Gift Registry...??

Question

We are having a wedding abroad with 45guest attending and have made it clear that we DO NOT want any gifts or money.

This is exactly what we have written on our wedding website and invites ''There will be NO GIFT LIST for our wedding. The kindness you have shown by attending our wedding is the best gift we could have asked for and we are extremely grateful for you coming with us to Jamaica to share this special day.
We honestly hope that you have a wonderful time not only on the day of our wedding but your 2week stay at the resort we have chosen and during your trip around this island''

However we are still getting people asking for what gifts they can buy. My cousins joked that we are only saying that because we want money - which is honestly not true!!

Is a gift registry as rude as asking for money!!? We don't want people wasting money on things we won't be using or for people to think we are only saying we don't want gifts because we want money instead.

Any ideas??

Answer 1

Registries are for convenience of the guests. They are only rude when brides treat them like they are owed gifts because they are getting married. You are definatly not in that category and it's great that you understand the cost involved to attend your wedding.

Some people just like buying gifts and want to give you something. Don't deny them their pleasure if they are insisting especially since you have made it clear that there being there is gift enough. It makes them happy to help you start your new life with your husband. I would register but it doesn't have to be expensive things. If they keep insisting then you can tell them "Ok well I'm registered at Target but really, your being there is the only gift we need." You don't want to hurt their feelings by turning down a gift they genuinely want to give. I am the same way with my dad. I don't want him to give me a gift since he gave me so much already but he really wants to so I told him to get me the chili recepie and a big pot to cook it in if he absolutely has to do something. :)

Answer 2

Not registering is not the same as asking for money, but lots of people really do want to give a gift. Since there isnt anything you really need then just tell those that insist that a gift certificate to a restaurant would be great. You are one of the first brides I've seen here who is having a destination wedding that truly seems to care about the expense your guests will have. Look at it from this perspective: Don't cheat them out of the good feeling they have in giving a gift. If you are the type of woman who likes candles or will need picture frames for some of your wedding photos then suggest those as well. Congrats on your wedding.

Answer 3

It is not rude for you to create a registry. People are going to give whether you register or not, so it's best to at least give them an inkling of what you want if you have a choice. i like the charity idea it is becoming quite popular to set up a registry for a local organization, maybe you can get the gifts and let the giver know that you are donating the item to the local women's shelter or homes for habitat so that those starting out without can have something for their new beginning. Receiving is good,but giving is even better, Congratulations!!

Answer 4

I think is is very nice gesture that you don't want gifts since they are coming to see your wedding.

Maybe you should recommend that the people who want to give you a gift see a local site and take a picture of them having a good time. Then they can mail you the photo in a frame. This way you will get a keepsake of there trip.

Best Wishes on the wedding and the marriage.

Answer 5

I didnt want gifts either and I stuck to my guns on that one. I didnt register and if people still kept asking I just told them nothing again and again. when my wedding say rolled around I ended up getting I think 3 actual gifts, some money and from others...I actually did get nothing and I was just as greatful for the money and the gifts as I was for getting nothing which is what we wanted in the first place. if you end up getting something you dont need the put it away in storage because chances are someday you will use it. and some people might still give money which you can put in saving until you do need it. and some people will give you nothing which is what you want. I wouldnt register if you really dont want or need anything. it would just be pointless and a waste of your time. if someone told me they didnt want gifts I wouldnt think it was becuase they want money because money is still a gift and your asking for nothing.

Answer 6

It is not uncommon to be asked what they can get you for a gift even if the "no gifts" is loud, clear and sincere. Some people just want to do it. Since they are asking, you have the option of saying "get us what ever you like" (can be a very creative gift or something that you will likely put in a yard sale later) OR actually telling them "While it really isn' t necessary, if you would like to get us something we could really use (insert gift here). Your thoughtfulness is much appreciated."

Just a suggestion. Good luck!

Answer 7

People are happy for you and they wish to give you something on your special day. It is very hard for your friends and family to not show the love they feel for you at this time. I don't think you will have many people not giving you something, gifts or money. Just have them send the gifts to your home. You are lucky to have so many thoughtful friends and family members. I don't think you want to ask for cash. If you have to return items later do this and express your gratitude in a thank you card for the lovely thoughtful gift.

Answer 8

I had a really hard time with this too. I felt really awkward registering for gifts last month. All my family reassured me that its perfectly normal and very much expected. Plus, many people are givers and they will get lots of satisfaction knowing that they are getting you something that you want or need.

Money isn't as personal. I have different groups of people having showers for me and one of the groups is very outdoorsy and so am I so we registered for camping stuff. Another group is huge into Pampered Chef so they already threw me a party for that one. Was it awkward...a little...but you just have smile and say thank you. They just want to add to the memory. So just let 'em. Congratulations by the way!!

Answer 9

People who are not attending your wedding may want to send gifts. Also, a registry has become traditional, especially for China, crystal, etc. Go to a nice store and register for a few things in varying price ranges that you can use. Crystal wine glasses are nice, and you will eventually use them.

Answer 10

Do not ever mention ANYTHING about registries, gifts or money in your invitations. EVER. If a guest wants to bring a gift, that is their choice. The gift is chosen by the giver.