What is correct dress for us (my hubby and I) to wear to a funeral - e.g. should he wear a black tie or what?

Question

We want to be respectful but neither do we want to go over the top!

Sorry should have added it is my mother-in-law's funeral.

Answer 1

As it is such close family, it is appropriate to wear a black tie as a sign of respect. For yourself, as long as you wear subdued colours (black, navy, dark brown, bottle green etc) and appropriate clothes (a trouser suit, skirt and jacket or dress would be acceptable) you will be fine.

Unfortunately, I have more experience with funerals than I ever wanted, but if you follow my suggestions, you should be fine. Don't forget to wear waterproof mascara and bring tissues - it can get very emotional.

My condolences to your family.

Answer 2

I always think it is appropriate to dress smart and formal to a funeral unless anything else is specified (which is rare anyway). I always wear a white shirt and black tie to a funeral, usually with a black suit. Black is always best, it doesn't have to be suits, but smart and black and you can't go wrong.

In the UK some people are now attending funerals a bit more casual or wearing bright clothing but thats not for me and a lot of other people still follow the tradition and old values of respect for a funeral. So I'd say a man should always wear black trousers/suit with a white shirt and black tie (tie can be stripes or spots as long as black). A woman should always wear black skirt/trousers/suit with a white shirt/blouse.

Answer 3

Today many people don't wear black anymore. At least at the funerals I've been to in the past few years. The last one I attended (my great aunt's) I wore grey slacks and a grey top and black dress shoes. My father wore darkish tan pants with a white shirt and dark suit coat.

I won't suggest bright colors or reds. But you don't have to cover yourself in black from head to toe. Unless the family and funeral is orthodox. Then maybe you might want to check with another person that is going.

Answer 4

For him, a suit and tie. It doesn't matter what color, as long as it is subdued. Black, gray, blue, whatever, as long as he wears his jacket.

For you, traditionally, black dress.

Many people don't do the all-out black anymore. They will incorporate one piece of black clothing into their outfit. So, if you wore black pants, you could wear a colored top. Just don't do anything really vibrant or wacky. Pick something dark or muted.

I have also been to funerals that were very colorful. People wore bright colors as a mark of respect to the dead, who had lived life with zest. That is usually discussed by the family prior.

Answer 5

Just dress respectfully, it doesn't have to be black anymore. Men don't have to wear a suit & tie. You wouldn't want to wear droopy below the butt jeans if you are a man nor would you want to wear skin tight jeans if you are a woman. But nice dress pants and a dress shirt for a man, and a nice pair of pants and a nice top or a good dress that covers well for a woman would suffice.

Answer 6

I would check with someon close to the family if possible. I've been to a funeral where all attendants were asked to wear pink (it was a 17 yr old girl)- I'm sure if they wish something like that they would have told you, however, Nowadays I think sombre, dark colours without loud patterns are generally considered appropriate without needing to be head to toe black- don't think I've ever worn black to a funeral! It depends on the person who died and their family. Did you know them well? Were they traditional in their views? or did they enjoy bright colours and have a fun sense of dress themselves? My grandad always wore brightly coloured ties and I preferred to dress brightly despite what other older guests might have thought. I wouldn't overly worry about it, but, like I say, check with a family member or close friend if you are concerned. Most people would just be thrilled you cared enough about their loved one to show up. Hope it goes well.

Answer 7

you, the women i guess, should wear a black pair of dress trousers with a white shirt and a black jacket. dressy but not going out dressy just decent looking

your hubby should wear a black suit with a black shirt and a blnack tie.

black socks too, and black polished shoes

dont look like your about to hit the town, be respectable and decent dressed with clean cut edges and very angle taken care of, ie the socks and shoes and you will look fine.

hats with veils, gloves and scarfs are all kinda over doing it, keep jewlerry to a minimum and accessorice as little as posible, your not going to need a clutch bag or anything.

hope this helps

Answer 8

How close are you to the departed? Immediate family usually wear black or dark colors. Others usually just wear clothes that isn't festive. Bright flowers, sun dresses, etc. seem out of place.
A shirt and tie is always nice. But I see people in very casual clothes also.

Answer 9

As long as he has a dark suit with a black tie - he should be fine, funerals aren't quite as sober as they used to be. You could perhaps wear a black jacket, or black skirt or trousers with a white blouse.

Answer 10

A black tie is always appropriate if he is wearing a suit. but if not a black armband on the left arm

In your case I will not make mother in law jokes.