Should my 14 year old kid have a credit card to use freely?

Question

My kid got a credit card from his aunt (my ex-sister in law) to use freely (limit of 350 dollars) for no apparent reason. This happened without consulting me first. I got mad when I saw he was ordering toys with this card and took the card away. Now I am considered to be the boogey man by both my son and his aunt.

So my question is threefold:

Should his aunt give him those kind of things without consulting me? Should a 14 year old kid have free control over a credit card with almost 400 dollars? Am I a boogy man?

I probably wasn't clear on this part: the bill does go to my kid's aunt so it's not like my child will have the responsibility of having to pay the credit card company at the end of the month...

Answer 1

No. No. and Maybe.

Answer 2

His aunt probably should have consulted with you, but since she didn't, you can look at this as a "teaching moment". What lessons can be learned here?

First, how to graciously accept a generous gift. Don't let the whole controversy over the gift make you forget your manners. Whatever your decision, to keep the card or give it back, make sure that your son sees you acknowledge the generosity of the gift.

You may want to talk with the aunt and ask her why she gave him this gift. Maybe you'll find out that she won it in a raffle or she's proud of him for some specific acheivement or maybe she's feeling distant from him? You say it was for "no apparent reason". Maybe you need to do some digging.

Most importantly, if you let your son keep the card, use this as an opportunity to teach him about credit. Explain to him that this is a gift card with a pre-determined spending limit and how that differs from a real credit card. "Real" credit cards are not pre-paid and using them will incur big penalties in the way of interest. It's really a great opportunity to talk about money -- a conversation that's often difficult for people to have and an important lesson for a 14 year old to learn. He's only a few years away from the "real" world of work and bills and all of those headaches.

Talk to him about his choices. Help him learn how saving his money can give him the freedom to buy more expensive items versus pittering away the balance with frivolous choices.

14 is not too early to learn these important lessons. Good luck!

Answer 3

Was it a real credit card or a gift card? I'm hoping it was a gift card b/c a 14 year old should not have access to such tempting power. BTW, did his aunt offer to pay the credit card off including any finance charges or late fees every month?

Also, aren't you the parent? You're worried b/c you're seen as the boogey man? Darn it, that's your child not your friend! Be the responsible adult in this situation since everyone else seems to be short sighted.

And those that argue the kid well learn financial responsibility, how about telling the kid to get a job and pay some bills. After Uncle Sam and that electric bill comes across his bed and that kid has to right that check, s/he'll learn more about financial responsibility than a credit card ever could.

Answer 4

I would first meet in private with your husband and establish as a couple what you think is appropriate for your son. Then communicate your decision as a couple to your son and the sister in law.

No one should do something like this without first consulting the parents. You could make the case that in today's credit world it would be a learning tool but this is only true if it is directed by an adult. You are not the boogey man. Sit down with your sister in law and let her know what kind of limit that you are comfortable with. Let her know the guidelines that you will be using to use it a teaching tool for your son.

If you should decide to go ahead with this, your son should get to see what the interest rate it and how it compounds. He should see what the minimum payment should be. Teach him as much as possible. Also, just because she set the limit at $ 350 doesn't mean that you can't control the card to a much lower level.

On the otherhand, if you just want to say no way, you should have that right. Good luck with this but try not to burn bridges with the in laws while still maintaining what you want for your children.

Answer 5

You definitely are not a boogy man....
Your sister in law should have consulted you before giving a credit card to your son. I don't feel a 14 year old should have a credit card anyway. Especially if he can use it for whatever he wants, whenever he wants, without having to pay for the merchandise or do anything for it. It doesn't teach a child any responsibility what so ever.

Answer 6

Well yes and no. Giving a credit card to a kid at around 14 isnt necessarily a bad idea. It can help him learn about money. For instance, if he wants to buy that Remote control car for $50 on his credit card. He needs to know that in 1 month, he needs to pay it back in full! (Dont let him pay the minimun). He needs to work for that $$ to pay it back. Show him that credit cards arent free $$. The fact that she gave him free will over a credit card is VERY irresponsible. You need to take it from him but let him use it. If he does use it, he needs to control himself and pay it off in a month when the bill comes in. Give him consequences to not doing so.
It can be a good thing to teach him about $$ early. My husband for example was given a credit card at 16. He is now a Certified Public Accountant ( a very well paid one, I might add). Its like giving a kid a piggy bank but this is a little more grown up. Turn this awkward situation into a learning one.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

Actually, you could use it as a tool to teach him responsibility with money. Sit down with him and plan out his budget. See what kind of things he wants and show him how much of his budget those things will take...I assume that he can only spend 350 in total and then the balance is gone forever. It may be a good idea to start teaching him responsibility with his own money and allowing him to use the credit card (after the original 350 is gone) but by putting his own money from allowance on it. You will have to monitor it closely to make sure that he is not going over what he can pay for.

The reason that I say do this is because a lot of kids who get out into college get credit cards (they give out cool shirts if you sign up!)and then they spend,spend, spend until they can't pay for the credit card and then they get into debt. The reason is they do this is because they don't understand interest or minimum payments. If you can get him into good habits then he will respect the credit cards in college and may not be tempted to use one, and if he is tempted then he will know how to use it wisely.


However, you know your child best and you know what is in his best intrest...if you say no then no it is!

Answer 8

First of all, a 14 year old should not have a credit card to use freely. They do not have the responsiblity to be able to maintain a credit card. I guess if you were to supervise him in using the card, that would be ok. His aunt shouldn't have given him the credit card without asking you first. That's just rude. And no, you're not the boogie man.

Answer 9

I wouldn't give a 14 year old a credit card.....they are not responsible enough to handle it....and who is paying the bill?....No you are not a boogy man...you are great parent and not she should have not done that without consulting you first...If i were you i would cut the card up right in front of my child....just to let them know who the boss is...

Answer 10

I'd say if his aunt is willing to pay for all the stuff he buys with the credit card let him go at it. His aunt will learn soon enough of her mistake when he racks up $350 worth of "stuff" every month.

And I think it is ridiculous. No 14 year old is responsible enough for a credit card.

Answer 11

His aunt shouldn't do something like this without asking you, but don't blma her much, maybe she agreed for it to her son and thought you will be like her, or simply she forgot, or she think this isn't a bad thing.

Your son could have a credit card, BUT with a smaller limit e.g 100$, or h you can deliver his pocket money to his credit daily and this will be more fun for him.

You aren't a boogy man.