I have 2 "best friends" one whom I've been close to throughout childhood, and the other I'm better friends with NOW, but haven't known her quite as long. How do I choose?? And if I chose both of them like I've heard someone say, how do you choose what each is supposed to do and who stands where during the ceremony? Thanks!
2007-06-19 06:18:11 · 12 answers · asked by VDJ44 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You can absolutely have 2 maids of honor. If you choose both, then their order will depend on seniority. As silly as it sounds, the older of the 2 (or the one who is married, if any) would go first. If neither are married, then it is really up to you who goes first and who stands closest to you, etc. The title is what is important, not so much their place in line.
2007-06-19 07:38:01 · answer #1 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel, I just went through the same thing with a best friend I've known since age 8 & my other best friend, who I have been extremely close to since the 7th grade. It really depends on the situation...in mine I would have chosen the best friend from 7th grade b/c we were closer & she's been a better friend to me over the years, but it would have really hurt the other girl's feelings. Therefore I ended up asking both of them to be Maids of Honor & they both seemed really happy about it. In the end, I think it will make my wedding day be a happy day for everyone involved & spare someone's feelings being really hurt (and possibly hurting our friendship). Also, this way they can share the responsibilities of being MOH and I would say let the one who you are closest with now stand nearest to you in the ceremony (which would also mean she'd be the last to walk the aisle before you)..good luck, I know what a difficult position that is!!
2007-06-20 19:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, consider these things first...is one more responsible than the other? Who will plan a great bridal shower and bachelorette party for you? Who will be available to go dress shopping with you and pick out jewelry and calm you down when your mom starts driving you crazy? Is one of them local and one of them further away? Also, are you expecting reciprocation? I had the problem that I had 2 best friends and the one has a sister...so she told me up front that if i picked her, i shouldn't expect me to be her MOH b/c it would be her sister...so maybe consider that as well.
If you decide to have two, you simply have to put them in the order you choose...I had a friend who simply chose by height :) And, if you have two, thats a lot less responsibility on one person...it can be as simple as making a list of what you feel a MOH responsibility should be and saying, "here it is, you two get together and choose who does what" because that is what they're there for...to take the stress off of you! Also, both can give a toast at the reception or if one doesn't want to (is too shy, etc) then you already have another available :)
Good luck
2007-06-19 13:31:37 · answer #3 · answered by its about time 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will be in the same predicament when I do get married. I have been best friends with one girl literally my whole life and the other girl, since about 7th grade. I will be having the girl that has been there for my whole life as the maid of honor....mainly because A) We promised that to eachother when we were like 7, and B) She has been my friend longer. The easy way to go about just having one Maid of honor is to go by length of friendship. That way, you arent telling either one that they are better friends than the other. The girl that you have known shorter should completely understand....if she doesn't, she wasn't a good friend to start with. Remember-it is your day and you get things how YOU want them-not anyone else....well, except maybe the groom. :o)
2007-06-19 13:28:22 · answer #4 · answered by Jackie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best friend now...do you trust her like you do with your childhood friend? Which bond is stronger. I think I would choose my best friend now, if we has a really tight bond. But both is a really good idea. They can share the maid of honor responsibilities and both of them could stand next to you. You could give them a beautiful bracelet or a different bouquet to distinguish them from your other bridesmaids.
Have Fun!
2007-06-19 13:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by Rainer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've experienced the same sort of delimma over choosing between my bestfriends who I'm growing further and further apart from as I get older and my fiance's sisters who I expect to grow closer and closer to and know for a very long time.
I think that I decided that I would invite everyone to be a bridesmaid then see who steps up to plate to help me through the process. I'll probably let that person know that I consider them to be my MOH and have them stand in that position a month or so before the event, but I probably won't make a huge deal out of it so that I don't hurt anyone's feelings.
I've gotten my feelings hurt before when a friend chose a recent friend over me as her MOH (in fact I wasn't even asked to be in the wedding). I'd like it to be a simple, fun day without a bunch of hoopla, but I still want to give thanks where thanks is due.
2007-06-19 13:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by SecretariesRule 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose them both- then outline all the things a m.o.h. does and let them divy it up themselves. You will have enough on your hands w/ out having to delegate their duties to them. As to where to stand, have one stand next to you w/ your bouquet, and the other next to her with your grooms ring (unless you have a ringbearer). This way they both have a big part in the ceremony (and it wont be a big deal for girl #2 to step out of line to pass your ring to you). I would have the childhood friend closest to you. Maybe give them both a reading to do together- like the older friend begins it, to represent your past together, and your newer friend ends it, to represent your present. No matter what you do, if these girls are cool enough to be your BFs, they will understand and not make too big a deal about it!:) Congrats, and don't let these little details stress you - they all just want to be there w/ you on your big day!
2007-06-19 13:30:16 · answer #7 · answered by Fitzdiva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can have them both be your maid of honor.Give them each a fair amount of duties. At the ceremony you can have them stand in couples. Male & female on either side of the bride and groom.
2007-06-19 13:25:25 · answer #8 · answered by butterflyesie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom had two sisters who both wanted to be the maid of honor in her wedding. My mom was pressured by both so she made them bothmaid and matron of honor, but she made my older aunt do the typical matron of honor thing and my younger aunt sang the wedding mass.
Is one of your friends a good singer?
2007-06-19 13:27:51 · answer #9 · answered by sunnygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only one can be the Maid of Honor. The other would have to be a bridesmaid. Pick the one you are closest to now.
2007-06-19 14:02:40 · answer #10 · answered by whymewhynow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋