What is the nicest way to turn down someone who keeps borrowing money from you...?

Question

There are a couple of people in my office who turn to me for their financial problems. I am single. But It doesn't mean I'm not saving up for my future. I understand their income is way lower than mine (mine isn't a whopper either), but I'm afraid its becoming a habit... And I feel like they see "$$$$" written all over my face....

They pay me back. A tad late that promised though...

Answer 1

Just because their income is lower than yours in no way it means you have to let them borrow money from you.
Sure you can help them, one, two or even three times, but you don't have to allow them to be constantly asking money. They are obviously abusing and are taking advantage of you.
Some people don't realize when they annoying others.
Tell them straight you are not going to allow them to borrow money from you, that you have to save for yourself because you have other important things to do with your money.
If they get mad at you, just stop talking to them.

Answer 2

I was that way for many years myself and I didn't have $$$ written on my face, I had SUCKER written across my forehead and people could read it a mile away.

First of all get a self esteem...you don't have to buy your friendships and your political position at work. You don't have to bring donuts and coffee for the whole crowd every day and you don't have to lend money to anyone.

Next, find your voice. It sounds like you've been as deaf and voiceless as a starfish in your office. Don't be afraid of being a little short and a little rude, they don't care if they are.

Finally, when they ask for money, say "Sorry, I'm broke." If they have a sad story, tell them one of your own and I'm sure you have plenty... some family member was in a car accident and you have to help family first and you don't know where you will find the money to help your own family. Make them understand you have problems and commitments and you don't go to them everytime your family is in trouble. They should get the point. If they don't repeat the same sad story again and again until they do.

Answer 3

My great grandmother had a ton of old sayings, and the one I've practiced the most is, "Never lend books or money, because you'll never get either of them back." Very true. It's good that these people are at least paying you back, but how much longer are you going to do this? Wait until you can't pay YOUR bills because you've given them money?

The next time someone comes to you, say something like, "I'm sorry Mary--I would loan you money, but I was late paying my electric bill last month because I lent you money and you didn't pay me back on time. Sorry." Or you could tell them that you're working on saving money for the future, and you're trying to get out of the habit of loaning it right and left...it draws interest when it's in the bank...not in their pockets. :)

Answer 4

Just say "no". You don't have to do any more than that.
Everyone has choices and should be permitted to live with the consequences of those choices. You are depriving the borrower the dignity of being allowed to screw up.
The borrower resents your financial prosperity compared to their own and makes excuses and blames others for their choices and believes it unfair that the natural consequences of their choices has come due; they want no responsibility and no aversive consequences.
The borrower does not see $$$ on your face they see "SUCKER" on your face. In time their repayment will come slower and slower. They will resent you more and more for the knowledge that they are in your debt and not your equal.
Don't you think it is time to cut bait right now? Isn't it time to let this relationship fade and go away? It is lopsided and you are doing more harm than good by supporting this person's bad choices.
Just say "no". If the borrower can't accept this, they will go away and both of you will be better for the departure.
Good luck. Luck is preparation and the ability to recognize an opportunity.

Answer 5

It seems you've said yes often enough so now is the time to say that you just can't do it anymore. Here is what you need to do: BEFORE they ask for money again approach each of them separately and kindly inform them that you have decided that there is something you want and need to save every dime for which means that there cannot be any further lending of money. Tell them you understand their situations at times and, in the past, you were in a position to help them but now you yourself have got to see to yourself and assure them that you are sure they understand that. THEN STAND FIRM and if they ask remind them that you have explained to them your position. If they insist then it is time to stop being polite and simply say I said no so please do not ask again. DO NOT FALL FOR SOB STORIES! The majority of the time the stories are not true - Also - if a person is unable to live within their means it is usually a sure sign that they have an addiction to something - shopping, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. etc. etc.... If you yourself aren't into any of that then you shouldn't feel bad about not supporting their habits. I am not saying they are addicts just that money problems are often a sure sign of it. Good luck but stand firm and the key here is that you approach them before they ask for money the next time and after they pay you back from the last time.

Answer 6

I think people have a hard time saying "No" to co-workers because they think it will put a strain on their inter-office relationship. That's a valid concern - no one wants to feel like their cubicle neighbor hates them.

The next time you are asked for money, perhaps you could deflect the question by acting embarassed and say something vague about your own financial situation. You don't need to outright lie, just say something like, "You know, I'm a little short this week myself. I had a couple of unexpected expenses this week that really cut into my budget."

If you want to really make it believable, just laugh and say you'll be eating ramen noodles for weeks because it's all you can afford.

It really doesn't matter who makes more money. If they are living beyond their means, it's a problem you can't help them with. The more times people loan them money, the easier it becomes for them to continue a bad pattern, and the more debt they have to try to cover with their next paycheck.

Don't enable them - it's not good for them or for you.

Answer 7

Just tell them sorry but I just am not in the position to help you out financially right now... after a few denials they will quit asking. They evidently believe that you are an caring person and that you are an easy tap for the money. People like that will not stop asking until you turn off the flow of money. Just say NO ;-)

Answer 8

Buy something nice and expensive you have really wanted for a long time. Then don't show it to them for a short while. The next time they want to borrow money from you tell them you are finally buying the -whatever- and that you-re putting your last dime into it. Then show it to them a week later, since you already got anyway. Will work for sure.

Answer 9

Just politely ask them if they can pay you back for the other financial debts they owe you and tell them that you can not financially support them right now because you have your own financial matters that need to be taken care of. It does need to stop though because pretty soon they will take advantage of you.

Answer 10

Say NO firmly. They keep turning to you for their financial needs not because you've got the cash...more of because you allow them to. Say NO the first time, and be persistent about it with any other subsequent requests. You don't have to give a reason at all. It's your possession. You shouldn't have to indulge others who have no idea as to how to manage their own finances. They'll get your drift soon enough.