Whats wrong with a nice respectable guy?

Question

so every friend that is a girl that i have says im an awesome guy who knows how to treat a lady w/ respect yet does not wanna go out w/ me at all, they all just wanna be friends with me. so they choose to go out w/ guys that dont respect them or treat them badly (not all of them do this). i know that girls wanna go out w/ a bad boy and that im the type of guy that they would marry. but i would like to have some experience in my life before i get married.

dont get me wrong im still really outgoing and stuff like that it just doesnt come out when it involves girls and i dont let people walk all over me and use me.

so i was wondering why do some girls go out w/ a guy that doesnt respect her or a guy that treats her bad? why dont they pick the "nice guy"?

Answer 1

Because those women are stupid.

Answer 2

First of all, at 31, you are still in your youth. Second, your younger years were not wasted since you focused on your studies and your career, and you have a great job now. Also you stayed away from STDs and other complications that could have occured if you had sex with random strangers. Just because you were turned down by girls previously, does not mean things will stay this way. With age, comes maturity and confidence, and a person's attitude and personality improve to the better. Don't assume that all girls who agree to go out with you now, are only after your money. Maybe you are one of those people who became more attractive and charming as you got older. At 31, trust me, you still have a high chance of meeting someone nice who didn't sleep around and doesn't have baggage, and who will be compatible with you. Just keep a positive attitude, and believe that a nice person like you will land a nice person too. Best of luck!

Answer 3

There was this guy who liked me..he was funny, smart, cute...all that good stuff. The only reason why I didnt want to date him ( I felt bad, b/c he was a great guy) was b/c he wasn't adventerous or had that wild side. I like guys who are spontaneous. I dont like guys who drink or smoke, but I want that adventure.

Autembrook you are way off in your answer. That is not true. If a father abuses their wife or daughter verbally/physically then she will want a better life and choose a better guy. I dont have a strong relationship with my father, but Im mentally strong and only deserve the right man. Im not going to go for an obnoxious loser, Im going for a well-rounded, charming and intelligent man.

Answer 4

I don't know either, since I skipped that part of life. I will tell you want I do know, though...it's the same reason why guys will run after total *****. It's the chase that's exciting, not the prize. If a girl or guy can make themselves look like something worth it, well, then plenty of people will chase them.

Be more affectionate to your target girl...and maybe Cupid'll lend you a hand.

Answer 5

This question is asked very often, and to so little benefit of those who asked.

No matter how smart, intelligent and developed a woman is, attraction is based (not entirely, but in part) on instinct and genetically-wired, unconscious criteria.

Women are attracted to men for certain reasons and they go through a specific sequence internally when they are attracted to a man -- there is a system, a code if you will.

Part of the reason they're attracted to the "bad boys" is because these men fall into the more dominant male category.

A woman wants an aggressive, powerful man in control of himself, his reality, and -- her. She would never admit it, but lots of times this is the case. This is why women can be so attracted to dominant male types -- the unconscious part of their brain tells them that it's something they want. This is how it is with every species on the planet. Sometimes, a woman just wants to be slammed up against a wall and screwed. "Nice guys" are less likely to do such things. This isn't my opinion. This is how it is. Prove me wrong.

Another part of it is that they believe they can fix him -- they love a fixer-upper. This also may satisfy an instinctual, maternal feeling of being a mother-like figure to these men -- they believe that they can (rather, want) to mold them and make them just the way they think a man should be, the "prince charming" they're told they want from childhood. And, of course, it never happens. Their sense of accomplishment is never achieved and the relationship (or their "challenge, project") ends badly. Most of these guys are screwed in the head, to employ the clinical term, and to be able to provide comfort and "protection" to them is sort of a role-reversal. The man emotionally needs the woman. This satisfies her need to be needed, as well.

My opinion is that women believe on a genetically and socially-programmed, unconscious level that these men are more able to give them the lifestyle -- and most importantly -- give them the FEELINGS that they want. A woman (generally speaking) desires a man that fits into her self image fantasies that have been forming since she was very young. And, thanks to farking Disney, these fantasies have been embedded even further than her genetic wiring ever intended.

Overall, the answer is to realize that powerful, dominant guys have the advantage at the beginning from their familiarity and assumed, projected positive traits.

Eventually, they will want to connect more with a man on an emotional level (if they don't want to do so already). The good news is that while women are interested in looks to some degree, they are MORE interested in how you make them feel.

To most "hot" women, their reality is that "nice guys" kiss up to them and that they will give them what they ask for or demand (worst case, they have to get upset or act bitchy to get their way). AGAIN, THIS IS THEIR REALITY. Men that don't fit this are often just tuned out as if they didn't exist in order to keep this reality as pure as possible for them.

"Nice guys" are often behaving like a** kissers because they are afraid that a woman might get upset and leave, and the fact is that by acting this way, a woman is MORE likely to leave. "Bad boys" don't do this. They're more attracted to the bad boys, in some cases, because they know they can't stomp all over his guts, too.

The solution is to NOT kiss a** or do things for them like everyone else. Be different in a preferential way. Expect them to pull their own weight, call them on all of their issues and messed up behaviors just like you would a guy friend or family member (use the same "you're my friend and I'm
saying this for your benefit" tone that you'd use with a friend), tease and make fun of their insecurities, etc.

The fact is that women will date push-overs who kiss their
a**es and model-handsome guys who don't treat them well to satisfy their PHYSICAL drives.

But overall, an average looking man that takes good care of
himself and makes enough money to live comfortably who is cocky, direct, challenging, confident, funny, and in control -- one who challenges her constantly and never kisses her a**, EVER -- will be FAR more fulfilling to a beautiful woman than the other types. You can still be a nice guy -- but if you don't want to be their friend, don't act like it. The idea is to get her to say, "Wow, /this/ sure is different." It'll win her fascination.

Stop doing the "I'm courting you" things early on, and start by being attractive, interesting and sexy. This puts the balance of power in your hands, and puts you more in control.

Answer 6

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a nice respectable guy. Please stay way. Low self-esteem is the reason women go for the bad men. Not all women have low self-esteem though so be patient and you will meet someone that falls in to the latter category.

Answer 7

nothing at all... Trust me i know how you feel i went throughh 5... 5 different crushes and its the fifth who said yes. you have to make yoursell at the very least notciable, though they like a guy with respect but they like a guy whos fun to. Keep doing what you're , your're much better than all the jerks out there. (by the way do you think 5 crushes is alot to have by the 8th grade, 1 in 1st grade-3rd,1 in 4th, 1 in 5th,1 in 6th-7th,1 in 8th) the one in 8th grade said yes.

Answer 8

How old are you please? Just curious...

Do you need experience before you get married? Maybe some of these women don't want to be that "experience", but that wife. Be consistent, respectful and honest with the women that you meet. Hopefully, you will meet one that is looking for that in her life. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

Maybe it is because you are so "nice" that you come across as a pushover. If you are constantly doing whatever other people want, then you seem either weak, desperate for a date, or just manipulative.

Women expect a man to have opinions of his own, and to occasionally say no to her, and to stand for for himself whenever she is acting bad.

And many bad boys project confidence by acting as if they didn't care what other people thought of them. And they tend to be unpredictable and suprising, which many nice guys seem to lack.

Answer 10

i think most women....fall for guys that are complete losers and treat them horribly because somehow...they don't really think highly of themselves....often times their dads were either out of the picture or extremely neglectful or abusive therefore they are attracted to similar qualties in men because thats all they've been shown...even though it's painful to see...theres not much you can do...some women will break the cycle and others won't...

if you're one of the nice guys...stay that way..and perhaps one day you'll be able to conquer one of these girls and be their night in shinning armor....but be fore warned...your heart will be broken...

Answer 11

bcuz maybe they feel like its more daring/adventurous to go out with a 'bad boy'. i dont know, tbh. i dont go for the 'bad boys' but i suppose others do.
really just try to concentrate on following your heart, you'll find someone out of the blue and you wont have to be any person you're not..you'll know when you find them:)

best of luck.