I have been with my b/f for a year and a half and i love him to bits. He used to be so romantic when we first got together, buying me cute lil prezzies and stuff. we've lived together for nearly a year and he's stopped making the effort. he tells me he loves me all the time but i need more than that. I need cuddles, affection and to be romanced. he says he feels like he doesn't need to bother now he's got me living with him but i still need the loving. How can i convince him to change?
2007-06-18 02:21:47 · 18 answers · asked by *T*I*N*K*E*R*B*E*L*L* 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dear LouLoubaby, Why do you feel you need to convince him? You should already know. You know that living together is just like being married with out the ring. You've lived with him for over a year and because the gifts have stopped you, feel that he no longer cares, however on the other hand he tells you he loves you all the time, this must mean something to you, being told that you are loved is far better than a gift. Having been married for 5 years, I have never brought my wife flowers or any gifts with the exception of her birthdays Christmas and Mothers day and then she tells me what she wants, but we always make sure before I or she leave the house we tell each other I love you, because you never know what is going to happen and we want to know the last words we here are "I love you"! As for cuddles, why not sit closer to him when you watching the TV, or put your arm around him when he is doing something, or even place you arms around him from the back a nuzzle into his neck placing a few kisses here and there. But above all being told your loved is a far greater gift then something material/ Good luck LouLoubaby
2007-06-18 03:51:43 · answer #1 · answered by David Wilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he needs to make you happy or the relationship won't work. You also on the same note have to realize that these things cannot last forever or happen consistantly throughout a long relationship. Now that you guys live together things are more familiar to you and life with your once electric relationship has been reduced to doing dishes and other mundane household responsibilities. Let him know that you need a break from the mundane every once in awhile and would like to see a rose on your car in the morning, or just a little something to remind you of how much he really loves you. He really does, it's very good for you when a man feels comfortable in his little nest. Please understand that he feels the same way about not having to worry about these things as you feel about needing them. To make the relationship work however, he needs to give you these things every once in awhile. Now ask yourself this... do you do things for him he considers special? Maybe you should start the process. :)
2007-06-18 02:33:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever thought about surprising him with a gift or even something out-of-the-ordinary?? Its a 50/50 highway, so its not always the guys job. Maybe a nice fancy dinner out on the town would be a change of pace and get him in the "mood" again with other stuff.....Just a thought
2007-06-18 02:26:09 · answer #3 · answered by ShaunC#14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds almost like you only got with him cos he bought u stuff - the rest u say is there - he cuddle and and reminds you he loves you - yet it seems to be the giffts ... isnt there a word for this?
if its jsu a little romance your after -try taking the lead your self - when its only him that has to make the effort .... well how intrested could you really be in those activitys? obiously not that intrested you dont do it your self
2007-06-18 02:33:50 · answer #4 · answered by Andy C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you cannot pressure anyone to do something he doesn't want.
By asking him to do that, you'll not make anything.
Try to refresh your relationship...invite him a trip or anything else. You can also make a bit of effort to surprise him.
Be original and don't ask anything from him. If he doesn't realise what you wanted to achieve, he's not sensitive and you'll never again get what you want.
2007-06-18 02:42:04 · answer #5 · answered by veceras 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He says he doesn't need to bother when you are living with him! it sound to me like he is saying it was just to "get" you now he's "got" no need for any effort now. How selfish. I love you !its just words he need to be told to wake up before he looses you to someone who really cares.
2007-06-19 11:53:03 · answer #6 · answered by Eddie W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does not know when he is lucky i have been with my wife for 14 years and I dont treat her like that get shot of him.
what you need to do is to tell him what you want and if he does not try hard to fit the bill have a trial break this can work for alot of people.
hope this helps
topcat
2007-06-18 12:52:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that if he doesn't change then you'll have to leave
face it, if you feel this way after less than a year of living together, can you honestly think of yourself as being happily together in 5 / 10 / 20 years' time?
2007-06-18 02:42:38 · answer #8 · answered by HeckZane 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cut back on the rewards. No little gift, no cuddles and affection then no home runs.
2007-06-18 02:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOL - tell him that if he doens't start showing you more affection the relationship is not progressing and you'll have to move on and find someone who will show you affection. That will either shape him up or you'll know to move on.
2007-06-18 02:25:31 · answer #10 · answered by Tiger01204 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋