I have lied to my gf about sleeping with girls - help?

Question

Before me and my girlfriend got together, we were part of the same social circle.

Whilst talking one day, the topic of sex came about and I noticed that she was rather experienced and had slept with many guys. Not wanting to sound inexperienced, I lied telling the group I had slept with 4 different girls.

The truth is that before we got together I had only slept with one girl, it was a one night stand at a music festival.

Since we have been together (8 months) she has casually questioned me about the '4' other girls I have slept with, and not wanting her to know that I lied I have made up the stories about the other girls. She doesn't really have a problem with the amount of girls I have apparantly been with.

I feel bad because I lied, when infact she is only my second girl. But I feel it's now too late to tell her the truth because she will be annoyed I have lied. But I also know she would feel special if she knew she was just my second.

Help! Advice please?!?!

Thanks for the replies.

I am still worried though, if she knows I lied about this will she think i am a guy who is a lier about other things?

I love her so much, but don't want to spoil things and make her think I am a lier. This is the ONLY thing I have not told the truth about. Thing is, she knows the names of the girls (they are real past gf's, but we didn't ever have sex) and knows stories I have told her about me and them.

If she thinks the lies I told were well planned out will she hate me?

This whole thing is really worrying me. I just want to come clean and don't want her to be angry with me. I'm not sure if I can though.

One other detail....

She is very honest about her past sexual experiences. One thing she hasn't told me is about a 3some she had with a guy she liked and his gf. She had sex with them both on 3 occassions last year and would also have sex with the guy when his gf was around. She has never told me this, but I found out one day when she left her diary hanging around.

I just hope she is withholding this information because she loves me. She tells me that she had sex with just the guy, and he was single. She also says that she had some bisexual nights with a girl. In reality, it was a couple of 3somes with her and another couple.

Answer 1

Tell her... It is really important in a relationship to be completely honest with each other. Especially when it comes to sex. You should sit down with her and tell her that you haven't slept with as many girls as she thinks you have. Then just be honest with her and tell her that when it was brought up in the group you felt embarassed so you lied, then once you lied you didn't know how to turn it around and tell her the truth. She may be upset at first but she will give you a lot of respect for coming clean and telling her the truth even if it was from the beginning. Good Luck... I'm sure everything will work out perfectly, just speak from your heart and let her know how you felt about the situation...

Answer 2

I would suggest that you tell her the truth and stop lying to her. You should feel good about yourself not having been sleeping around with a bunch of girls. Why not try to just be yourself and feeling good about who you are. There are some girls who are not infatuated with a guy who has slept with a lot of people. I have found that when you start off lying, then you would wound up continue lying to keep the truth from coming out. If she doesn't have a problem with the number of girls you have been with then why lie. You want her to think you are experienced in sex so you lie. We have to learn that if someone cannot accept us as we are then we need to move on, especially if it is something good about us that they find unattractive. Starting out lying in a relationship is not good at all, because if she finds out the truth then she will start to wonder about things you say to her. I would suggest that you tell her the truth before anyone else that knows tell her. Love who you are and accept who you are. When we love and accept ourselves then it makes it easier for everyone else to love and accept us, and then if they don't then maybe it's all for the best.

Answer 3

So is this like book collecting, where the low-numbered editions are more valuable than the later editions? I think you're rather self-indulgent thinking that this girl who sleeps around a lot (or claims to) is going to care whether she is number 2 or 5 on your list. If she's been around the block a few times, she should know that stories get embellished. Maybe she's done her own embellishing.

I think you should come clean since this seems to be bothering you. You can break it to her easy by telling her some funny story like one of your past conquests was a vampire or a famous movie star. I think she'll laugh it off. And if it turns out that behind her casual demeanor she's really seething about the other girls, then you'll have learned something important about how difficult it is to relate to her.

Answer 4

well this's not a big deal. All guy want to sound like he have more experience than his partner. N most guy lied about that.
So in a relationship is better not asking all the question about the ex.
Well..my advice is... if she ask you about your ex, just tell her that you don't want to talk about the past (ex) 'cause right now what matter is you n her n what you have with her is the best n more ....(whatever) than with the other you has before.
If she's smart, mature n care about you, she won't ask that over n over again n push you just to get the answer. Even if later, however if she does find out about the truth, it wont bother your relationship, she will understand that it's just about self-esteem n ofcourse she will love you more 'cause for you she's special.
YOU ROCK

Answer 5

You lied, and that sucks. But she WILL be completely flattered when you tell her the truth.

The only reason a girl asks a guy how many girls he has been with is so that she can try to be better than the competition e.g. all the other girls before her. It may even be a relief for her that you have slept with 1 girl before her.

In any case, be prepared for her to use this as ammo against you in the future.

Answer 6

Basically when you entered in a relationship is very simple from the beginning it has to be stated that your past is your past and what matters is the present and where the relationship is going, my friend is not a big deal, there is no reason to lie, but you already did, so move on with it and leave your present, and if she ask again tell her the truth is nothing wrong with her being the second girl.

Answer 7

Well, if you tell her the truth you may appear as weak and a Lie. Weak not because you only been with 2 girls, but because you don't have enough pride and confidence to proudly say you only been with to. The fact of the mater is you lied, so she will wonder "what else has he lied about" also, you will come off as a Lil punk. Sorry. If I where you I would tell her " I do not care about the girls in my past, nore the guys in yours, I only want to think about our future. So baby could we please just talk about us?"

Or something like that. She will feel special and hopefully stop thinking about the past, and focus on the future.

Answer 8

Just tell her the truth. Tell her you didn't want to seem inexperienced and stretched the truth. Admit that you were waiting for someone special and that was her....trust me, she will feel special and not care that you fibbed. And FYI....next relationship.....leave past sexual encounters in the past. It's very wise to never kiss and tell. Men/woman always say they want to know.....but they don't. It's a good practice to say......"what I've done in the past is just that....the past. I don't talk about them, anymore than I would talk about you....it's about respect." That gets you out without having to confess where you've been.....or haven't been. Trust me on this one.

Answer 9

Well it depends on how long you plan on being in this relationship! If you plan on marrying this girl then i suggest you tell her the truth the longer you leave it the worse and more hurt she will be. If you tell her you were embarrased and be real sweet and cute about it then she'll forgive you. If its not serious then I wouldn't bother.

Answer 10

the only person who knows ur gf as good as u do is u....the best thing 2 do is talk 2 her and explain 2 her y u did dat and y u continued to lie to her about the topic, if she will feel special about it then she will understand and change the subject. everythin will b ok just relax and tell her everythin, trust me u will feel much better knowin that u told her.