My daughter is being married in a few weeks. It is a big formal wedding. The groom's father is dead and within his immediate family there is no one who could accompany me down the aisle or who could do the first dance with me at the reception (it is usual for my husband to dance with the groom's mum and vice versa). It has been decided my other son-in-law will perform these duties although it is not a case of him being a 'stand in' for the groom's father. However, when announcing the top table in eg Mrs -------- Mother of the Groom etc how should my son in law be addressed? Would Mr --------------- accompanying Mother of the Bride be okay? Doesn't sound right but he isn't my partner as my husband is present, neither is he my personal guest. Anyone got any bright ideas, bearing in mind it will be formally announced? With thanks.
2007-06-18 04:58:55 · 10 answers · asked by Ms Mat Urity 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
"Mrs. "Jane Smith" Mother of the Bride, accompanied by her son-in-law Mr. "Jon Doe".
2007-06-18 05:22:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he an usher at the wedding?
If so why not simply announce him as that - he is still an integral part of the wedding party and rather than the palava of giving him a "different" awkward title give him one recognised as part of the wedding party.
Or who is giving the bride away if it is formal they should stand in, unless that's her mother - sorry just thought about that.
Don't worry too much about it and make sure you and your family enjoy the day
2007-06-18 12:08:07 · answer #2 · answered by myattclaire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats actually rather odd. Usually the mother of the bride and mother of the groom are brought in by ushers to light the unity candle. Why would you guys not be traditional--especially when circumstances don't allow you many other options? Or did you mean at the reception instead.
You mention there is no one in the grooms family but it is more common for someone in your own family to walk you. What happened to the father of the bride--divorce or deceased, or merely not present? With the extreme number of divorces today and the independence of women I don't understand why you would not walk into a reception hall by yourself. I would put on the invites and in the wedding program, parents of the bride Jane and the late John Doe (if he is deceased) and have the DJ announce "the mother of the bride Mrs John Doe." After all, she is still the child of you both. However I know in divorced families--you would walk in by yourself, even if you were dating someone else. You would not walk in with your boyfriend and your exhusband walk in with his new girlfriend. You would each walk in as separate individuals.
Personally I think it looks weird to have the groom walk in to a reception multiple times. Walk you in, run back, his mother, then make his grand entrance. Odd looking and exhausting on him.
As far as the dance--there is no more tradition with that and in fact I've never been to a wedding where they did the mother of the groom dances with the father of the bride and vice versa. Thats rather unique. But especially when you don't have the grooms father and apparently don't have a brides father--it sounds dumb to create a tradition that you can't follow. I mean the groom is going to have 5 dances--his first with his bride, then with his mom (mother son dance), then with you substituting in for his father while his bride dances with....the grooms mother??? This is strange. Why not stick with tradition and have the couple do the first dance? In place of the first dance with her father--I've seen daughters whose father passed away to do a memory slideshow. They play music and show a slideshow of her and her daddy. In early divorces I've seen dances with step dad. I've also seen brides who had a brother or uncle escort them down the aisle and do the first dance. If you don't have any of those options, just don't do the "dance with the father".
A friend recently got married and both she and her groom's mothers were deceased. They chose to have oil paintings done of both their mothers and have them framed at the start of the receiving line. The couple did the first dance. She did the dance with her father. Then the dance floor was opened for everyone.
But in a formal situation--it should be divided parents of the bride and parents of the groom. In an informal situation, you could just announce "our parents" but formally you would be Mother of the Bride, your title. Then, Mother of the Groom, her title. As it seems there is just a mother on each side there is no need for the groom to run back and forth escorting each person in. You and the mother of the groom should both be independent women--or be escorted in by ushers and announced as "Mother of the bride, Ms Jane Doe, escorted by the usher, Mr Chad Johnson." That would be proper etiquette, formal, and not be awkward looking to your guests.
2007-06-18 12:36:51 · answer #3 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're on track, but make both desingations completely parallel (name, relationship to the couple). So it would be "Mrs. ___, mother of the groom, accompanied by (or "escorted by") Mr. ___ , brother-in-law of the bride" (if that's his relationship to your daughter).
2007-06-18 12:37:10 · answer #4 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Etiquette would suggest that, as the man, your son in law would be named first if you are entering together, but other than that it sounds perfect.
I hope it goes wonderfully and you all have a great day.
2007-06-18 16:19:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He would be announced as the bride's brother in law.
2007-06-18 14:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's your daughter and he's your son-in-law, that makes him brother-in-law of the bride, doesn't it? Call him that. It's less of a mouthful than son-in-law of the mother of the bride.
2007-06-18 12:04:56 · answer #7 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've answered your own question. That sounds like the best wording of it.
2007-06-18 12:33:50 · answer #8 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you have it right in my humble thoughts.
2007-06-18 12:03:30 · answer #9 · answered by Dawnita R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes sure why not?
2007-06-18 12:04:22 · answer #10 · answered by FLYYCHICK28 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋