Should I stay or should I go?????

Question

I have 3 teens an irritating husband (just basically doesn't have a clue) then a four year old.......I am seriously considering taking the little one and leaving for parts unknown because the other ones are slowly killing me....for the most part they are lazy, annoying, disrespectful and I swear share one brain between the four of them.....the husband is ok but since he is the step father lots of arguing and so on....I feel as if they are corrupting my youngest son....should I leave the 4 of them to their own pathetic selves and go have a nice peaceful life just raising my youngest or should I just deal with it and eventually end up vacationing on a funny farm? I am surprised that women everywhere don't just up and leave, tribulation style. Oh these people are so ungrateful. So should I stay or go? Anyone else contemplating?

Work on me....what the hell I am a saint and have been told so by many people, I am always telling them to be the better person when they want to start fighting and on and on....I am telling you these teenagers are MONSTERS. No matter how I punish them, take things away, they don't care, it's like they are some secret government weapon.

Come on people I am joking here.....hello......teenagers can be horrible and those who think that my teens are horrible because I raised them that way really need a reality check, I realize they are rebelling and trying to assert their independence, just the constant arguing and screaming, driving me nutty....I wouldn't leave, I am looking forwards to that vacation at the local insane asylum.

Ok in all fairness, we are victims of domestic violence that I escaped from 10 years ago; however, I have had many behavior analysts give up....they also take some of my ideas, like I make my teens earn their birthday and Christmas presents, I take away TV, Stereo and on and on....they are just very strong willed like me....I would never leave them, I love them like crazy, but I still have calgon to take me away.

Answer 1

Change the things that make them this way. Take things away until they straigten up. I mean REALLY TAKE THINGS AWAY. Seclude them to their rooms, take ALL TV privelages away even if that means taking the TV's out of their rooms.. take the CD players.. take away Driving privelages, even if that mean you giving them a ride here and there to WORK or SCHOOL or to the DAD's for the weekend.. NO PHONES.. Just attitude adjustments and make sure your new husband goes along with this.. SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS.. even invite a youth counselor from the local treatment facilitly and have that person explain to them that they can go stay on campus with them and not have ANY freedom at all.. DON'T BACK DOWN!!! You have to do what is right for YOU bc you don't want them all messed up out on the streets when they turn of age.. and it isn't fair to you or your little boy to have to up and leave bc they won't straigten up. MAKE THEM WORK FOR WHAT THEY WANT.. They want to eat supper or lunch or whatever MAKE THEM DO THE DISHES.. they want to hang out in the li ving room or take showers MAKE THEM CLEAN THAT ROOM.. it's not abuse, it teaching them that they are going to have to give a little to have a little. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 2

# 1 those babies no matter how young or how old are part of you, and you would not give up on yourself so don't give up on them. #2 Why do your children and your husband act the way the do, becuase of lack of guidance. Ask yourself a few questions, why is my family lazy? Are they lazy because instead of making them clean up after themselves or fix their own sandwhich I do it for them. Why are they disrepectful? Are they disrespectful because I to am disrepectful to others and they see this or is it when they are disrepectful I do not correct them ( I am not talking about raising your voice ). One other thing everyone is annoying at their own time but the reason they seem so bad to u is because you have giving up. I personally think you should first look at yourself and how you act, learn to love, and repect yourself. Then you can find it in yourself to get a hold of your childrens behavior because if you don't show them how they are suppose to behave and how to love unconditionally then who will and then what kind of life will your kids have and how will they treat their spouce and their children. If you just up and leave your children will think they are suppose to up and leave all thier ploblems and never stand up to them. They will be running forever because when you run from one problem you will run straight into another, and so will you. Stand up, straighten out the problems that you have in your life, ( I know personally) it will be hard, but you will feel so much stronger about yourselve and you will have the right to walk with your head held high.

Answer 3

I am sure people think of it but do not act on it. It would be cruel to leave your children. When you decided to have them you made the choice for the long haul. I would recommend trying to start taking control back at your home. You need to set consequences for there actions. If they don't do chores and help you need to start taking away phone time, computer, going out and so forth. If they still don't help then you can start taking things away. Like there beds, tv, music and they will have to earn the items back.

Answer 4

If your all your teens are like this then you as a mom failed them.......sorry to say but all four behave like this i mean people and myself have two or more kids and sometimes one doesnt turn out like the others, parents instill in all of them the same values, morals etc and then as they get older they choose to apply them or not but damn all four>? so it wasnt their choice you just didnt raise them correctly or discipline them when they were little and now you want to walk and quit when you failed them and they can still be saved? for your 4 yr old sake and your teens leave them with a family member and get lost, you are a pretty selfish lady , teen years are hard on teens and the parents, they arent a bad influence on your 4 yr old you are it seems. Days get hard every mom has wanted a break but never the thought or leaving them like that, its call abandoment. You call them pathetic, you chose thier step father, they didnt. You dont leave you set rules, guidelines,acceptable behavior and what you wont accept, are you scared of your kids? you are still their mother and the adult - I suggest you act like it dear-

Answer 5

If your husband is not the father of the three oldest then I don't think you can really leave them with him, can you? Or is he willing to keep them?

I can imagine being irritated at your teen-agers but I can't imagine the pain your must feel if you are contemplating actually leaving them.

Answer 6

Work on you, your issues and why you think and feel the way you do towards them....... then.......when you change your attitude and perspective, they will change.

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