School age kids and Birthday parties?

Question

Help me warn young mothers about the current birthday pary mania! "For warned is for armed!"
I think giving huge, expensive parties EVERY year has become unhealthy for kids and pocketbooks alike.
I recently heard that some schools dictate a policy of inviting everyone in class or no one! Some parents are using the event as a status symbol others don't know how to "buy" out of the cycle.
Am I the only one who thinks this is out-of-hand? Solutions?

Answer 1

Yes, I agree. It's become I can top you with my child's birthday theme party. Have you ever considered allowing your child to invite a few friends over for the day, have an art activity (like painting a t-shirt, provided by invitees), eating pizza (or something healthier and simple) and riding bikes at the park? Or have something at school. Simple cake and ice cream, sing happy birthday, give out gift bags , no invitations are necessary, so no child is obligated to bring a gift ( if your child is okay with this). You could also have a family only gathering on a weekend- meal, cake and ice cream. Everybody get together, pool their resources and buy special more expensive gift for the birthday boy or girl. Anyone of these choices is a much more subdued way of celebrating a birthday;more personal too and not so outrageous. Let's teach our children a little humility!

Answer 2

At my kids school you can only hand the invites out at school if you are inviting everyone in the class. This is to avoid having a situation where everyone but one or two kids get invited and there are hurt feelings. Most of the parents I know just mail the invitations out. If my kids get invited to a party of someone that I don't know or they aren't really friends with then they don't go. We have had parties where we invited the whole class and I've known some other mom's who did the same, but you don't really expect everyone to come when you do that.

Answer 3

I have to agree that the big parties are getting out of hand. I also think it is contagious. If one child has a big party then another will want one, as well as, your own child.

The move to invite all classmates only occurred for us in day care. It wasn't too bad since the kids were easier to please and do not expect much from the treat bags.

My son is nine and we have mailed invitations to avoid the conflicts at school. The parties are now a smaller group and we vary the event from in home to a sports event. We live in the Princeton area and are lucky to be able to attend minor league baseball, and Ivy league games all which are very well priced.

We like to give the option to our kids, if you are inviting a large group the event is at home with good home made food and cake, or a small group that we can take to an event.

Answer 4

We actually mail out party invites, none of them go to school. Party is limited to 8 people, birthday kid included! (There's a reason that stuff comes in 8's!!) Goodie bags are related to theme of the party and are no more than $3 each. Cake is homemade, not store bought. I try to keep to a budget of around $50, and most of the time we are underbudget.
We do our parties at home.. I try to come up with a cool with the help of the birthday girls, and we go for it. We've done Blues Clues, Dr. Seuss, Mad Scientist, Strawberry Shortcake, Peanuts, Flowers (did flowery crafts), Tea Party, Outdoor games, etc. No one ever turns down an invite, as they know it's going to be something different from every other party. We stop parties at 10, 11 & 12 are sleepovers with a special friend, maybe going out for dinner and a movie with them. 13 & 16 will be parties again.
It's worked so far and haven't had any complaints!

Answer 5

I don't have kids but have younger school age cousins that I see this through. Personally I think its crazy! When I was a kid, I barely even had birthday parties where anyone outside of the family was invited. I can see having parties with a handful of kids each year but the lavish parties that are being thrown is nuts. I see TV shows like the "My Super Sweet 16" on MTV and it really is ridiculous the amount of money people spend on a birthday party! I hate to see what the kids will expect for their weddings!! Alot of kids this day and age are spoiled so much that they are in for a rude awakening when they hit the real world and don't have mommy and daddy paying for everything.

Answer 6

I agree with you - it is out of hand! My daughter turned 5 in December and I was so worried about impressing the parents that I got totally worked up and stressed out. As it turned out the kids had a great time just playing with the toys and balloons in the basement. I had planned two activities and three games, but we only played one game and did two activites. The rest of the time the kids entertained themselves.
This year I am going to have her 6th party at one of those indoor moon bounce places that provide the entertainment and food for all the kids for one price. I am not going to stress myself out again like I did.

Answer 7

I definitely think its out of hand and more of a status symbol for parents! We have decided to forego big parties for one special event with my daughter - she can choose to go to Disney for a day just as a family (we of course live near) or invite a friend to do one more expensive thing. For example this year my daughter and her best friend created and painted pottery, when to lunch and got ice cream. Last year she went to a musical with a little friend. So much easier, the actualy "party" is just as much fun and it saves mom and dad lots of money!

Answer 8

I agree with the schools. It is RUDE to send a child to school with invitations only to invite a select few. If you only want a select few at the party get their addresses and MAIL their invitations to them. It is very tacky to hand out invitations in a classroom and not have enough for the entire class. If you don't know the addresses of your children's friends then pay more attention to who your children's friends are.

Answer 9

for each birthday social gathering we many times spend approximately $20 (now if its like a ultimate chum than we could spend extra). I continually stay for the occasion yet in spite of this my toddlers nonetheless have not had any events the place the host mothers and fathers even choose the different mothers and fathers to pass away. we've despatched a modern to exceedingly much each and every toddler whether we haven't long gone (yet on occasion the present could be slightly extra inexpensive or in easy terms a card with a small quantity of funds). there became one occasion my youngest became invited to and we did not pass nor deliver a modern yet regularly because of the fact she isn't in my daughters classification and my daughter merely randomly see's her in the time of the week!