Are my expectations/standards for the girl I want to high?

Question

I want a girl who listens and accepts me for who I am. We have to share the same interests, she has to be cute ( in my eyes at least( although this is "superficial" but you should be attracted to her at least right?). She has to be chinese ( I'm chinese..) preferably chinese-american so that we share the same cultural experience. I want her to be intelligent and prefer a more private relationship. Not super outgoing and into the whole party scene. I guess this really is it? Maybe when I told other people I had more to say.. but i forgot now. This is the core of what I want. Is this to high?

also .. she has to have a good personality and doesnt just sit there and want to be with me . agood conversationalist.

Answer 1

come on man, you are leaving way too many girls out of your list....

Answer 2

well dont let her ethnicity be a problem. im sure her being chinese would be a plus dont make it a negitive on everyone else either. i say this because your standards on people will tend to dictate how you treat them. if you only treat special people a certain way then people will think differently about you possibly making you unsuccessful.like also if she is outgoing then shes a fun person so i would hope that you want that but i can see where your comming from like maybe you dont want her to "force" your into something you dont want to do. If she likes you for realz then she will respect your wishes. everything else seems solid. i hope your expectations work for you and if not lower them a bit and broaden your horizons then reapply them once your in the relationship (if you still hold on your standards) to ensure that shes a "qualified" girl

Answer 3

well they have to have intelligence..i would agree with you there. but from a girl's point of view i think you should allow more than just chinese-american into your spectrum..maybe you can find someone who likes ur culture and wants to learn more but doesn't have to be chinese. but its not that high of an expectation.

Answer 4

I don't think your expecting too much honestly. The fact that you know what you want is a step in the right direction. Your not asking for perfection, your asking for someone who will be compatible with you. The fact that you know what your looking for means when you do find her, you won't be expecting her to change for you and to me that is a good thing. Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

I've heard it suggested on many occasion from knowledgeable people to make or have in mind the qualities that you are interested in in a girl.

If your list is as specific as yours it might just take a bit longer to find her. As long as you're willing for that.

Your standards are not too high. I suggest at the same time to be open minded though to possible revisions in your list as you mature more in your life and gain more experiences. The list you have up to this point is based on your experiences up to this point, and doesn't sound too bad. But, you're still a young, relatively. Just don't lock your list from possible future enlightenments. And also:

I suggest that as you are looking gfor this girl to at LEAST not completely shut out any "non-matching" girls that try to engage your interest along the way. (I'm not sure but I think that can be a reason why many people stay single for as long as they do--a theory to contemplate anyhow, explanation woven into the text below). At least give them some mild degree of consideration, including those poor ugly girls. They were born that way what can they do? Most of them already realize that they're likely to not win 'Don Juan', and that they might spend their life single, and so won't pressure you, and often won't even engage you. For instance I at least chat with ugly girls. If you open the door for one they're not going to suddenly think you're in love with them. They'll just appreciate it, and gain some faith in human capacity for kindness. (And now you're developing a nobility of character that your future wife will likely appreciate, etc.). Don't lead these "non-matching" girls on too much of course, but don't give them absolutely zero time-of-day either. That's not so nice, m? You'll be building your spiritual attractiveness, augmenting your character, and you're not going to break any hearts as long as your signals are clear. And you're getting used to meeting the women so you won't be afraid to say hi to the next one that seems she might be it, and then be kicking yourself for it later but its too late. If the woman is not so mature, or has a psychological issue then maybe you'll get into trouble. But that's life. And those are realistically a small percentage.

It can be challenging when "non-matching" girls become smitten with us, but really it's not so big a deal. They likely get back over it after not too long of a time (my experience), and we can just be polite and normal, avoid sending signals that will lead them on, and that's that. If they're not deranged or psychotic then that will work. So now we're not so iffy about interacting with people, and now it's more likely that we will meet more people and will find the one that we had in mind.

Much of what I said here is very hypothetical. I'm still working on the issue myself. As you see I think alot.

Answer 6

performs with their youthful siblings ( in the event that they have them) shows self belief, yet not over flashy Stands up for his or her acquaintances/lady chum/overwhelm knows a thank you to lead them to snicker Leaving a observe or present of their locker/bag (not interior the obsessive stalker style of way) shows their delicate element. Hugs from in the back of (in case you're already relationship) Being their for her.

Answer 7

No not at all! I have a list of everything actually written down..even little things. If you don't know what you want how will you know when you find it?

Answer 8

i think thats fine and youll find that gil eventually except for maybe the chinese part i mean does race really matter??

Answer 9

It's fine to have expectations of your "Dream Girl" - but don't eliminate the rest of them just because they don't live up to EVERY single one of your "qualifications"...

In reality, you will know when you have met your "Real" dreamgirl - and chances are, she won't live up to your list either ;)

Answer 10

Too high!