Interfaith families: how do you raise children both Seventh Day Adventist and Catholic?

Question

I have been raised SDA & while I don't attend church like I should I still believe the core ideas of the Seventh Day Adventist church. The man that I hope to marry, the love of my life, is a devout Catholic. We’ve discussed, in great detail what we each believe & we’re at a place where we agree 2 disagree on this topic. I love him & I'm not going 2 try 2 change him & he feels the same way about me. We’re both being very understanding & respectful of eachothers beliefs. However, when we talk about children, we tend 2 bump heads. We want 2 raise them in both churches, but how do you tell your kids that Saturday is the Sabbath, yet you have 2 go 2 church on Sunday too? Or tell them that they have 2 go 2 confession, but mommy doesn't believe in it? There are several other issues that we need 2 work on, these are just examples. But I would really appreciate any advice you can give. Are there any websites that can help with topics like this? I know there has 2 be a compromise.

Answer 1

I hate to say it, but some religions are incompatible. You've just proved it with the whole Saturday/Sunday thing. Basically, if you tell kids Mom thinks Saturday is right and Dad thinks Sunday is right, then you've taught them that there IS no real right and wrong and therefore faith is completely optional. And if it's optional, it can't possibly be true because true things are not optional.

I suggest that right now, before you are married, you both take classes in each other's faith. That is, both of you attend an RCIA class in a Catholic Church and both of you attend a similar course that explains SDA. Then you can learn the sources for the beliefs of both your religions and hopefully come to a place of agreement.

P.S. Catholics also worship on Saturdays...it's called a Vigil Mass.

Answer 2

You need to take a long serious look at what you are doing before walking down the isle. If you think you will turn into one of those ' Gloria types' after you have children, and turn into a pious SDA woman don't put your (future) kids through it. If he is a devout Catholic and you fell in love with him like, you really need to think about what you truly believe in. You might want to start going back to the SDA church and become more devout in your own faith before you make the commitment of marriage.
This might sound harsh, but it has the potential to become a major issue down the road especially after you have a baby, things will change.
Seriously take sometime and think about why are you so attracted to a devout Catholic.
Why don't you try consulting a Catholic priest, and a SDA minister
Good luck to you in whatever it is you decide

Answer 3

It if very hard for two different faiths to be married and have kids unless one is not very devout.

You are wise in discussing this with your potential husband, it could save a nasty divorce later. While I do not know that much about SDA'S it is my impression that many have very strong negative feelings about the Catholic Church, up to the point that some don't even think we are Christians.

I used to be Protestant and now am Catholic and have never heard any bashing of the SDA's, I suggest you both go and talk with his Priest and with your Pastor(?) and decide what you are going to do about birth control, giving, and raising your kids BEFORE getting married, if you are getting married in the Catholic Church, this will be required of you learning about his faith first. He should also learn about yours.

Good Luck, and may God Bless you both!

P.S. I am happy that you are looking into this before marriage, so many people take marriage FAR to lightly, that is why our divorce rate is so high.

Answer 4

Hard to do since SDA is so antiCatholic but it is possible if you both love Jesus as Lord and are willing to find out what the other's Church really teaches. Having both Sabbath and Lord's Day is not bad.
Can you accept your children's being Baptized as Catholics and participating in Catholic sacramental and devotional life. I have found notheing objectionable in SDA worship that I've attended but the teachings about Catholicism and other churches....

Answer 5

You don't accept e-mail...so posting this response in relation to an answer you gave my question...you said many churches don't accept homosexuals.

Actually, I know of several that no longer look at homosexuality as a sin:

United Church of Christ
Episcopals
Some Presbyterians
Unitarian Church
Methodists
Some Independent Baptists
In addition to the Metropolitan Community Church, which is a predominantly gay denomination.

Many scholars are reading the original texts of the Bible..and coming to different conclusions on homosexuality...Remember the word homosexual wasn't even part of our vernacular until 1865.

Answer 6

I do not think you can raise children to be BOTH Catholic and Adventist. There are too many irreconcilable differences.

If the two of you are very serious about your faith, you are going to have problems with raising children. As you have already seen, there are some beliefs in Catholicism that cannot be reconciled with Adventism and vice versa.

You are very smart to be discussing what faith to raise the children before you get married.

Answer 7

I can't think of two religions that could conflict more, unless one of you were Muslim. But first I'd say, know that you're in for a huge challenge.
It is next to impossible to raise children in a household with 2 religions. Aside from being doctrinally frowned upon, it eventually leads the children to have to pick a side (it will happen sooner or later).
The only thing I can suggest is prayer....in extremely heavy amounts.

Answer 8

Choice #1: Marry the man and don't have children.

Choice #2: Marry the man, have children and neither of you go to church at all. Raise your children as non-denominational Christians. Christ never taught religion--why should we?

Choice #3: Don't marry the man.

Answer 9

Become a Catholic too. Otherwise, the marriage won't work. No one can have two religions. However, don't become a Catholic for the wrong reasons. Become one because it is the Religion that Christ founded. He founded only one religion. Plus, how can you say that your religion is right, and another religion that believes totally different things, can be right too? That's like saying the earth is round and flat!

Answer 10

The compromise is: you both teach your respective beliefs to the children.

The children see the inherent conflict, and come to recognize that your beliefs are a product of your upbringing, and that neither viewpoint has any bearing on the facts of the matter.

And in this way, you do our work for us and two more atheists are awoken to the truth....