According to Christian faith and the Bible...?

Question

nb, this was before I was Christian. But I am wondering what would have been the correct way to respond had I been Christian back then.

When my ex husband of 7months marriage found out I was pregnant (he took risks too, I didn't trick him!) he gave me the choice between having an abortion or a divorce. I actually divorced him on the grounds of adultery, because he started seeing another woman less than a month after this, and I didn't want my children to know the real reason for the divorce.
Bearing in mind that to remarry (and one day I might) can be classified as adultery...
Bearing in mind that if I hadn't accepted the idea of divorce then I would have had to have killed my baby...

What is the correct way to deal with this situation as a Christian?

Answer 1

Calebs Mom and alan h gave you excellent answers. Read the whole chapter of Romans 8.
My first wife was a virgin when we met as teenagers, we had sex before marriage; then she told me she liked sex so much she was into "recreational" sex. She actually became a prostitute. Needless to say, we got divorced. I am thankful I didn't end up diseased.
I hated women for awhile, but God had a different plan; and I have been happily married to a Godly woman for 23 years. I told wife #2 all about wife #1 before we got real serious, and she told me the scripture Romans 5:20 "Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more..."

Answer 2

You are not bound to your ex husband. God's laws regarding marriage refers to believers, not non-believers. Moreover, the Bible is an instruction book for christians, not the world. You are therefore free to marry whomever you choose to marry.

Even though you weren't a christian at the time, you made the right decision in divorcing this man. Had you been a christian, you would have still been justified. Clearly, this man was not in Christ, and christians are not bound to a non-believing spouse, (1 Corinthians 7:13-15). You were free to divorce him, either way. You also made an excellent decision in accepting Christ as your savior. You have already proven yourself to be of strong character, and one can only imagine what your future holds. Your kids are very fortunate to have you as their mom. Now, stop worrying about the past and start living your life. The storm is over!

Answer 3

Remember that when you became a Christian, Jesus forgave you. Therefore whatever happened in the past is largely irrelevant, except inasmuch as it gives you an insight into what others may be going through.
Remarriage would, in your situation, not be adultery.
You divorced him on the groumds of adultery, which Jesus permitted.
The correct way to deal with it is to acceot His forgiveness, forgive yoursel, and move on
Read 1 JOHN 1: 9

Answer 4

Sweetie, if all this happened before you were a Christian, once you became a Christian, all was forgiven, it's under the blood. But even if not, I do believe God understands what situation you were put in by your husband. You valued the life of your unborn child over the ignorance of a man. I would have done the very same thing. I feel you are free to remarry to a decent good man if you can find one.

Answer 5

You committed the sin before you repented. Once you repented then you were washed clean. The BLOOD of JESUS WASHES THOSE THAT ARE REPENTANT IN THE HEART, AS TRUE REPENTANTS DO NOT RETURN TO THE SIN THEY ONCE COMMITTED.

Before I encountered this question, I have been thinking about the woman that was found in adultery and publicly embarrassed and threatened with stoning.

"He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone" John 8:7

He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.
Woman, where are those accusers of yours?
Has no one condemned you? Neither do I condemn you: go and sin no more.

We can be like the pharisees and get into the legalistic way and see the literal word of the law rather than the Grace God wants to show us.

It is obvious you are sorry and hopefully will never have sex outside of marriage. That asking God to guide you and believe that your feet are ordered by GOD.

The LAW is there for us to SEE, HEAR and UNDERSTAND what SIN is. NOT KEEP US FROM SINNING. THAT IS A HEART THING, if you love GOD then sinning will be easy to cut off.

We gain faith by hearing. ASK SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND.

Answer 6

Divorce and re-marriage on grounds of adultery is expressly allowed by Jesus.

And Paul seemed to say that a Christian is not to blame for the divorce if the unbelieving spouse asks for the divorce first (1 Cor. 7).

So you would be Biblically allowed to divorce your ex-husband either way.

Answer 7

It is not adultery if you re-marry. You have what Catholics call the "Pauline Priviledge" (see 1 Cor. 7) of being able to divorce a man for infidelity. Because your ex started to see another woman while you were still married, HE is the adulterer....not you. If you do re-marry, you are not commiting adultery. You have the "priviledge" of being able to divorce him becasue HE IS an adulterer. MT 5:32 -- "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." Jesus does allow divorce and remarriage due to "unfaithfulness".

If you were Catholic, you could easily get your marriage annulled for 2 reasons: his infidelity and his pressuring you to murder your unborn child. This signifies that there was no "true" marriage to begin with. Pressuring a woman for an abortion/murder says that he was never really ready emotionally and morally for the Sacrament of Marriage to begin with. Catholics must need to be OPEN to the possibility of children.

Answer 8

In the case of divorce on the grounds of adultery, the innocent party is free to remarry. Based on what you have stated, the divorce was scriptural and you have the scriptural right to remarry. Your ex-husband, on the other hand, does not.

See source for discussion on marriage/divorce/remarriage

Answer 9

If you were baptised into Christ since the divorce all those previous sins have been forgiven. So it should not be a problem to remarry. Just be more careful next time who you marry.

Good luck

Answer 10

If your spouse says "I have fallen out of love with you" don't panic. It doesn't mean your marriage is over. It doesn't even mean they don't love you. How to get your spouse to love you again https://tr.im/vua7b

What it does mean is that your spouse has lost their way, or doesn't understand the many stages love and a relationship goes through.

You are being called to take charge of the situation, guide your spouse towards understanding this process, and even begin to rekindle your relationship.

The key to success is in understanding what is happening in your marriage and the role that love plays. It's very easy for us to connect losing the feelings of being in love with actual loving when it is not really the case.