is this cheating and what should I do?

Question

I called my boyfriend over yesterday so that we could have sex, but I didn't want just any kind of sex, I wanted it rough and passionate. But when he came over he acted like such a softy and I wasn't interested anymore. He told me he felt like a failure for not being able to please me. The thing is he just doesn't try anything new or look to books or anything to help even after I point them out to him.
So in the middle of the night I wake up and he is masterbating. It was strange cause it was all secretive, and I was mad and said that it bothered me. But I was gonna leave it at that I mean I didn't give him any so why not jack off.
Then he goes to the bathroom and my intuition tells me to check his phone (i mean he was acting funny). I find that his ex invited him to her sister's wedding but then the other text messages are nasty, and talk about dick and them *******.
I confronted him, hit him(which I feel bad about), and kicked him out.
I trust know it was just a text thing

they haven't had sex but he masterbated while texting her and I was sleeping in the bed right next to him. I don't want to end the relationship cause I don't think he feels okay with what he did. He cried and feels god awful. Plus they didn't really sleep together. But the other side of me says this should be the breaking point, right? I am so confused!!!

Answer 1

Yea, ever heard of drawing the line? Most be hard when you hate yourself enough to just ask a guy over for some ruff, passionate sex. No offense its the classic thing to do, but what happen is classical in its own sense. Cheating takes many forms, thats what tv doesn't teach, concellors know a little better. Ether way it is cheating, and worse your cheating on yourself by selling yourself so short with this behavior. Do you really what a lover that doesn't tell you everything? Do you really what a lover were you have to assume what he is doing is nobel? Do you really what a lover that likes to have text sex? I mean really you need to take a strong look at how much your really hurting yourself with this guy, and let him go. Also try doing some deep, intense conversation about life, purpose, the news, anything. And then work into sex, it so much better, and you'll get that rough, passionate stuff when it isn't all there is.....