My friend is getting married in 3 weeks. I planned a dinner for her with a little group of friends to get together before her big day. (Please keep in mind, we are not too thrilled about her decision to marry her fiance-he's cheated on her numerous times.) She recently sent out announcements to some, but not all, of us. Needless to say, those who didn't receive an announcement, understandably, no longer want to attend dinner. I'm stuck...I feel like the middle man once again. Please help.
2007-06-18 13:45:24 · 8 answers · asked by tan_girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Why is she sending out the invites?
As much as the fiance may suck, it's your friend. You need to support her.
Make some cute invites, send them out via mail, and carry on with the bridal shower.
2007-06-18 13:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Kayla Arielle M. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stick to your plans. For some reason there was a breakdown in communication. People should not have been told of the dinner until the fact that they were invited to the wedding was confirmed by the bride and the bride should have given you a heads up.
Of course, if someone was expecting an invitation and did not, they would probably not feel inclined to attend a dinner party for the bride.
If you have already "invited" these people, then when they decline simply tell them that you completely understand and that you feel badly that there was a misunderstanding about the guest list.
If you haven't invited anyone yet, then only invite those that were invited to the wedding. You could call the others if you are close to them and just ask them if they would like to be invited to the dinner anyway. Some may, some may not.
And the bride should explain to those that expected a wedding invitation why they did not receive one.
Don't feel caught in the middle, and don't mentally put yourself there or people will perceive you as such.
You're just trying to do a nice thing for a friend, and her issues are hers, not yours. If someone doesn't like that they weren't included in the wedding invitations, they should take it up with the bride. The dinner is a separate event.
2007-06-18 21:39:44 · answer #2 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are stuck in the proverbial "Rock and a Hardplace" here! Don't force anyone to attend anything they don't wish to. If they cannot honestly wish the bride their best then it probably would not be the best for the bride anyways. And keep in mind that even though we would like the entire world to attend our wedding, she may have had some budget cuts and had to pick only the nearest and dearest to attend due to her budget.
For those of you that are attending the dinner, just try to remember that you are her friend and will stick with her through thick and thin. Even if you do not approve, you are her friend and only wish her happiness and the best. For the day give her both of those and give her fiance the benefit of the doubt that marriage will settle him down from his prowling ways. If it does not, you will be there for her then too. But, do not ruin her day - after all she did choose you all to be there to celebrate with her what is supposed to be the happiest day in her life. So make it that for your friend! And no mentions of cheaters at the dinner either. You girls make it a memory she will not forget even if she ends up forgetting hubby very quickly! Best of luck and have fun!
2007-06-18 20:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by phxmilitarymom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would feel the same way as some of your friends. If the bride could not send me a wedding announcement, I don't believe I would care to participate in her bridal shower.
2007-06-18 21:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a little confused. What you are describing doesn't sound like a bridal shower (because that would entail gifts), but like a bachelorette party where you all have a few drinks with dinner.
If it is a shower, don't invite people who just got "announcements" that means that they were not invited to the wedding. It's tacky to be invited to a shower, but not a wedding.
If it is a bachelorette party, then invite as many ladies as you want and try to have a good time for your friend's sake. Good luck!
2007-06-18 21:03:29 · answer #5 · answered by dice 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Makes no sense - she sent out announcements of what?
2007-06-19 10:25:29 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually a bride does nothing in regards to her bridal shower, people set it up for her.
i think you need to talk to her, tell her about the people she did not invite, there must be a reason
2007-06-18 21:03:35 · answer #7 · answered by Christina V 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just go ahead and do it. Doesn't mean you condone her decision, you're just being a dependable pal.
2007-06-18 20:50:09 · answer #8 · answered by beanie_babymama 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋