I'm really freaking tired. What bed time story will you tell me?

Question

Stories from sacred texts make me sleepy.

Answer 1

I will do an Impersonation of Abraham Lincoln reading the Gettysburg Address.

(hang on, gotta wait for my beard to grow!)
Ditto...............

Answer 2

I have one


Once in the golden mountains of Tibet there was a plague and drought sooo massive that the whole clan of tabooeys almost got wiped out... The only thing that saved them was an ancient prophacy come to life... the golden grail. The protector of the grail was a hermit named Chalpaba and he lived in the dark dank cave the twisted and turned high above the wet soil of the ground and deep in the gold lifeless rock. he senced that something was terribley wrong and prayed to the god to the sun for guidance. A bright blinding flash of green illuminated the cave and a boom ecchoed throught the myriad of tunnels. He understood that this meant he must use the grail and mix a special potion to use to cure to plauge. He stumbled out of his cold rocky home and traveled down to a small stream. the fish jumped happily at the new vistiter. He collected some plump juicy berries from a small shrub near by and squeezed its wonderful juice into the grail. He then added water followed by a long incantation. Smoke rose from the grail and it had the power to cure all ales. He later called it.......
.....
.....
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Beer!

Answer 3

How about dark poetry?

--The Welcome Extinction--

I burned bridges, I built walls;
I was arrogance personified.
Full potential reached in solitude;
Creative thought demystified.

With pride my ally, my trusted defense;
The battle plans were formed.
But finding that which dwells within;
Prevents the Destroyer born.

Convinced I was that destiny;
Is as written in stone.
My life's purpose, my omega point;
Will form present from unknown.

To conceive the inconceivable.
To fear again the nights.
Lock all doors and windows folks;
I've harnessed that which bites.

Upon my eyrie, the time draws nigh;
And new formed wings extend;
The dying race, the kingdom cursed.
Will embrace its chosen end.

Amongst my fellow people;
A plaintive voice will mourn.
Yet never a drop of blood is shed.
Never a weapon drawn.

Our planet still bares the scars of greed;
And the fear of the unknown.
But now new life has come again;
Where once we humans did roam.

Answer 4

Read Ecclesiastes. Good story about a guy who had it all in earthly terms but was still discontented.

The key is that 'under the sun' is an idiom for 'without God.'

Answer 5

Darn, I was hoping to tell you a ghost story from Africa. It still frekas me out these days.

Answer 6

In the beginning God..............

Oh you already sleep. Good night then