i'm an emotional reck i need help?

Question

me and my gf (girl friend) our going through a really rough patch. My gf don't know wot she want's. this has bin going on for a while now and every now and then she will tell me that she don't love me and that she don't really know wot she want's. then the next she's pulling me close and holding me then she's pushing me away again. i got to the stage where i couldn't take anymore so i called it a day. Now i've ad time to think and i want to stay wiv her she means the world to me! but she say's that it hurts her but she also felt free. she's now saying that she needs time to be alone to think and i understand this and i'm giving her the space, but it's tearing me apart and i really dont know wot to do. and i don't know how much more i can take. please no **** i'm fucked as it is

Answer 1

hey i know exactlly what your both going through, me n my ex went through it for a long time, i loved him totally, but like half the time i felt nothing or revulsion towards him, it was weird i though i was cracking up, but now i know, i didnt love him i probably never had but we eventually had an ugly break up and wev never been happier, we found better people. fukk knows whats going through her mind, but she definitly needs time to think, the best thing for both of you is to be apart, now to deal with this unearthly pain, you gotta get a physical hobby, go to the gym or something start working out, every time you get mad or sad, screw it up inside you then go work it off in the gym, or go for a run, air boxing, or beating the **** into your pillow, its all good.
now it might work out for you 2 but it didnt for me so prepare yourself for the worst, visulaise it, prepare your reaction, so you can be calm and deal with it better.
good luck mate.

Answer 2

Poor you. I'm sorry you've been having problems - there is nothing more painful than a broken heart - I've had my share in my time.

There's an old saying "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was"

I no it's not easy but you seem a really nice bloke and once this initial hurt has died down you WILL find someone who deserves you.

For the time being, let your gf have the space she needs - if she wants to be with you after it then great, if not at least she's being honest to you. Get together with your mates and have a few beers and good times - you will get over this sweetheart. Good luck x

Answer 3

I think you are better off without her, even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. She has clearly been messing around with your feelings for a long time and it's no wonder you finished with her for a while. Nobody deserves to be hurt and upset like they way you are, tell her you can't wait forever for her to decide what she wants because it's causing you too much pain. I personally think she wants the best of both worlds and she thinks she is missing out by being in a relationship. It is most likely that she will go off and do her own thing then in a few months time realise she wants to be with you, then it's your decision if you want her back. In the meantime go out and enjoy your life with your mates and try not to think about it too much. Good luck

Answer 4

I really feel for you my friend as your situation echoes mine two yrs ago. Dont forget that your feelings matter too. I got back together with my gf after we split for a while and it was the worst mistake I have ever made, I had confused love with security. There is a fierce battle between your brain and heart that will cause you much pain. Ask yourself right now if it is really love you feel for this person or the fear of being alone..

Answer 5

Sad as it is mate it sounds like your relationship has run it's course.......

She seems like she doesn't want to let you go and she just needs you as a safety net - maybe you should make a stand and end it as you are the one being messed around.

Possibly after some time apart you might find how much you both need each other and reconcile - if not you need to move on hunni, good luck either way!

Answer 6

Ok hunny.... In this life everythin happends for a reason...
To be honest this space will either make or break the relationship.
You need to give her time and space because otherwise she will feel trapped and try to get out any way she can...
The whole space thing is hard and I can see its hurting you lots ...
But the time apart will give you both time to get yourselves sorted out and let you know what you want...
I hope it sorts out x

Answer 7

sometimes people do need space, to clear their minds and reflect on what it is that they want-which is fine, but after the way she has been treating you it looks to me as though she is doing this because its an easy way out of the relationship. she shouldnt have messed around with your emotions and she is continuing to do this by keeping you hanging on. i think you should tell her how you are feeling, maybe if she realises you are being open and honest with her she will be open with you. tell her that you are feeling terrible and she has made you feel loved one minute and then cast you aside the next. for any relationship to work there HAS to be honesty and trust. although you feel bad at the moment, whatever happens you will feel better.

Answer 8

Evidently she needs the break. She may not feel the same way about you, or she may just want to be sure that she was doing the right thing by being in a relationship. Just give it some time.

Answer 9

Ohhh god poor love...
When a person says they need time to be alone...they mean it
they want space
freedom to be
freedom to think
if you disrupt/disrespect this desire....she will run away forever
you have to go with the flow...let her have her space
I want you to ask her if she going to be doing casual dating (say casual)....so you know if you can do same
do this calmly/as lightly as poss....dont pressure her...just say you wanted to know what the scene was going to be...
I suggest you do casual dating....keep v busy...take up new hobby/extra job/go on hol/away for while....
Last piece of invaluable info...you must tell her...that you WILL NOT...be contacting her again...say if you ever felt like contacting me..you have my mob. If you get this clear at the start..she sure knows the score
please dont wait around forever...and keep your pride
do not chase/interupt her space/or contact her.
space usually means...she crowded out/suffocated/smothered
needs to see how she feels on own...you must respect/accept this. I hope. helps you

Answer 10

As your girlfriend is finding things tough at the moment it would be best for you to give her the space that she needs.
I know it must be hard for you and a very unsettling time.
If you dont give her this space to sort herself out you could actually start driving her further away.
Trust is very important on both sides .
Dont sit around feeling sorry for yourself though .get you out and about with your friends .To take your mind off things.