help me plz with my ex gf?

Question

been split now for nearly 8 months and in that time ive had no contact or even seen her...we were together for 2 years the reason we split was because my family gave her a hard time and she thought i was changing witch i must admit i was....but ive found myself now and am in the british army and she said while we was together she would be so proud of me if i got in....so am thinking of reappearing at her house while on leave from the army!!!
but am lost into how to reappear at her house (flowers,army uniform,choco's,)
any ideas would be great guys cheers !!!

Answer 1

What I'm gonna tell you is way different from what I teach others.
(To see that for yourself, check my other answers to singles and dating questions)
I'm a dating coach not a relationship doctor.
And I believe you should have put your question under the "General-Family and relationship" category.
But I'm gonna answer your question cause you've pointed one my favorite issues.
What to give to women when you've been with them for LONG ENOUGH....The long enough term is very important in here.
Here you've been with her for 2 years.
That makes it long enough.
8 months is a too long period of time for not having any contacts.
I'm gonna tell you what you shoud do.
But before I do that, I'm gonna share a very important concept with you.

Did you know that women communicate with a language different from ours?
Yes they use the same English words sa we do but they mean way different from what we mean.
An old example is:
A woman says: "You are really manly"
Translation: "You stink sweat like a pig.You need get your a*se washed more frequently"

So what is the relation?
What you are gonna give your ex-girlfriend who is hopefully your girlfriend to be, communicates a subtle meaning too.

So you must be very carefull about WHAT you are gonna give her and HOW you are gonna reappear.

Firstly put on your army uniform and make sure they are clean and smell great.
Wear some nice perume with warm scent.
Don't get there with Chocos.Casue they are interpreted as too pushing, too friendly and expecting an invitation into the house and probably into the bedroom.
Not a good idea for the first make up apology meeting.
Instead get her a bunch of flowers with a hand written card or letter. Put as much effort as you can on the hand written letter. It sure pays off. Do it in a nice classic hand writing.
If she's a kinda romantic and classy girl(I think she is one.I can feel it from your story), the red roses would work great.
If she's not that romantic and she's a bit of a wild girl, then choose yellow.
ATTENTION: Yellow flowers could be interpretad as farewell.Although you've already been away for 8 months, It still can cause a bad interpretation.So if you are carrying the yellow flowers, you must be a bit suggestive when at her doorway.
If she accepts the flowers with a nice comment and invites you in, she's open to you and WANTS to get back with you.

If she accepts the flowers with a usual comment and keeps you at the door and talks to you, she actually likes to get back to you but she's still indecisive and you need to work a bit harder.

If you get the door slammed on you without the flowers being accepted,Then you have two options. If you think she's been right, then just leave the flower on the steps and leave.But if you think she's too much, then slam the flowers to the door, tear the letter and give a finger salute and leave.

Here I'll assume she invites you inside the house.
Do not mention you are in the army.Trust me, she's not blind.She can see your uniform.
So don't talk about it unless she asks you about it.
When she asked, tell her about it and say one of the reasons you've done that was HER.
Be a good listener there.
Pay attention to WHAT she says and RESPOND accordingly.
Don't initiate any kiss all of a sudden.
You must make her ready.
If you notice she's comfortable around you, then go for a kiss.
Here is the way I've taught a clueless kid how to kiss without the risk of rejection.
It was not voted for the best answer which p*ssed me off.
Check it out.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Avlj1h5BB8Hqr1fLBLOLz7Lty6IX?qid=20070611175546AAk6Gdf&show=7#profile-info-OlOjdl7Laa

If she rejected the kiss, it doesn't mean that everything is over.It just means "NOT YET". Proceed on talikng and keep her interested to your words. Then we you felt it is time, again go for the kiss test and make the process a bit longer.
After you kissed her, SLOWLY shift the tone of your voice from apologetic into friendly.

Then Just follow your gut and you'll be fine.

Best of Luck!

Answer 2

How does a person answer this question with risking the chance of hurting someone and be honest at the same time?You can't, so I'm going to share my feelings from experience and hope this helps you. First of all,* months is a very long time without any contact. Time has a way of healing pain. next, Just because you found yourself doesn't mean she hasn't found someone else especialy if she felt betraied by you for not standing up for her (women don't let that go real easy) Worse yet....what if you show up on leave and her new man answers the door? if your being realistic, there's always that chance. I think I would call her before you wast your leave and see where she's comming from and then concider showing up with all the goodies. Mostly, TALK to her and convince her that you are the only one for her. After two years, you'll know what she's feeling (Or not) Here's a Question for you...Did you join up to prove something to her? wrong move partner. I've seen more heartbreak hotels join the army and regret it later after finding out that he has lost her for good. I don't mean to hurt your feelings and I truley hope you can get her back but make sure your getting her back! what she is and what she was is two different things. All the goodies are great and there's a place for them but the main goal is to re-bond and develope your trust all over again. I truly hope you can make things right but for your sake, leave up atleast one wall and let her slowly tear it down.

Answer 3

Flowers would be nice, but not roses. They are Love. Well red roses are. I think yellow is friendship. I would appear and let her know you remembered her and that her words of being proud of you for making it stuck in your head and ears. Don't be surprised if she is with someone. Whether it be boyfriend or married. I think in your uniform with flowers and maybe a thank you card would be perfect. If she isn't with anyone and you do get back together, don't let family get involved this time. You both are adults. Congratulations and Good Luck.

Answer 4

If you were with her for 2 yr, then you must remember a favorite flower, or candy, or wine, or whatever. I would show up in uniform and bring one of her favorites to show that you still remember her favorites and you remember her. Even if you 2 don't get back together, you would have a nice visit. and she would remember you all her life.

Answer 5

Flowers, chocolates are cheesy. turning up in your uniform would be good (I love a man in uniform!!) but if you were to do that it would need to be you on the way home from the army. dont just wake up one day get dressed in it then go over. thats silly. if not just sow up in casual clothes, and tell her what you've been up too. show up as a friend that wants to catch up. and let it work itself out from there.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Come with a loving heart , passion and something she dears truly , like an army chain that may have meant alot to you , or some gift you know she loves , adores.
Like , if you remember her favorite colr , shape , or something , then get her something in that color or shape , etc. she wont care about the gift , but that you where thoughtful to remember the color or the shape.
The little things are what we girls care about.

Answer 7

umm get her a nice bunch or flowers nd write her a song or a poem involvin how much u need her to b in ur life. how much she means to u nd how u cant live wid out her. nd yeah go there wid u head held high nd in ur uniform nd her rents will then pro acept u good luck nd hav confidence!

Answer 8

My suggestion for you is to hunt for God's be conscious and convenience via reading the Bible and praying together with her for her and your toddler that includes your suited kin and closest acquaintances. perhaps there is an area church you would be able to desire to drop in on. attempt out some distinctive chuches till you sense maximum comfortable and then "carry out" there. you will discover others in want of convenience and it will assist you to help others.

Answer 9

she is ur ex-gf...do u still have feelings for her? if u do then give her flowers . flowers will be great but if u dont have anymore feelings for then why appear at her house? u could just give her a call....well..its my opinion.. good luck though!

Answer 10

just to see you i do not think you need extra's ya she may be hurt --you sound like you realy like her alot the family does not haft to sleep with her or do for her she makes you happy not the family -------you could keep her a a distance from the family and that way you got both the girl and family