How would you react if your child came to you and told you they were gay?

Question

In light of your own spiritual beliefs, what would you say to them and how would you say it?

Answer 1

I would ask them "how do you know?" I'd first evaluate why they thought that.

Then I'd say "how do you feel about it?" I would let them lead the conversation. I would be there to support, listen, offer suggestions.

(EDIT) To the person who posted above me...so how does that work? "I love you without condition, but can you please not be around me much anymore?" Yeah, I'm sure a kid is going to see "unconditional love" all over that. You do know what "unconditional" means don't you? How about the word "love"? You know what that one means too?

Answer 2

I have four boys...statically this could very well happen to me. It wouldn't bother me in the least. But then, I think I would be able to tell even before he came to tell me. I would say..."So now what?" (as in ~ what's the plan). I would ask if he were in a relationship, or just thinking about it, I would want to meet the person if he were in a relationship...I would ask if they were monogamous/protecting themselves. There is so much I would ask...but it wouldn't be any different than if they were a male/female relationship.

Spiritually speaking ~ hate the sin, love the sinner...no matter what!!!! I am not a judge, I am a compassionate being.

Answer 3

I'm not sure. I mean, it's not like they're asking if they can be gay so maybe it's like if they discover they have something like a double jointed elbow or something. I'm not sure it gets them anything (well, gay will get them ridicule but I'm sure if they're telling me this they already know that). I think I'd be over it pretty quickly but come back with questions 5 minutes after that meeting was over - I always do that.

Edit: see...I re-read the answer and feel compelled to say - they don't know being gay gets them ridiculed because I ridicule gays but because pretty much any guy with less testosterone than Arnold Schwarzenegger gets called gay these days. It's just an incredibly common taunt.

Answer 4

My wife and I have discussed this in length. We are both Christian and agree that being homosexual is NOT a sin, but engaging in homosexual acts is a sin (just like premarital sex is a sin).

Just like mentioned above, I would be pleased that my son or doughter felt comfortable to tell me. We would explain that we love them no matter what, but would not approve of their behavior. We did disagree in the area of bf/gf. I don't mind gay friends but would not like for them to "date." My wife sees nothing wrong with it as long as they dont have sex or anything.

Emotionally, I think I would be disappointed, but not with my child... more so with God. I may even be angry at HIm. You have these dreams for your kids: marriage, jobs, grankids, etc. and I would feel that if they are gay, some of those things are "off-limits" while some would be harder to come by (possibly). It would definitely strengthen my prayer life!

If Homosexuality had not been taken out of the DSM IV, then many issues revolving around the topic would be null. How homosexuals are treated would be much different and gay marriage would not be an issue of contention (No one has problems with two depressed people marrying, do they? or two schizos?)

Answer 5

When my daughter told me that she loves a woman, it broke my heart. But it didn't affect my feelings toward my daughter. I was selfish because I wanted a granddaughter who looks just like her (she is beautiful) and I believe homosexuality is a sin.

I spoke with a lot of people, from my pastors (who told me it is an abomination) to a friend who is a youth minister (who told me that God loves my daughter regardless) to an AIDS counselor (who told me how difficult it is and that the feelings I was going through were normal reactions).

Finally, I realized that just because she is a lesbian doesn't mean she isn't the same baby I gave birth to. That I love her as fiercely now as I did the day she was born, and that nothing she could ever do would make me not love her.

I hate her lifestyle and she knows it. I tried to be upfront about my feelings, both positive and negative. But I love her and I care for her friend and I pray for them daily. But there are thousands of other choices she could have made that would be much worse, and I thank God for that.

Answer 6

Depending on the age of the child I would determine if s/he is old enough to really make that decision. If its a young child I would just say OK and forget it.

If its a teenager I would talk to him or her about their feelings and make sure they understand that either orientation is OK, and make sure they aren't basing this on the wrong thing such as rejection by the opposite sex.

Answer 7

It would upset me because I know how people can be with people with differences. I would love my child no matter what! If he married a fat ugly woman from another race or a beautiful man (ugly man, I might have a problem with, lol). I would only care if they could take care of one another and if their love is really real. That's what's important. God loves everyone and we should too (even if they are ugly, my bad, I'll try harder to love everyone).

Answer 8

The same way I'd respond if my child came to me and told me she was straight.

Along these lines, I told my family that I would rather see my child with another woman (she's a girl) who treated her right than a man who treated her horrible, and you'd have thought I just announced I was the antichrist! Of course, they are religious zealots, but Geez!

Answer 9

I would be overjoyed that they felt they were able to come and talk to me. I would give them my blessing to live their lives as they felt they must and tell them that my door would always be open to them, even when all others were closed. There are no conditions to a mother's love of her child. I think that is how my Heavenly Mother feels about me.

Answer 10

Well, to be honest, I'd probably know all along if my kid was gay, or I'd at least have hints since I would know him/her all my life.
I'd honestly be really happy for them.
I might be more worried about them because they would possibly face more persecution or struggles with their sexuality. But nothing would really change.

Answer 11

Well, I'm a Christian. My husband and I have talked about this, and we decided that if that should happen, we would just tell them we don't approve (my husband is agnostic) but that we love them just the same. And that's it.