I have a friend who was married last summer is already going through a divorce. I'm getting married in Sept. and would like to include her in my wedding, even though I wasn't in hers. I'd like her to do a reading. Even though it isn't the role of a bridesmaid, is it tacky for me to ask her to be in my wedding while she's going through so much right now??? Any advice/opinions would be greatly appreciated!!
2007-06-18 10:19:55 · 17 answers · asked by gliterquen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you're very good friends with her, explain exactly what you just said. "I know you're going through a lot right now, but I would love it if you could do a reading at my wedding. If you'd rather not, I understand, but please think it over" something to that effect. Even if she says no, she'll know that she means a lot to you!
2007-06-18 10:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is wrong at all to ask her to be in the wedding and also do the reading as long as you approach the question in a sensitive way. Just let her know how much you would like her to be a part of the event, acknowledge the possibility that she might feel uncomfortable with that role, and let her know that you would understand if she declines. In fact, if the two of you are really good friends, it may seem more tacky if you DON'T ask her. I think it is important to realize though that your friend may be fairly disillusioned with marriage and she might not add the kind of enthusiasm to your wedding that you may be looking for. For this reason, you may want to point out how important a positive attitude is on your wedding day. If she is a good friend, she will decline if she thinks she can't put any negative feelings aside and support you on your big day.
2007-06-18 10:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by deepwaterspirit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a reading is a great idea because there isn't a whole lot of committment that goes along with it. It is an honor but you don't have to get a bridesmaids dress and you can do your reading and go back to being a guest at the wedding. Don't be offended if she doesn't want to do it though. B/c of the divorce it may be hard for her to get up in front of a lot of people at a wedding, and some people have public speaking issues.
2007-06-18 11:17:40 · answer #3 · answered by JM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong, but it might be very emotional for her.
I would sit and talk with her about it; tell her that since she is your friend you would love to include her in the wedding somehow, possibly a reading, but you weren't sure how she would feel about this considering all she is going through right now. Let her make the decision. Reassure her that you completely understand if she does not feel up to it.
2007-06-18 10:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by valschmal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your friend and you want her to be a part of your special day I should think she'd be flattered. Just let her know that you would love for her to be in your wedding, but that if she feels she has a little too much on her plate right now that you understand.
2007-06-18 10:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by Zarango 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hope that your friend is your friend because she genuinely loves you and wants you to be happy. If that is the case, then I would definately want her to do the reading. I know it's an iffy subject, but I think as a friend, she should be able to put aside her situation and be happy for you , and that includes doing the part you want her to do in your wedding.
2007-06-18 10:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by chloe1995 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it would not be tacky. It would be keeping it real about how you feel about her as well as her situation.
Ask her/explain and let her decide if she can or wants to do it. Graciously thank her no matter what her answer is and move on with the wedding.
2007-06-18 10:34:44 · answer #7 · answered by GERALD S. MCSEE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is a good enough friend for you to want her to do something in your wedding then I think she is a good enough friend for you to talk to her about it. approach it in a way that lets her know you really want her to do it, but that you will understand if she just doesnt think she is up to the task and will not be offended if she says no.
2007-06-18 10:38:25 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be open to a number of reactions. She might be relieved to still be included in her friend's celebrations. Or she might be really against the institution of marriage at this point. Don't take it personally if she says no.
I wouldn't consider it tacky. Just don't ask her just to play therapist. Ask her because she really is a good friend.
2007-06-18 10:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by Book0602 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her you would like her to be in your wedding and what you would like her to do, but you don't want her to feel uncomfortable or have any sadness. Tell her it wont offend you if she doesnt want to and that you totally understand. She'll know if she thinks she can handle it emotionally and will appreciate your thoughtfulness of wanting to include her and also in understanding your emotional feelings right now. Congrats on your marriage.
2007-06-18 10:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a reading Would be good!! I mean It will get her mind off of things and If she starts to cry it will not be in front of everyone!!
2007-06-18 12:05:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋