My 18 years son always infront of computer playing games. Now we made him to join BCA course according to his wish by paying donation becuase he scored 51% in puc ii. If I take off the computer, he needs it for his "C PROGRAMMING" for his BCA. So how to tackle this problem?
2007-06-17 22:12:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
hii there!!
if u want to control that kinda age kids its very difficult b'se they are in growing stage!! nothing wrong with him!! thats a hobby for him!! let him and he will stop when time goes on!! if u try to control him it will become more worst!! when he continue his studies then he will busy with his college and he will automatically starts to stop that kinda things!!
good luck!!
2007-06-17 22:30:07 · answer #1 · answered by rssays 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him point blank that you are no longer going to put up with his back answers. If he continues you are no longer going to provide a home for him and he will be on his own. Make good on your word. Give him three chances. The first time tell him that is one. The two and then three. After three put him out of the house for three days. No excuses. When he comes back, same conditions only this time it will be for a week. I think he will get the idea pretty soon you are not going to put up with his back answers.
2007-06-18 05:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by don n 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's 18. It's time to cut the cord.
If doesn't want to live by the house rules, he needs to find another house that better suits him.
The sooner he moves out, the sooner he matures.
2007-06-18 05:18:09 · answer #3 · answered by timthinks 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
then make sure that is all he is allowed to use the computer for until he learns some respect. youd take a toy off a younger child. hes just a big kid so take his toy away too
2007-06-18 05:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by jo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey hunny ;i have 3 son.s .each one in turn ;has rebelled .in one way or another .i do not know if you ;a husband .or partner .if yes; he should sought it out .if not ;the fact is your son will not change ; one day soon;loose your temper .and put on the tear.s .make him fill ashamed .us men can not cope with the ;tear.s .tell him you can not take anymore . he has to ;help you out . good luck with that .
2007-06-18 05:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He earns his priviliges back, when he does his homework have him type on front of you, he gains the computer and game back when his grades improve.
2007-06-18 05:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is right in front of you, if he backchats take his computer privelages away from him
2007-06-18 05:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all -- IF you paid for the computer -- you can go onto the computer, and through the system -- DELETE the computer Games for sure (this is very, very easy!).
NEXT -- Since he is living in your home and you (as parents) are paying his way through higher education -- you CAN and DO have the RIGHT to control the amount of time he is using the utilities and everything in your home -- INCLUDING the internet and computer and electricity for sure.
PUT up time limits for him to be on the computer, and yes, DO have the computer/Internet Connection in the COMMON Room (Family Room and NOT his bedroom, for instance) so that you, the PARENT, can determine the content of what he is accessing at this time -- if it is SCHOOLWORK -- fine. BUT ... if he is solely accessing the computer games ... then PULL The PLUG out of the WALL, and yes, DO TURN the computer off!
At the same time, set ground rules for your son -- at 18 years of age -- he is LEGALLY an Adult and he needs to take on his adult responsibilities. Which means -- that he NEEDS to also find part time employment to pay his FAIR SHARE of the costs of his continuing to live in the home (and you are being VERY GENEROUS to put up with the backtalk and him in YOUR home at this time) -- so getting even part time employment while he is continuing his education is NOT unreasonable!
He can (and should) be required to pay a small rent for living in the home -- to pay for the cost of his food and the things that he needs (including the cost of utilities, internet connection, as well as part of the costs of his education as well!). This is what EVERY adult age person does -- they WORK for the things that they want and need -- and are willing to take on responsibility for themselves at the age of 18 and beyond!
So NOW is the best time to sit him down, to SET the groundrules for his conduct and behavior in the home, and ... if he is NOT working towards his advanced job certifications, nor contributing to make the home run smoothly (or his costs of living) ... and is disrespectful or abusive to you in YOUR OWN HOME ... then it is best to also inform him of his ADULT choices in this matter ...
"YOU, son, have ONE SHOT through this advanced training, and yes, we, your parents will help you through this as best we can. It means that you NEED and MUST respect OUR Home and OUR rules in the home -- and computer gaming is NOT what is going to help you become a RESPONSIBLE Adult and to transition into responsible adulthood.
ALL Adults have to work HARD for their livings -- and yes, we all take FULL Responsibility for our choices. IF you continue to live the way you have (computer games instead of homework, not helping around the home, and disrespect through backtalk or abuse) -- we MUST help you along that path to full adulthood (and responsibility), because ... we are NOT getting any younger, and ... out of TRUE LOVE for you, our child, we will INSIST that you move out on your own and take the FULL Adult Consequences for your behaviors.
We can't and will NOT be co-dependent with your problems. We can't afford to support you forever either. We have placed ourselves and our needs into the background to allow you to have the BEST that we could provide over the years since your birth ... but you also need to realize (and do the deed/action) of standing proudly on your own TWO FEET and BE the responsible adult that WE, through our HARD WORK, have shown you all this years!
So, son, NO MORE computer games. The computer stays in the Common Room, and there ARE Time limits to its useage -- which are in place because it is OUR HOME And we are paying the bills. We have supported you in this choice to get additional education, but you need and MUST concentrate on your lessons to succeed. ONE shot is all you have -- it is all we had at the same age. So do your best in your school work, and we ask little other than help around the home and RESPECT for ourselves, our home, and our home rules.
IF you can't do that -- then you have X amount of time to find a place of your own to live -- and we will NO LONGER be paying any costs of support for you to live or your needs. Those costs must be borne by your hard work, from FULL TIME Employment -- which means you must get a job and save and move out. What we provide will stay in OUR home. YOU must provide for your own needs.
We love and care for you tremendously and fully. And the best way that we can show that love and caring is through the Rules, the Respect that we should receive in OUR home, and by letting you EXPERIENCE FULLY the ADULT CONSEQUENCES of your behaviors and choices in life. It is for the best, and will help you transition successfully into responsible adulthood."
2007-06-18 06:34:40 · answer #8 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dunno. is he staying out of trouble? getting good grades? helping around the house?
give him some things to help with around the house together with you so that you two can chat and keep a good bond to one another
2007-06-18 05:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋