Yesterday i got mad at my boyfriend and was really irritated because i am always the one to do all the chores around the house. I asked him to do the laundry and instead he got on the computer. I then went into the room to get the laundry basket and he came chasing me and wanted to give me a hug and mess around with me while i was mad. I didn't know what else to do becuase he wouldn't let me get through so i smacked him. This is the 1st time i did this and now he says he doesn't want to talk. I think he's really hurt and i don't want to break up. We have been together for 4 years, live together, and i didn't mean to do it. I sent him an email and called him to tell him i'm sorry, but all he says is that he doesn't want to talk. Any feedback?
2007-06-19 03:13:02 · 17 answers · asked by sue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Welcome to the world of double standards. If he had slapped you, every woman here would be saying to "call the police, press charges, get out of there right now". You slap him, in anger, and the answers here are about letting him calm down, and how you need to "work on your relationship"
You seem to have some anger issues. You asked him to do laundry, and when he did not jump up and do it right then, you got angry. You stomped into where he was and when he tried to give you a hug, and let you know he cared about you, you hit him!
Men are taught that it is never OK to hit a woman. He was hit, and he had no good way to respond. If he calls the police and files charges, he looks like a wimp in the eyes of his friends. He was "beaten up" by a woman. If he were to hit you back, he would be considered an abuser!
He removed himself from the situation, and now is upset! He has every right to be. He does not want to talk to you right now. You are trying to justify your actions and they are not justifiable!!!! He really has few options. If it were me, I would be done with you!!!!!!
2007-06-19 03:31:22 · answer #1 · answered by fire4511 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the genders were reversed, everyone here would call you an abuser and tell him to get out of the relationship. So I'll do that. If you hit him once, you'll hit him again . . . and where does it stop? Get some anger management counseling.
If you aren't willing to do that, then put out like a fiend for a while to quell his justified anger at you. Men shouldn't have to put up with that s#!t any more than women, so you should show your sorry repeatedly in a very physical kind of way.
2007-06-19 03:25:37 · answer #2 · answered by terry m 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I doubt a smack will break you up. I'm sure it hurt his pride more than anything. Just tell him how sorry you are and that you were stressed out at the time because you want him to help out some around the place. DO NOT make excuses for your slap, but instead tell him what you're going to do so that it doesn't happen again, and in return what you need from him as well.
Good luck.
2007-06-19 03:17:48 · answer #3 · answered by Spooks 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you were my girl and slapped me id be pi55ed off! Stop calling him and give him some time to cool off, then when the time is right apologise to him.
You've been together 4 years so he wont break up with you, just reassure him it will not happen again, and tell him you're not happy with him being lazy... say he has to do some work around the house because you're not his slave.
2007-06-19 03:19:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'll tell you this much - what would bother me is that he can't strike you, no matter what. If he did, and you called the cops (hell even if he didn't hit you and you called the cops), they'd automatically believe you and haul him away.
So yes, you deserve to feel worried that this might be the end. Perhaps you'll learn to exercise a little self-control (something we men are forced to do), and you won't hit the next poor sucker that dates you.
2007-06-19 03:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
If I were you, I would break up. If you do all the chores normally, and you asked him to do the laundry once and he started to use the computer, you have every right to break up. However, I don't think that slapping him was the greatest idea ever.
2007-06-19 03:17:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
He should dump you because you are obviously crazy. If he had smacked you, I am sure it would be a different story right now. He would probably be in Jail. I think he needs to dump you...FAST!!!
2007-06-19 03:19:04 · answer #7 · answered by bailjr 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he loves your, you will not break up over this. He just needs time to realize what happened and he needs to know that you cannot do everything around the house.
I've been in this position before, and we are fine and still together=)
good luck!
2007-06-19 03:17:55 · answer #8 · answered by Jenna 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
umm... maybe be a little more level headed? tell him how you feel instead of doing that ****...
i guess apologize is all you can do, or wait for him to calm down
2007-06-19 03:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by toothPASTE 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first off shame on him for getting on the computer
second why would u smack him? that is not a good last resort. would u want him to smack u?
all u can do is say u r sorry, and if he doesn't accept it, that's his problem, not yours.
2007-06-19 03:17:51 · answer #10 · answered by random bailey 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋