How can I tell my 25 year old daughter, who thinks she is small because she is short, that she is overweight?

Question

She is 4'9" and weighs 145 lbs. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I am worried about her health and her husband says she is just fine

Answer 1

Tell her exactly that, that you don't want or intend to hurt her feelings, but are concerned about her health. Arm yourself with facts -- from doctors, articles, the internet, etc., so that when she wants to just put it off as your opinion she'll have to face the facts -- even if that's after you've gone.

To tell you the truth, she probably already knows that she's overweight for her height, but simply doesn't want to admit it to others -- and if her husband is fine with it, there's not much incentive there to lose weight either.

Love her no matter what, and you'll be fine.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Alright, well whoever said that 4'9 and 145 wasn't overweight was wrong.

However, I wouldn't say anything just yet, but if you feel the need to say something say it in an honest way. How about the two of you go to the local gym to workout or maybe mention to her, "I hear Weight Watchers has a good program out now, want to give it a try?" That way, you won't be saying it directly.

It hurts a lot when you're told that you're overweight and that your weight is NOT okay. I had to face that reality two months ago but I did something about it. I'm now 16 pounds lighter and I'm glad I had someone let me know about my weight problem.

She will keep packing on the weight if she doesn't do something about it now. She's still young, but that's exactly the point. She's young, so why wouldn't she want to be in the best health she could be?

Answer 3

Please don't tell her. There is nothing more hurtful than hearing someone you love tell you that you are overweight.

If she owns a mirror or try clothes on in shops, she obviously knows that she is overweight.

Did you encourage healthy food and kept her away from fast food, chips, fizzy drinks, sweets when she was a child? Then you have done your part - otherwise accept that she is grown up and has to run her own life.

Be grateful that she has a husband who loves her and focus on the positive instead of the negative.

When she comes to eat at your house serve healthy food and don't put out fast food etc in front of her. If this is unusual and she asks why, tell her that you have started to eat healthy, and tell her how much better you feel without exaggerating.

Does she live close to you? Why not do something physical together like tennis or yoga. Or long walks in the nature.

Just don't tell her she is overweight, you are not doing her a favor. She knows, or she will find out soon enough. Perhaps find a novel or a movie about someone who lost weight and give it to her. Encourage her to watch Oprah, she regularly has tips on weight loss.

Answer 4

Your daughter is nearly an old age pensioner as far as you having control over what she eats is concerned. There is nothing you can do without coming off second best. She likes herself and is apparently happy. Why intervene? She has already expressed her opinion that she is fine the way that she is.

Now we all know that your metabolism starts to slow at around 25 so she will start to put on weight if she doesn't change her diet appropriate to her level of exercise.... but being told by your mother that you are fat, at whatever age you are, is no encouragement at all to starting a healthy regime. Buy her a nice recipe book.

Answer 5

Her husband may be fine with it because he loves her, but for health reason she should try to lose some of the weight.. I would encourage her to join the gym with you, or to start a new 1500 diet with you.. that way she won´t feel offended by you just blurting out that she is over weight.. Ask her husband to join in the effort ( even though he loves her ) but to have people support her during the weight loss is the best way she can lose some weight ..

Hopefully my advice helped!

Good Luck

Bcn_mimosa from Barcelona, Spain

Answer 6

Perhaps instead of coming right out and saying she is overweight you can invite her to join you in physical activities, or if you really want to be sneaky invite her to outings that will involve lots of walking, without exercise being the main focus. Or you could find the formula for body mass index (an indicator of correct weight ratio) then tell her yours and ask if she would like to try. Perhaps finding out her BMI is too high would open her eyes.

Answer 7

If she is healthy (cholesterol, glucose, triglycerides, etc) then her weight shouldn't be an issue, especially if she doesn't have a problem with it.

I wouldn't say anything.

I personally would love to weigh 145 lbs (I'm 5 feet short), so I don't think she is too overweight with that height at all.

Answer 8

She is more than overweight. According to the Body Mass Index, (the most reliable of all indicators to-date), she is OBESE! She is in severe danger of developing Diabetes2, a disease which will change her life forever if she doesn't back off now. It's like pulling the trigger of a gun; you can't un-pull it. It's either lifelong maintenance or death. It is essential that her husband get behind this situation (it will change HIS life, too!) I cannot stress strongly enough: This is a potentially very dangerous situation and you are right to be worried about it. Good luck to all!

Answer 9

Well maybe she is comfortable the way she is..But if you are worried about her health just talk to her about health issues, ask her opinion...Like eating healthy, running, exercises...and feeling good about NOT having the burger, instead of feeling good about eating the burger..
Or invite her for a everyday running,,,
take care

Answer 10

well have to talk to her without her husband knowing.I remeber wan i use to weigh 200lbs whene i was only 13years old and my parents decied to (my dad) decided to have a father son talk he was honest and direct and got me going on the right track. now i am 6.4 and weigh only 140lbs. and i lost all that wegiht in 2years of hard work...Tell her that you are concerned and as a parent it is your duty to worry about this stuff.But the last thing you want to do is make her fell bad,Be honest be direct and because you are a mom be sweet..good luck