Do we have to invite fiance's father's new wife?

Question

Basically, my fiance's father left his mom after 21 years of marriage for another woman almost a year ago. They are now married, but he (my fiance's father) basically hasn't talked to my fiance since December, nor did he tell him he was getting married. He also did not introduce us to his new wife (who was present) at Thanksgiving. We're wondering if we have to address the invitation to the both of them even though we don't really want her to come (it would cause to much stress on my fiance's Mom and I really don't want drama at my wedding). Any advice would be helpful.

Just to clarify.. I'm not trying to down play their marriage. I realize it's valid and I respect that. I just don't want my wedding ruined... I kind of doubt either of them will come anyway.. On a separate but related note, if past behavior is a reflection of what she'll do in the future, then I would like to send out a notice that she's barred from the wedding to everyone I know... okay not really, but while my fiances parents were still married she threw eggs at their house and broke one of the windows on his mom's car. To this day she still calls her on the phone to curse her out... I just feel like we'll regret it later if things turn around with his Dad and he realizes his family is important.

Answer 1

As a professional in the field of wedding of coordinating and consultation i would urge you both to request a meeting with the father present only and express your concerns abotu his new wife. express that you would like to invite him but you would also prefer for her not to attend as this is his son's big day as wel las yours. tell him that you he never made the son aware that he was married nor invited. tell him that you feel excluded from his personal life as a family. tell him that there isnt enough time for his ex-wife to adjust to his new wife and the wedding is NOT the place to start it. If he refuses to come without her then this is his own doing. His son was in his life before this woman came along and his will always be his son no matter what. So to choose his current wife over his son shows you where his priorties and concerns are.

Answer 2

This isn't some random girlfriend, this is his wife. They are a social unit. Neither etiquette, common sense, nor basic human decency allows you to invite one without the other. How would you feel if your husband was invited to a wedding without you?

You invite all parents and their current spouses. It's then up to them to all remember to behave themselves. If you think there's a chance someone will misbehave, ask a trusted friend to keep and eye on the situation and run interference if necessary.

I know you want to spare your fiance's mother stress, but unless there are only a dozen people at this wedding there's every chance she won't need to actually speak to her ex-husband or his bride. Relax, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that it's quite possible that even if she comes your fiance's father will still manage not to introduce her to anyone.

Answer 3

If they are married, then they are a 2 on the RSVP card. You can't invite one without the other. And just because he may be an incredibly insensitive father (more likely just not sure how to handle things right) doesn't mean you guys have to be too. It is what it is. As adults, after a year of marriage the family will just have to accept it and move on.

Answer 4

I think you'll have drama either way. Not inviting his wife could really offend your finaces father. But inviting her could really offend his mother.

This is really sticky. Talk to your fiance about what the lesser of two evils is. Could his mom just politely ignore the new wife? If she's a classy woman, she could enjoy the evening dispite the fact that woman is there. Is the new wife one to start drama? Or would his father understand not wanting her there?

Answer 5

wow, that is a tough question.... if you think it would cause drama at your wedding if they came, then its not worth ruining your day over, its a once in a lifetime thing (in most cases). but then again it might cause a even bigger problem if you dont invite them at all (i.e. hurting his dads fellings or causing drama) and it takes a while to get over that kind of stuff. another thing to think about is if you give his father an invitation, most likely he will bring her anyway. well hope i could be of some assistance.

Answer 6

If you invite the father, you have to invite his wife - if you're following ettiquette. I think that it would be better to not invite either of them than to invite only the dad. It's not ONLY the new wife's fault that this happened - his dad had a part in it! Anyway... IMO they should both be invited, not just one. Seat them far apart from the rest of the family.

Answer 7

if u dont know or care for this woman im sure the day of the wedding isnt the b est time. Adress the invite to him only, if the dad has concerns then give him an oppurtunity to come around and be apart of everything. ur not obligated ot make anyone happy except ur fiance and yourself.

Answer 8

You know if you invite him she will come invited or not. Either way your in a difficult situation and you just have to hope the father will stay away from the mother as it's your day not theirs.

Answer 9

It is improper to invite someone to a wedding and not invite the spouse. Considering that it will be stressful, and he seems pretty rude himself, just don't invite either of them.

Answer 10

that is incorrect of him, yet...and here is going the previous refrain...you won't be able to make somebody else substitute. you could in easy terms settle on the form you will act. And the reason he could spend time including your loved ones even although he won't be able to spend time along with his, is that your loved ones had invited you. family participants squabbles are the worst. The sitcoms portray a extra advantageous image of holiday journeys on occasion than greeting enjoying cards. families are the final and worst, and holiday journeys, weddings, funerals, are circumstances of intense emotion that carry out that ultimate and worst. I agree this could nicely be a super whammy to take at any time, not to point Christmas. i will comprehend your injury and anger, and G's. could be there are different issues happening you don't be attentive to approximately. it could't be his father's determination. it could his step mom's, her sister's, they won't have room or had to ask human beings from artwork this 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. there is rigidity in that family participants over different issues. And in a manner, it won't be able to be helped that J is nearer to his father, because of the fact that he lived with him longer...and along with his stepmom. Have G and J observed it? the place's your fiance's mom now? a minimum of it relieves you of the overload of having to chop up a while and make judgements on who you will could pass away out or say no to in a family participants of maximum of kinfolk. some in rules insist on the full holiday with out even thinking the couple or the different family participants, and reason super difficulty over that. with a bit of luck your fiance gets over his injury adequate to forge onward and spend it gradual with those he can, although i will think of it taking it gradual to recover from the part. i could be concerned, although, if he refuses. He desires to artwork this out and that is not stable taking it out on your or your loved ones. perhaps this is time so which you will start a number of your guy or woman holiday traditions. We used to commerce holiday journeys, besides, and does not be on an identical domicile 2 years in a row. As to what you're able to do, be supportive of your fiance, supply him his time to grieve and hear him. you won't be able to alter him, the two, yet you could request that he not make jabs at you. stable success on making the final holiday....and existence...which you will, in spite of different's selections!