I am BAD at breakups, and tend to hang on a long time. I just need some "out side" opinions-
I am 34 and my boyfriend of over a year is 23.....I have one child and he does not have any kids.
He likes to YELL at me- we fight almost everyday, and instead of us talking, he yells, it is humiliating. He does not care who is around- my friends, his parents, it does not matter, and he yells loud. Alcohol is an issue!
Also, recently he had an "issue" with his bank account, and he was unable to help me financially with the rent (we live together). Then he lost his job-great news~
Well, I am fine with all that, it sucks, but I have been trying to make it work. He has not even looked for a job, its been 2 weeks-and he lied to me and told me he WENT to a place to apply, and he did not, he applied online,why? I don't understand. He never told me what happened with his account, only that it was negative alot-how does that happen?we have a trip planned, and now I feel uncomforatable going. Help..
2007-06-19 06:25:22 · 11 answers · asked by Tracy L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
what's so hard about knowing you need to dump him ... yesterday?
2007-06-19 06:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by dog lover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't hang onto this. It's just going to get worse. If you can manage financially on your own, do so. This man is too young and immature to be trusted to help provide for you and a child.
When it comes to breakups, I'm just as bad at it as you. I don't like the conflict either. I find the best way to do it is to wait until the other person has just made you really, truly mad. Write down every heinous thing he does...every little bit of neglect, every rude word....and wait. Stop talking to him. Stop sleeping with him...wait until he comes to you and asks what is wrong.
When he asks what is wrong either tell him to move out or tell him you're moving out. You already know that this relationship is going nowhere. You already know that you are unhappy. Please don't hang onto this loser and allow him to make it worse and worse as time goes by. You and your child deserve a better and more peaceful and healthy existence.
2007-06-19 13:32:12 · answer #2 · answered by A.R. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes leave, think about not just u but ur child. Ur child may pick up on the yelling and all the other stuff he's doing and then if u stay with him and he/she gets older they r going to be like him. Leave him u deserve better, Someone who doesn't humiliate u, adn loves u the right way. U don't deserve this stress.
2007-06-19 13:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get out!! Why are you going on vacation with someone who abuses you??? What kind of fun is that??? If you think being humiliating is fun, then you have more issues then you think you have!!!
You need to tell him to get out, and you need to find a more affordable place for yourself and your child. Go on section 8 if you don't have enough money to pay for rent yourself. There's no reason why any woman should be treated like this!!!
It's better to be alone and miserable then to be with someone who makes you miserable!!!!
Good Luck!!!
2007-06-19 13:34:00 · answer #4 · answered by babysteppin2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know you should tell him to leave -- from the looks of it you don't really need him around anyhow. Breaking up doesn't have to be some strenous, tooth pulling experience. Just tell him how you feel, be respectful (although he might resort to his tantrums and yelling), be honest and be true to yourself. Think of it this way --- why waste time hanging on to someone who needs to get their act together? You already have a kid, you don't need a full grown one. Best of luck
2007-06-19 13:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by Jessie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has a plan financially that you dont know about. Ask him.
Have you decided on a place to live?
How is alcohol an issue?
2007-06-19 13:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by Elpablo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's still very immature if he's only 23. He probably won't grow up for another 10 years, when he gets to be about your age.
2007-06-19 13:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that u need some time 2 figure out what is going on how ur kids r feel about this fighting
2007-06-19 13:33:19 · answer #8 · answered by puppy4_stitch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your afraid of him, you can get a restraining order, and when the sheriff serves him they will get him out of your place.
2007-06-19 13:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by shorte716 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get out. You're not his mom, and it sounds like that is what he needs.
2007-06-19 13:28:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you don't want (use the word "want" rather than "love") him anymore.
2007-06-19 13:29:54 · answer #11 · answered by Curious mind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋