I feel phoney?

Question

At work puting on a face..A happy positive face when really I just want to hide. I can't appear depressed because it's 'socially unacceptable' to be depressed. God! I feel so fake.

Answer 1

I have fake boobs. LOL
Lighten up things get better with time.

Answer 2

At the workplace, technically all are strangers - the only reason you want to put up your positive face - why should others be bothered about your internal problems. That's between you and your family or close ones. I personally consider it an irresponsible decision, if I have to break out before my colleagues at work. I tell myself - they are colleagues with their own set of problems - that's it. That's the minimum inconvenience one has to pay to appear socially acceptable enough.

That doesn't mean you have the heart made of a rock - of course, don't shy away from the fact that you're human like the rest and you need a shoulder to lean on, or find some close ones around you who can lend a helping hand. Cry in your private if needed - I've tried it before being a muscular, beefy man lemme tell you - BOYS SHOULD CRY sometimes, even if alone - it eases a lot of burden.

I always reconcile myself with the fact that there are people in this world, unhappier than me. It always works and springs me back to action.

As for my outside image, we all have to be phoney - that's the way the world works.

Answer 3

You are not fake. You are a real human being. That is normal and natural.

I understand that delima. Unfortunately I don't really have a "quick fix" or "cookie-cutter" solution. But I can say that everyone goes through that to some extent or another. No one is happy and positive all of the time. If we were perfect, we would be, but no one is perfect. We all have our bad days and times when we want to hide or at least just get away. Don't beat yourself up about it and don't let the devil condemn you for it (he tries that on everyone). Instead, find a time and place when you can be all alone and spend some time alone with God. Share everything with Him and invite Him to spend time with you, work with you, heal you, and turn your hurt into joy. God does do that. It is possible to live in His joy and peace and be happy. Just remember it is a working process. It takes our entire life on earth to complete it. God is patient, forrgiving and loving with us, but we often forget we need to be patient, forgiving, and loving with ourselves too.

Best of luck and many blessings.

Answer 4

Depressed people tend to depress those around them. If you are just unhappy because you have to be at work, then find a job that makes you happy. If something happened to make you unhappy then maybe you should take a few days off work to relax and get things in order.

Answer 5

Don't put on an act for other people. This will not help you. I don't know if you are a Christian or not, but I know when I am depressed that I find comfort in Jesus. I read the Bible dayly and find that many people there have gone through what you and I have gone through. God did not leave them or forsake them. It was them who took thier eyes off God.

Answer 6

You know all those other coworkers with pleasant expressions? They're doing the same thing you are. Buck up and stop feeling sorry for yourself, or at least realize you are part of the secret Misery Club at work.

Answer 7

I faked it for a long time too before I finally went to a doctor and got help. I feel your pain.

Answer 8

Hey Celt:

I understand how you feel. I have been there most of my life and I still find myself going back to using that defense mechanism

It's not health to do at all, what about talking about it with a therapist?

Be safe and be well

Answer 9

Yeah, I know its annoying. I guess just rather than look happy try to just look "busy" and then everyone will steer clear of you for that day. But I guess this all depends on what type of job you have.

Answer 10

EVERYONE is fake on some level at work. We are all just trying to get through the day.

Answer 11

Just consider it doing your job. Work isn't wear we come to let it all hang out and be "real". It's wear we work. If your job requires of you a cheerful disposition, then it's no different than cleaning a table. Be a moribund SOB when you get home again. ;-)