007-06-19 06:37:50 · update #2
To Alexd: I find your comment very offensive. Lying in a road, dying? Brainwashed by a Anti-Christ boyfriend? I am not brainwashed, I made my own beliefs without influence from anyone else, and he is an ATHEIST, meaning doesn't believe in any sort of God anywhere. He doesn't have it out for Christianity. He just wants to be left alone.
My daughter will grow up to be a beautiful young women who can make up her own mind about what she wants to believe. If she wants to be a Christian, an Atheist, a Buddhist or a Wiccan, it's her decision and I will love her all the same. Your faith doesn't determine the quality of your life.
2007-06-19 06:43:37 · update #3
sounds like trouble,,,,,,,God Bless
LH
2007-06-19 06:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetness 5 · 0⤊ 8⤋
"Even if we don't continue to date, I think I may have damaged" You didn't do anything. Just because you believe in something that he doesn't does NOT mean that you've done anything to damage the relationship. Nor does it mean that he's done something. You two are just COMPLETE opposites and it shows. Being with someone who is opposite of you is going to have it's hard times, there's just no getting around it. He said he has no problem with you believing, so there shouldn't be any awkwardness between you two. It doesn't matter what the two of you believe in anyways...just as long as both of you believe you belong together. If you feel that you should be with someone who is a Christian as well, then maybe you should look into that. Good thing is that you have plenty of time to find someone that's just right for you. :)
2016-04-01 05:42:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they are very conservative and you a single mom, they are probably happy if you marry about anybody and probably greet him as your salvation on the day you do. Sorry, it's not my view, but I know it's the view of most conservative christians, children without a male role model (though heaven prevent 2 male role models in one family) around is just not in.
By now they must have figured out that you don't exactly treat the straight and narrow christian path and they still talk to you, so I don't think they can be that intolerant. Especially if he is friendly with your father, your father already proved that he doesn't care he is an atheist, so I really don't know where the problem should be.
2007-06-19 06:35:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your family will eventually understand. I was in a similar situation. I'm a Christian and my family are too, but they're a whole lot more conservative. When I first started dating an atheist, he wasn't allowed in the house. He was respectful of what they believed and kept his distance, and once my mom realized I was serious about the relationship, she invited him over to dinner. It was the most awkward situation ever, she was like Katherine Hepburn in "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner." (Anyone?) Two years later and he celebrated Christmas morning with us like one of the family, my mom loved him like a third son.
The point is, they're going to be frigid about it. Keep at it. Don't hide your relationship, be open and honest about how you feel for him and explain to them why you feel that way. It took a long time for my mom to see him not just as "that atheist kid Rachel seems to like" but instead "a really good person who is more than worthy of dating my daughter." They'll come around.
2007-06-19 06:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
As long as you respect each other and don't force your beliefs on each other, I think you should do OK. The fact that your not a Christian is something between you and God and your parents not anyone on this site. I would have a nice diner and tell your parents about him. If your dad knows him then he will know that he would not be open to this kind of conversation (hopefully) and will not be pushy(hopefully). Best of luck to you.
2007-06-22 12:13:43 · answer #5 · answered by Julia B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your the one who loves him and wants to be with him. You don't have the same beliefs as your parents, they still love you.
You said you dad likes him, I really don't think that will all the sudden change. Just bring him over, you don't necessarily have to get into some big religion thing with your parents, that probably is not what you spend your time talking about anyway.
2007-06-19 06:34:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Since your dad has a history with the guy it will be easier for him to adjust to the idea of you two together. Is he the father of the child? If so another reason for the parents to adjust. I just have a feeling it will all work out for everyone. Good luck.
Just play it by ear...
2007-06-19 06:32:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just do your best to live your life and be happy :) You know your parents.. if they love him, would they reject him if they found out he's an atheist? Do they know you are agnostic? If they can accept you, why not him? Perhaps if they know how much you love him, and they can see that he is a good person and treats you well, they will be understanding.
I would try not to worry about it too much. This is your life, not your parents'.
2007-06-19 06:32:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
As long as you guys don't discuss religion on a regular basis, you should be fine.
I mean, even though this forum isn't exactly the best example for atheist-christian harmony, we don't go around calling each other names in reality.
Not all my friends are atheists ( actually most are religious) and we' re good.
2007-06-19 06:32:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should do whatever makes you happy. the truth is that at the end of the day you are the only one that has to be with him.
your parents want what they think is best for you, according to their beliefs and experience. obviously, is up to you if you want to follow their advice or not.
i don't think it should be such a major problem as you aren't a christian either... why would they make your boyfriend change his beliefs?
if you can accept him the way he is and you don't think it compromises your beliefs and its not a problem for you, then go for it.
talk to your parents and tell them how you feel, i think that even though they don't agree with it they should accept him.
2007-06-19 06:35:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not your parents decision as far as who you should date/marry. If they don't have enough respect for you to think you can make a good decision, that is their problem.
To disown someone over something as trivial as religious beliefs begets its own brand of idiocy anyway. If your dad causes you grief over your boyfriends lack of faith when before he viewed him as a friend before he knew, then your dad is an idiot
2007-06-19 06:33:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋