what are women looking for in a guy i would prefer answers from women over 30?

Question

I am at a loss as to what women are looking for in a guy. I'm not a stunningly attractive guy but I'm not ugly either. Do women look for a nice guy or a bit of a rebel, someone that is cheeky. How do I always end up being friends but not lovers with the girls I meet. Also when a guy approaches a women, say in a club, how should the conversation go. Do you women like the talk to be a bit cheeky or raunchy or just the usual small talk. The big question is once I think they are interested how do I go about making the first move. Do I lean over and kiss them or ask them for a kiss and hope for the best.Any help would be appreciated.

Answer 1

The reason you always end up being friends is because there's a confidence chip missing from your 'hard drive'. Doesn't matter where you meet a woman, as long as you don't act like a jerk or use silly pick-up lines, and you don't look like Godzilla, you've already got a pretty good chance of getting somewhere with her.

If you don't know how to approach, eye contact is always a good thing. If you do it a few times and you catch her staring back at you each time, throw a smile in there. If she smiles back then its safe to make your approach.

How the conversation should go depends on the woman you're talking to. I wouldn't recommend anything raunchy because most decent women won't appreciate that kind of talk from a stranger. Small talk is always safer, as long as its not too silly. What to talk about? Anything at all that's fun and interesting...the only exception is don't ever talk about your past relationships with any person you've just met because that is the ultimate turn-off. Just talk to the girl. If you meet in a club, the loud music makes it a less than ideal place to have great conversation anyway, so just introduce yourself, ask if she's having a good time, tell her she looks nice, offer to buy her a drink, and then ask her to dance with you. Doesn't have to get any more complicated than that. She's either going to say yes, or no. And she probably won't say no because most single women don't go out to dance clubs just to stand around by themselves staring at other people all night. If she's not there with a boyfriend then she's there hangin out with her girlfriends and hoping to meet a guy. Think about it. Why else would any single woman go to a club?

Sounds to me like you are more looking for a girlfriend rather than a one night stand, and if I am right you want to avoid getting too 'touchy-feely' too soon. You will know soon enough if she's interested in going 'there' or not. Oh, and don't ask a woman if you can kiss her or wait forever for her to make the first move. Some women expect YOU to make that first move, and if you don't then that may be one reason you end up being just friends with them and not getting any further. If you spent the night together having a great time then don't ask or wait. Its not romantic and it will make you look like a wimp. Just do it. The shyness and waiting thing is fine for high school kids, but it doesn't really get you anywhere on the adult dating scene. Just make sure that all it is is a kiss---no tit grabbing or butt pinching. If she doesn't want you to kiss her she will turn away or push you away, and thats when you'll know to back off. Most of the time though, if you cue things the right way that will not happen. Its all in the approach. Talk about her, don't talk too much about yourself unless she asks questions, maintain your eye contact, and maintain your cool.

Answer 2

I can't speak for all women, but I can tell you what *I'm* looking for. I'm over 30, so I qualify. :)
I want a relationship. Sex is great and I'm up for that too, but preferably in a committed relationship where we only date each other. Long term goal: marriage. I don't want to tie the knot with the first guy I date/sleep with/meet, but eventually, yes, I want to get married again. A little cheeky talk to show that you have a sense of humor is good. Feel out the raunchiness -- some girls may like it. I think it's fun to talk a little sexy, but if it's over the top it's a total turnoff. Small talk can be OK if it's not too boring. Tell things about yourself but ask about her too. I love it when a guy asks for my number and puts it in his cell phone right then and there! Much nicer than just writing it on a piece of paper that could easily get lost. If you ask for her number and she gives it to you, CALL HER! Don't ask for the number if you don't plan to use it. And if she does give you her number, it's OK to kiss her -- maybe start with the cheek and see if she initiates anything further.

Answer 3

Ok, you're starting to annoy me. You act like if you were born better looking, it would solve all of your problems. You'd get dates, have good looks, and be confident in yourself. Sorry, but that's not how it works. No matter what you look like, you wouldn't think you're good looking, because that's how your brain works. It doesn't matter how lucky you are, your never going to it if you don't open your eyes. If I'm being too harsh, report me, I don't care. But I'm trying to get this through your head, and this is the only way to do it. By the way, I'm not over 18.

Answer 4

OK, I'll tell you straight up, a woman likes a guy with confidence, not bravado just secure in who he is. He should have a decent job and like what he does. Sense of humor is a requirement. I always did like a guy to make the first move when he sees I;m interested. I think conversation should be polite and center on current events and such until mutual interests are established. rebels don't cut it for me, seems immature

Answer 5

My best advise for you..would be... Just Be Yourself.
If a gal likes you....great. If she doesn't,..that's ok.
Don't try to be anyone else..the cool guy,...the jerk...etc.
Buy being a good guy... you just may find a good girl.
It takes time to find someone special. If your just looking
for a peice of tail...then by all means...be a jerk.
Women don't stay w/ men who are jerks....eventually.....they
will leave. That is a given. The guy just won't expect it.
It is is better to risk getting your heart broken,,and to love....
than not to have loved..at all.