I met a smart and very beautiful girl who goes to a church near my house. While I was walking by, I saw her struggling moving some boxes from her car into the church and I helped her. Afterwards, we talked and exchanged numbers. But she told me she would only go on a date with me after I went to church with her and her family.
I really would like to date this girl, not just because she's good looking but also because she seems intelligent and we converse very easily. But I would feel like a real charlatan going to church, since I don't believe in God at all. Should I just go to church with her once so I'll have a shot with her?
2007-06-19 04:04:31 · 38 answers · asked by Subconsciousless 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
define wrong
2007-06-19 04:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by 8theist 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course it is not wrong to go. However, it is important to be honest with her, saying, "I can see that this church and your family are important to you. I'd like to learn more about what your life is about, so I'd like to go with you and your family to service. I myself am not Christian, since I don't believe in a God, which you should know."
If she can accept you as an atheist, and you can accept her as a Christian, you may be on the road to a successful inter-religious relationship. But if she can't, you will have spared both of you heartbreak and disappointment.
Expect that there may be some shock or distress. if this isn't a deal-breaker for her, though, she'll get over it.
2007-06-19 04:12:41 · answer #2 · answered by snowbaal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be nice of you to go to church with her. It shows that you respect her beliefs. But don't deceive her into thinking you're something you're not.
I dated an agnostic atheist guy for three years. He'd come to church with me occasionally, mainly for holidays and family events. I know he didn't believe in God nor was I trying to force it on him but I really appreciated him showing me such support and respect.
In turn I went to this really extreme atheist book group with him. He wasn't that extreme and sometimes I think he just did it to test me. Jerk. But it was a good time anyway.
I really hope that doing these things with each other taught the atheists that not all Christans are simple minded fools and the church-goers that atheists can be good people. And pretty dang charming, too.
2007-06-19 04:10:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds out of sync to me. I think it's good to have my thoughts in line with my feelings. It's only a matter of making a decision, for sure. I consider my feelings as my intuition. What if I fall in love or she does? Then I'd probably decide. Why not do it now or soon? I was always told that I would marry someone I went out with so I didn't go out with someone out of my qualifications. I never did want to take that chance. I felt I owed it to myself. A little bit of self insurance and self assurance. Internal harmony is bliss, to me.
And who says Atheists can't have morals. Atheists can be criminal, but they don't have to be unless, it's a religion. Wow. No ethics as a religion? I suspect a lot of people are two faced, no matter what they call themselves. Herbert Spencer didn't have to invoke God to write, "Data on Ethics." It's rational self interest, of ,say an Ayn Rand, an Atheist. How can you trust someone who doesn't believe in anything. Not believing in God doesn't mean not believing in anything so someone can't count on us. Of course I don't mean you, just musing.
2007-06-19 04:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by hb12 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she know you're an atheist?
Well it sounds like you should go with her. You may have a good shot at that. You're just preventing religion from coming between you two.
3 possibilities.
a) She is just using her good looks to convert you.
b) She is the type that wants to change you, so don't get serious.
c) She just wants to see if you would do that for her.
2007-06-19 04:11:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with an open mind. This will give you an opportunity to understand the beauty of worship and spirituality without the negative "guessing" that you are used to hearing.
Accompanying her will be a start to a new relationship, yes. But perhaps you can understand why she attends and what brings her happiness and peace.
Go in peace.
2007-06-19 04:11:13 · answer #6 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eh. There's nothing wrong with it, but think about it, no matter how smart she seems, she is still deluded in a very big way. Especially the going to church with her family thing - scary. I would have run screaming at that point.
2007-06-19 04:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by eri 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm an athiest and I got married in a church because my wife is religious.
Do what you need to do to find happiness. Just don't lie and ruin someone else's happiness to achieve your own. In other words, don't tell her your religious just to get her to date you.
Founding a relationship upon lies will only doom it from the start.
2007-06-19 04:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by Ritz Grimarren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And what do you think her response would be once she finds out you're an atheist and just went to church to pick her up? Most women would NOT be pleased.
Honesty is always best.
2007-06-19 04:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She should love it, and accept you in a most loving way,
A true altruist believes that you come before them.
But if she rejects you, she needs the church more than you do. She isn't getting it, or the church polluted her mind.
2007-06-19 04:09:05 · answer #10 · answered by Real Friend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. like her go to church with her and her family. Smile and be a really nice guy. If they ask if you believe in God just say yes.
Of course you will be lying to her...is this what you want to do? Is she worth lying for?
2007-06-19 04:09:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋