my 12 yr. old sister-in-law?

Question

i have a 12 yr. old sister-in-law who starts a whole bunch of drama for someone so young. she will get as many people fighting with each other as she possibly can. mainly she does it to me bc unfortunately me n my husband & child live with her. she aggravates my 2 yr. old and pushes her down, pretty much is hateful to her. but tells everyone i do it not her. i get on to her she doesnt listen bc her mom & dad do nothing to her. she doesnt get into trouble for getting drunk at such a young age or anything (someone should seriously call welfare). but right now this is the only place we have to go. what can i possibly do to make the situation with her better and sitting down talking with her does NOT help. it only makes her worse. i understand she is young but she makes my, my husbands, and our daughters lives total hell. please give me advice. (common sense would be to move out but we are looking and dont seem to be finding any thing right away)

Answer 1

Why can't you call welfare anonymously? Other then that, you need to keep looking for a new place. You don't need your daughters looking up to her!

Answer 2

stop being angry and start pitying the poor kid. She is obviously a very unhappy child, and not feeling very loved or wanted right now...she is craving attention and getting it the only way she can...even if it is bad attention, it is STILL attention.

She needs a friend. She needs someone to make HER feel special every once in a while...since her parents aren't

You want the behavior to stop? Then stop getting angry at her for the things she is doing on the surface and start working with her on what is going on inside of her...

have your husband watch your daughter, and once a week same day, same time, go do something special with the 12 year old...just you and her time...and maybe mom if she will come along...be consistent about it - give her something to look forward to - and never use it as a punishment if she does something wrong by taking that time away...it has to happen no matter what...

she is screaming out she needs love...please, give it to her...

Answer 3

Hi Nicole,

Wow...

I think you and your husband need to sit down and talk with with her parents. Her behavior is horrible and its only going to get worse as she gets older. Yes she is young, but she also knows the difference between right and wrong and bullying her niece, getting drunk, and acting like a maniac is definitely not a right decision.

If all fails, you can anonymously call Child Services and report her behavior. Its hard to do but if everything else fails and nobody is taking a step into helping her, that might be your last result.

Do you know if she has an talents or hobbies that she likes to do. You could talk to her and possibly get her enrolled in something positive that would ease the tension in the home.

In the meantime, keep looking for a place. Check online, in the newspapers, call local realtors.

Good Luck...

Answer 4

Is this the first time you've ever been around a twelve year old girl?? Forget the terrible twos - I'll take a two year old any day!!! 12 YO girls are nuts. I think her parents are really stupid to allow her to get drunk or high, but your biggest problem is what influence she may have on your kids. I think the only answer is to get out of there ASAP. Take the kids camping for a month while you find something better, but get out of there.

Answer 5

like you said you need to move out but that can be a challenge in its self...it seems as though she maybe jealous of your daughter even yourself...is she the only girl of the family...having another female around may be making her act out this way...it could also be her age..it seems as though kids are starting to act our a lot younger these days...doing things that most of us didn't to until we reach high school or even older...if her parents aren't doing much to help the situation then not much you can do...the only thing that will make her change is if you can break her..ever person tries to act strong try to make other peoples lives a living hell..but if you can get in them and bring them down reality may bite them in the *** and soon problems will be taken care of...do her parents pay much attention to her..she may even be wanting attention from you and her bro....kids dont just act like this for no reason there is always a reason behind the actions of a person

Answer 6

She feels threatened by your two-year-old. Maybe she was used to getting all the attention from her parents before the grandchild moved in? Ask your husband to talk to his parents about that, I think counseling is in order, so the parents can understand their role in this. Also, of course, you have to move out. Take a six-month lease on a place that's less than ideal and keep looking for something better. You really need to move out.

Answer 7

Drinking??
This girl needs guidance. Tell her she is the role model for your girls and she needs to shape up. She is 12 Make her. Take away every thing you may not be her mother but you are the only adult that cares it seems like. get her involved in a local youth group. Church youth groups always take vacations or trips maybe that would get her interested.
By all means do not let your girls watch this behavior because they will mimic it. Get out of there asap for your own kids future. It's not hard for them to get set in their ways early when they see this going on.

Answer 8

Let your husband handle it with his parents or his sister. Try to keep your child safe and stay out of it.

Answer 9

I would call CPS immediatly. You can do it annoumously. Most importantly you need to find a new place to live.You dont want your kid to think this is the way to behave.

Answer 10

Little witch. Trip her as she walks by and deny it to the death. When she's out mess up her room, if it isn't already. After some time of this tell her privately that you'll stop if she stops. You fight fire with fire.