I have decided what to do?

Question

My gf and I have decided to take my little sisters and brother in to live with us.(3,5,9) As you may have heard my mom does not want them since my dad died so I(18) and my gf(18) are gonna take them in. We talked to them and they are in total agreement. The only thing is they are complete brats and i dont know what to do. My mom is making us legal guardians as well. So how do I make my little siblings listen to me and my gf because grounding them doesnt work cause they will still stay out late or whatever. My mom says I ought to spank them and i think Im starting to believe and am really clode to trying it.

Answer 1

If possible take a parenting class and/or buy some books on parenting.
Also look online for parenting tips.


By the way your mother is pathetic.

Answer 2

Well you and your GL have decided to take on a really big responsabilty!! You are still so young yourself!! Your are a very brave young man. Also a very special one I think what you are doing is the most unselfish thing i ave ever heard. Hats off to you and your GF.
Now for the spanking part!! I am not sure that i agree with that one hundred persent. That will only make them angier
and more definent towards you. You have to remember that they are going through alot to. There father dies and there mother no longer wants to raise them. They are still very young
and very mouldable sort of skeak. I would try to make some ground rules and you really have to stick to these rules and
grounding is a real must. again you must stich to the grounding that means no video games and no movies.
Playing outside is a no no when they are grounded. They will beg and bug and bother you till you feel that you will want to strangel them WHAT ever you do do not give in. They will
realize after a while that you are not a push over. Make sure your GF does the same things and knows what you have grounded them for and for how long and that goes for you as well make sure you know what she has ground them for and for how long. You and she must not ever argue in front of them about them or any other situations that might arise. Make time for them remember they are part of the family and must always feel wanted.
Take a family outing a weekly thing. It dosent have to cost the earth. Go on picnics. Just make sure that everything in there life is positive. You and your GF are going to feel a big difference in your life as well. Try not to let them feel your
tensions when they arise.
Good luck and i hope that everything works out for you and your family!!!

Answer 3

This is a very noble act you are doing. It's a shame your mother doesn't appreciate what she has. Be strong and remember parenting is a hard job so take time out for yourselves as well.

In order for them to gain their respect and in return get respect you have to start acting like a parent not a big brother. Children need structure, rules and consequences. These will only work if you are willing to stick to whatever you say. Example. One of them doesn't return home by curfew. They get grounded for a week. You have to ready to deal with the back lash that's going to be thrown at you when they say mean things or don't cooperate. I would sit everyone down and discuss house rules and what consequences can be expected if the rules are broken. It sounds like they haven't had much of that. Stay away from spanking or you might just find out that you lose guardianship to the state. Instead take away the tv, radios, etc things that you know they like doing. Get everyone involved in helping to take care of the home and being responsible for school work. They go out of your way to come up with activities you can do together in appreciation of their cooperation. (ex. picnic at the park where you play games, do relay races, go fishings, etc.) Think of ways you can do things together without costing you much. Also encourage everyone to be home for meals where you can talk about your days, resolve issues and even help problem solve. Pick a night maybe once a week or two and do a family game night then opposite weeks do movies and popcorn at home. Let them know you want to do this so you can make this family strong but you need everyone to cooperate and work together. Best of luck!

Answer 4

You siblings need to first get use to the idea of having a stable home. Patience is needed. If they are not in some form of therapy, get them into it, the loss of a father and they may even feel abandoned by their mother, and when a young child is angry they act out. It is great that you and your gf plans on taking care of them, but remember you two are young yourselves and you two will need some time alone, plan on a sitter to get some alone time and some sanity back into your lives. Once your siblings realize both with you and your gf reassurance that all will be okay and they aren't going anywhere they will begin to listen. Be sure you tell them very upfront and matter of fact like what it is you expect of them. Kudo's to you and your gf.

Answer 5

Well, that is great. I wish I knew what was going on with your mom that she did not wish to raise them herself. This family must really be torn apart. Spanking kids is a tough issue. My mom is like, just whip them and get it over with. By the same token, I do whip, but it should fit the "crime". Sometime spanking doesn't really accomplish anything. Just make you feel better. The thing is to find what works in your family with that specific child. Good luck and I will be watching to see how this turns out. You seem to be on the right track and I wish you all the best in this!

Answer 6

use time out and start doing this when you say something you stick by it and demand they listen to you. you tell them this is your home and you will abide by the rules there is not turning back and you will listen to me or sit down and do it.

Answer 7

Good for you. I haven't decided yet.