divorce party etiquette?

Question

What is the etiquette for a divorce party? I am invited to one by a dear friend who is in her late 50s. The divorce was terribly painful.

I don't know if I am supposed to bring a gift, a card and, if so, what is suitable? Something wishing her well in this new phase of her life?

I searched yahoo answers and found suggestions for games, dirty jokes, etc., but that's not my style at all, or hers. I am saddened by her divorce; I have known them both for a long time and was at their wedding. I guess I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Thanks for any advice you can offer.

Answer 1

The party is part ofher personal healing process. She is trying to mark surmounting this milestone in her life.

Bring a Bottle of wine to the party and a pretty little handwritten card that says something to the effect of "I admire the strength you have shown through this difficult time" and that's about it.

How you feel toward a marriage, or the termination of a marriage is kind of immaterial. Being an Ex-wife myself, I can tell you that most of my friends never knew anything was wrong with my marriage. We both went to great effort to keep our problems behind our doors and to not let anyone into our little marriage world. Mostly because we felt it wasn't anyone's business. The intimate details of a marriage are between husband and wife.

The best thing you can do is be supportive and loving and a good friend. If you can't manage that, then you should politely send your regrets.

Answer 2

Divorce Party Gifts

Answer 3

A divorce party is a fairly recent event and many people will be appalled by it. Personally, I think it is good to celebrate a new beginning. Just send out invites saying your divorce just came through so you would like them to come celebrate your single status redux, that you need some cheerring up (even if you are happy about it, you don't want to belittle the time and effort you invested in the marriage) from your friends. If asked, tell them to bring something everyone there can share immediately since you don't need more stuff (right now). It should be joyous and fun.

Answer 4

while i feel divorce parties are the epitamy of bad taste, if she is your friend and has invited you, go for it, and hope its open bar. anyway, id bring a bottle of wine but as for cards or 'real' presents....i dont think they make 'congratulations on getting rid of a crappy man' cards (although maybe they should...) and giving someone a gift to celebrate the end of a marriage doesnt seem to 'normal' either. id stick w/the wine. hand her the bottle, say youre there for her if she needs anything and enjoy the rest of your night. if tears start flowing, call it an early evening and run for the door.

as for the fact that you know both of them, depending on how close you are to him (as in, if you plan to stay friends with him) you may want to opt out of the party all together. that cant be good for your friendship w/the guy. and just explain to your girl friend that you already have plans for that night but you'll try to stop by. send her a short note saying that youre there for her if she needs you and leave it at that. maybe the two of you can go out to dinner or brunch. that would be a lot less awkward for everyone involved.

Answer 5

A divorce party is a first for me. I have never heard of that. I would think that is she is giving the party, then she must be ready to move on with her new life. I would have to call her up and see how her mood was towards this party. If it is upbeat, then I certainly wouldn't do anything to diminish that feeling. I would probably give 2 gifts. One that is very supportive. Then one that is a total riot and all my friend could do would be laugh. Hope that helps some.

Answer 6

Good for her having a divorce party! I think that the best thing you can do is throw your feelings about her divorce aside and do whatever she wants to do. If she wants to cry then let her, if she wants to go drinking and dancing then go with her. I think that a sympathy card will make her feel like her life is over which it is definitely not. Maybe you can plan a spa day for the two of you and some friends, or plan some kind of adventure, or do something with her that her husband hated to do that she has always wanted to do.

Answer 7

I have never been to one but if you want to give her a gift how about an invitation (or actual tickets) for a night out just the two of you? You could tell her you are sorry for the loss of her marriage but that you will be there to spend some of her free time with her. You could go to the movies, shopping, dinner, or even a day at the spa.

Answer 8

I have never heard of a divorce party. Is this a party someone else is giving for her? Or is she giving it herself? I guess I would bring something like candy, wine or flowers just so I wouldn't feel funny if everyone else brought a gift.

I would have mixed feelings about this too.

Answer 9

Her divorce was PAINFUL but she's having a PARTY??? Forgive me if I'm wrong, but aren't parties for JOYOUS OCCASIONS??? If there is enough time, get her a DART BOARD with a picture of her EX's face embossed into the board and several DARTS.......... if there isn't enough time for that.... get her maybe a day at a spa (certificate) where she can be pampered and made to feel beautiful for a day...and get her a cute or funny card.... something like---well, now you can be your own person, do your own thing and NEVER as permission again!!!!!

Answer 10

I didnt know people threw divorce parties. If it's such a sad thing why is she even having a party. Anyways....I would say something to cheer her up...a gift would be fine as long as it's something she absolutely loves and would thank you for making her feel better.