Do any other athiests?

Question

feel deeply offended when going to the funeral of a person who was close to you, and are forced to hear religious trash? I think Athiests are, by nature, unusually tolerant. But do you think that in all fairness, our views are not as respected as they should be in the US?

I recently attended the funeral of an old friend of mine. He was a sniper for a while in the special forces. The experience drove him nuts, and he eventually commited suicide. At the funeral, there was of course a bunch of military pomp, which i resented, since that was somewhat the CUASE of his death, and there was a bunch of religious crap. Of course, i decided to bear it and play along, for the sake of his family. But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered, why should I be the one who has to play along? Do any athiest agree this is a raw deal for us?

I wouldnt mind so much if it was random, but I couldnt help but think it was US religion nuts that indirectly killed him...and christianity even damns him for his suicide.

Answer 1

I'm so offended by the religious crap at funerals, I simply don't go to them -- not ever. If my wishes are properly followed, I'll even be buried without a funeral.

Answer 2

OK, I am an agnostic, but I'll answer anyway. No, I am not offended, the funeral should reflect the beliefs of the deceased, and hopefully, those who planned the funeral, will have planned the funeral in accordance with what the deceased would want. It is not about trying to please all the funeral go-ers.

For me to be offended about religion at someone else's funeral would be like a theist complaining that a memorial service for an athiest made no mention of God.

Same with weddings. If a couple wants a religious ceremony, they should have one. They shouldn't poll the wedding guests, and try and come up with a wedding ceremony that won't offend anyone.

If you want your views to be "respected" than you need to start by respecting others views. (even then, it will be difficult, because by and large Americans are still very, very bigoted against Atheists.) Expecting someone to censor the religious aspect of a funeral on the off chance that a thin-skinned atheist will be offended is not showing much respect. You are NOT forced to "hear religious trash". If the funeral is being held at a church, either expect to hear "religious trash" or don't go if it bothers you that much.

Answer 3

I don't think you or anyone else has the right to complain about how another person chooses to have their own funeral. If you were going to be that offended you should not have gone.

I have been to several funerals almost all of which contained some religious reference. That is the tradition of funerals. You were not forced to go, and I find it amazing that you can call yourself an Atheist and yet be so petty and selfish.

Oh well, it takes all kinds.

Answer 4

I expect a funeral to reflect the beliefs of the deceased person, not mine. I wouldn't even care if there were religious themes at my own funeral, as I will be dead and gone. I would expect my family to follow my personal beliefs, though.

As for all the rest, I have no problem hearing and considering the religious opinions of others, as long as they are willing to hear and consider my opinions as well. I don't see that very often, though. Assuming people are Christian just doesn't fly anymore.

I definitely understand what you are saying.

Answer 5

No, I don't. Except in my Uncle Stan's case. He left the church late in life and left implicit instructions against having a religious funeral. The family gave him one anyway, to make themselves feel better. Had nothing to do with what he wanted. That offended me. Any other time, at funerals, I kinda tune everything out and look at the architecture.

Our views on anything will never be respected here. You just have to roll with the punches.

Answer 6

Our views are not as respected. It is ok for a religiouss person to send you religious material and we should just take it. But if we send them atheist material we "don't respect their religiou" I think it is a two way street. I won't push mine if you don't push yours. But about the funeral if the person was religious that died then it is their funeral. But there better not be any religious crap at my funeral!!

Answer 7

Yeah but if that's what the person wanted then i suppose you can't do much.

What REALLY bugs me is when people knock on my door and say "have you welcomed christ into your life?"

People should believe what they want to believe but if i went door to door telling people that none of it's real and god doesn't exist that would be seen as offensive

I'll agree with the respect issue that's starting too. If we have to respect that people believe so strongly in god why can't they respect that some people feel equally strongly the other way.

Answer 8

completely agree... for some reason it's a sin to not believe in god. i could care less is someone converted to atheistism. everyone is entitled to their own religious beliefs and i have no right to say that they shouldn't believe in "god". with that said, no i don't get offended during funerals when i'm forced to listen to religious trash. although, i will say that i refuse to pray. i'll look down but will not pray.

Answer 9

My dad was too tired and distressed to sort out a secular funeral for my mum when she dies so we ended up going with a church funeral and it made me angry as hell with all the bs I had to listen to. It wasn't what she would have wanted at all.

Answer 10

I am getting a distinct sensation of deja-vu with this question...it's weird.

Yes, I was really upset by some of the awful Christian hymns my Christian deacon brother-in-law chose and that we were expected to sing at my Mothers funeral, it was inappropriate, I didn't know any of them and neither did the rest of my family, it was awful.