is it wrong to date or go out with a guy thats 12yrs older? does the guy feel awkward/uncomfortable? i'm 19; he's 31. does he think i'm immature? do you think that he thinks i'd cramp his style -socially amongst his friends? he told me that he doesn't know when i asked him after working with him for a year if he liked-liked me. he said that our hearts are close - whats that mean? he said that i am like his little sister - what on earth is that suppose to mean? i really like this guy, he means the world to me. i feel heartbroken and hurt. when i worked with him it was as though he recharged my batteries - i was so happy full of life, he told me that he also felt that way. he also said which he never brought up in conversation before that he was in a relationship whilst saying that its nothing deep - again what on earth is that? i'm confused and upset - mixed emotions. would like to get deep and thoughtful responses.
2007-06-18 17:29:52 · 10 answers · asked by z 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
remember PEACE. aussie chick signing off.
2007-06-18 19:48:23 · update #1
Buttercup, I was the guy on the end of this situation. Same ages exactly. We don;t think you're immature. We like that you are younger and that you are more than likely attractive. We understand that we are some unobtainable "catch" for you, but in every discussion, we just get closer. We look forward to seeing each other. You look up to us and we adore you. We will go to clubs occasionally. Not to pick up girls if we are eventually devoted to you, but because we are of that age where we can, and our friends like to spend time with us, too. His friends will give him endless crap about dating someone so young, but if you ever get together and they see how much you relaly care about each other, the GOOD friends will be okay with it. BUT, we can't meet them out together at a bar some night. not that we don't want you there, but you can't get in. I can go to a party with you and the people your age and be just proud to be there with you and do my absolute best to fit in, but the guys you're age will judge you more than the girls. There are some things I learned from the wonderful time we spent together. You are going to react to things differently than we will. We have no doubt seen a few more victories and upsets than you have. We love your youthful attitude and optimism, but sometimes we jus won't be as excited about something as you are. And somettimes something will be a big deal to you, but to us, it's an easy answer and not worth even getting all stressed about. That will make you feel like your matters aren't important. My situation, like yours, was a fairy tale on earth. She was my princess and even our families loved the other one. But immaturity on her part won over as, maybe she realized she had lots of boys with younger, more energetic bodies and less serious attitudes that liked her, too. We ended very badly. Nothing with our ages, per se, but the different life experiences that everyone needs to be allowed to live through created some chaos that we made it through for a long time, but couldn't do forever.
2007-06-18 17:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by rlfesty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely nothing wrong with it. My brother's wife is 14 years younger and they are very happy. I think you can both learn a lot from each other.
But there is not enough information to answer this question adequately. Are you from a similar background? Apart from working together do you have other things in common? Are you a "mature" 19 year old or an immature one? How about your potential b-friend?
I dated a 19 year old when I was 30. It was great. I LOVED showing her off to my friends. However, she shared a similarity with you...she was very insecure about her own self worth. When we went to dinner parties she never said a word.
She was however, great in bed. And that was certainly worth it.
The relationship lasted 6 months.
Now when he says that he is in a relationship, he means exactly that. However, he is a man and as a man he would happily have sex with both of you at the same time. (Sorry - that's how we are wired). Go for it - if you are better than she is, you will win. But don't fall madly in love with him, because if it does not work out, you will get f**cked and not just in the way you might want it.
2007-06-19 00:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by Hugh Moore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think your way too young to be going out with a 31 year old. You should date guys around your age. I think he is way too old for you and since he is 31 his relationship with you will move very fast. You may have to marry him at a very early age for you and have kids or whatever he might wanna settle down as an adult. He said he was in a relationship that is nothing deep means he is cheating on you but he has no feelings for that girl. Still cheating is cheating I feel you should find someone else but thats just me.
2007-06-19 00:37:27 · answer #3 · answered by Tommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't give you the respect you deserve, then he is the one who is immature. You will find in adults that age may just be a number and not a true judge on the maturity of a person. You want a lover, not someone who sees you as a sibling. There are great guys out there and don't spend another second with one who disrespects you in any way.
2007-06-19 00:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by Zombie Birdhouse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a guy but my husband is 59 and I am 32. We have our differences but dont we all. We dont feel uncomfortable we just laugh at ignorant people or if someone stares to hard i will do the lip lock and their mouth hits the floor. Sounds like he is trying to let you down easy all he wants is your friendship nothing more. You are reading to much of something that is not there or he needs to mean what he says and say what he means. Be careful
2007-06-19 00:36:46 · answer #5 · answered by thegreathaynes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When guys date a girl thats that much younger.. it's because they DON'T want something serious. They want something young. It makes them feel young. And alive. If you don't want something serious, then this MIGHT be okay. You need to stop worrying about what he thinks about you, you need to figure out if HE is worth YOUR time. Not the other way around. You are worth a lot, and you need to decide if he is worth investing this much emotion into. I really do wish you the best of luck. I just feel that girls these days are not told the truth about men and relationships a lot of the time. God bless!
2007-06-19 00:36:13 · answer #6 · answered by blephelp 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm as long as he treats you as an equal every is fine make sure he does or else you shuld find sum1 else
u dont need 2 b a certain age to luv sum1 luv dusnt hav restrictions
well the lil sister bit depends on what he thinks of his lil sister lol
2007-06-19 00:34:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are only about a year older than me. it's too much. if you two were to get serious, you would realize that you haven't got much in common, even if it seems like you do now. i know because i have two sets of parents and both are far apart in age (7 and 16 years). they don't have much in common with their spouses, and it causes problems.
2007-06-19 00:36:59 · answer #8 · answered by Down with the dcTalk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the age difference isn't really an issue, but he most likely is just using you as the temporary/trophy gf.
2007-06-19 00:40:05 · answer #9 · answered by hulidoshi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I anin't no guy, but girl you just got burned. You are so just friends.
2007-06-19 00:34:18 · answer #10 · answered by TayLynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋