I met my boyfriend June of 2005. We had a wonderful relationship. February of 2006, I found out that I was pregnant and I informed him. The baby was delivered September of 2006 and she came out healthy and strong. From the discovery of my pregnancy to date, he has not proposed. Fellas, after pregnating a female, y wont u propose?????
2007-06-18 17:26:44 · 16 answers · asked by Sidudzile 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Because he didn't have to buy the cow to get the milk. And no, I'm not calling you a cow. I'm saying he could have sex with you and a child and you didn't demand a married commitment first. He doesn't propose because he doesn't have to!
2007-06-18 17:32:23 · answer #1 · answered by amyaz_98 5 · 4⤊ 3⤋
An accidental pregnancy is no reason at all to rush headlong into marriage.
A few decades ago it was, but times have changed, and at least in this case, the change is for the better. Many marriages end in divorice these days, and if you marry only because of the baby, if you fall out of love one of you, at least, will end up resenting the baby because of it, and that is no environment for a child.
Having a baby is hard enough without the added stress of planning a 'shot-gun' wedding, and being forced to start a chapter of your life that you aren't ready for.
I have a 16 month old son, and his father and I are not married, though in our case, we are planning to be.
My boyfriends best friend has a 13 month old daughter, and he and her mother are no longer together in any way. His sister married right out of high school, and is now in the middle of a divorice from the father of her 18 month old.
Another friend of his 'pregnated' a girl, and did marry her, on the advice of both sets of parents. A few months later, the baby was miscarried, and they had the marriage annulled because they didn't really like each other beyond the little 'fling' they had 4 months earlier.
People are single parents all the time, and their children are better off that way than growing up in a home that is lacking love and hostile.
Of course, if you do decide (both of you, not just you) you wish to be married, more power to you!
Good luck, and congrats on your beautiful baby girl!
2007-06-19 00:55:12 · answer #2 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Having children together isn't necessaily a reason to get married. Although in many religions, that would be the "right" thing to do, but marriage is a sacred thing that joins two people together for life and that should be taken very seriously. I'm by no means saying you are not ready to get married to this man, but the only reason shouldn't be because you have a child together. It should be because you couldn't imagine waking up and not seeing his face every morning for the rest of your life, and he feels the same way. It should be because the both of you are ready to fully commit yourselves to eachother forever, not because you feel obligated to get married so your baby has a "real family". I'm sure if your man is happy in your relationship, he will propose eventually, just give him some time. Congratulations on the baby, and good luck in the future!
2007-06-19 00:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by emileegiles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a women's opinion. I don't think a man should have to propose if he gets a girl pregnant. Mistakes happen, but that doesn't mean to two of you are meant to be together. If you never had the baby, would you have ended up getting married. If the answer is honestly, no. Why should that change if you have a baby. You two are not compatible. Why raise a child in a home where the two parents are forced together.
What's important is that the father is this baby's life. If the father is in this baby's life and is well taken care of, that's what's important.
If you two get married, just b/c you had a baby together, you will end up divorced. Don't raise a child in a home full of fighting, yelling and resentment. Raise a baby in a loving home, even if it means they only have one parent or step parents (years down the road)
2007-06-19 00:36:21 · answer #4 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is already connected to you for the rest of his life. You now have a life long commitment to each other in the form of a child.
Getting married would make things easier if you two were to split. He would automatically have to setup child support and other support in the divorce.
Make sure his name is on the birth certificate. Also, you need to discuss a game plan for support (i.e. who pays for what).
He probably doesn't want to get married because he already has the family he wants and doesn't need the stress or expense of a wedding.
2007-06-19 15:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by Smartypants 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess it really depends on your culture and beliefs. Its normal for a woman to bring up a child on her own in the western countries, but for the asians, it is very embarrassing. I am a chinese myself, and I was pregnant before I got married. My boyfriend and I initially only wanted a simple engagement, but both our parents insisted on all the chinese ceremonies and traditional stuff like exchanging gifts and so on. It was troublesome and cost a lot of money, but to them it is what they believe in.
2007-06-19 00:59:19 · answer #6 · answered by serene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because if he only wanted to intercourse from the start rather than any real meaningful relationship building and holding the act sacred to a later date with full knowledge of possible outcome then he wasn't in any mindset at all to do anything besides that which has just happened to begin with. I have no plan of impregnating anyone.
2007-06-19 00:34:59 · answer #7 · answered by Answerer 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
A decent, mature man would have waited to get married before impregnating a woman. And if something were to have happened and she got pregnant before, then a decent, mature man of good character would marry her as soon as he found out - long before the baby came.
I guess you didn't choose very well...
2007-06-19 09:37:24 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldnt push it. My husband and I got pregnant first and had our baby. He didnt propose untill sept 2006 when my daughter was 3. It didnt bother me because I knew it would happen. I think its becoming more common now to have kids before marriage
2007-06-19 00:32:44 · answer #9 · answered by Christina B 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Not a dude, but I can tell you why: the two aren't neccisarily related.
Pregnancy is not your ticket to marital bliss.
Unless he said or implied he wanted to marry, why did you assume he'd ask you to?
2007-06-19 01:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋