My MIL has a grandson who is my nephew. She expected him to cut her 1 acre of grass, weed eat all around her house and rake the leaves. She never paid him a penny and then he moved to another town. Now she wants my son to do the same for her for free. Her theory is my son "owes her." My son has never asked her for money or for a ride anywhere, he has a job and doesn't cause me a moment's worth of trouble. Since my nephew moved away and quit mowing her lawn, my MIL bashes him terribly and vows to cut him out of her will. How would you handle this?
2007-06-17 16:01:49 · 25 answers · asked by Jessi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My son, who was 15 at the time, mowed grass for an elderly lady for four hours. She had a very big yard. Anyway, I took him to her house, watched him work his butt off, sweating, in the heat (south Texas heat)...he did an excellent job. She paid him $5. He was upset...even I was upset. We vowed never to do THAT again.
Don't feel one bit bad about telling her NO! Your son is NOT obligated to her. Screw her "will!" That is just ridiculous! She can either mow her own yard or pay a company to do it. You don't need the aggivation and neither does your son.
Heck, I wouln't even go around her much. Yes, it is important for your son to learn to work, but not for free for somebody who treats people this way. That is inhumane! Just teach him the difference between doing something for somebody out of the goodness of your own heart and getting taken advantage of. Don't bow to this woman!
2007-06-17 16:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by BLM 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your son wants to do it out of the kindness of his heart or out of respect, then more credit to him. But he is by no means obligated.
To speak for your MIL:
It sounds like your son already has a good work ethic, but (from personal experience) work like this can really toughen a young man up both physically and mentally. It's a good work ethic booster, and he will be that much more wiser and overall better doing it for free.
You could, of course, try to negotiate a price.
As far as the will, that seems like a very unstable form of power, and i would tell your nephew that he doesn't need any will to succeed in life.
that is my conclusion from the details presented.
2007-06-17 16:12:05 · answer #2 · answered by aDrEnAlinE OvErDoZe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when i was growing up you helped family or people to help, or because they were family not for money,i mean they offered a couple of dollars but we never took it, i picked coffee, fed chickens, calf, cow etc in Puerto Rico without expecting a dime, you arent teaching your son good values or to care for his elders, you are going to get old one day too. You dont have to have your son do it all the time but it would nice you can help too or your hubby and so what about her will are you depending or is he depending or waiting to benefit from the money from her will? let it go, its her money her will anyway........I wouldnt even "handle it" cause theres nothing to handle, i mean hello what ever happened to communicating to and with people? I mean i can see how you say she says her son owes her, may be true or not but its her opinion and that is something her son, your husband should address not you and funny cause i bet your husband isnt that worried about it like you are-
2007-06-17 23:26:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's dumb. Your son doesn't owe her anything. If he offered to do it once in a while, then it's okay. But, if she starts expecting it of him without any type of appreciation or payment or something and threatens him as well, then maybe you should have a talk with her. Or, your son can confront her. Either way, she has to know that she's taking advantage of him and threatening to cut him out of the will is only going to make him dislike her more.
2007-06-17 16:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by naz b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MIL Sounds like a real piece of work,if she is so intent on expecting her g/sons to do free yardwork then she needs a reality check bigtime.
So be it if she threatens to dis-inherit whomever she prob would find some other excuse anyway.
Surely a few dollars wouldn't hurt her to pay out coz you get nothing for nothing these days..♥
2007-06-17 16:10:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that your son never asked her for money. But did he get money from her? and did you know about it?
If so, I'd suggest that you pay the money back if you don't want him to do the work. If he accepted money, then yes, he does owe her, morally.
It's not nice of her to give money with strings attached, but that's the way most people work. Nobody gives anything without expecting something in return. It is also not nice to accept money and then not volunteer to do something for whomever gave it. It's just common decency.
2007-06-17 16:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't have all oars in the water. No way he should be mowing an acre for free. Let her beetch and moan all she wants; your son owes her nothing. If she would treat him decently, he would respect and love her, and if she cares for him at all, that would be important to her, not just getting free labor.
2007-06-17 16:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
enable's say you have a daughter, who gets married. You and your spouse are elderly and would't take care of your backyard. He has a backyard mower, or perhaps you have one, and he comes over to diminish your backyard. Then, while he's finished and you're sitting there having a lemonade or a lager, he says to you, "via the way which would be ten funds". could you think of your daughter married a real prick? definite. definite you may. Hell no you do no longer value your mom in regulation to diminish her grass, what are you questioning!??!
2016-09-28 00:04:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your spouse say about this? I would discuss this issue and your feelings on the issue, with your spouse and ask your spouse to protect your son, from his/her over-bearing mother.
I myself would never allow me or my child 2 b manipulated by a threat like being cut from the will... U give in to that kind of crap and u may as well turn in your "Self Respect" card.
2007-06-17 16:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by qstorm61 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to her that IF your husband owes her (and the mere fact that he is her son doesn't make him owe her), that YOUR son does not, and will not do such a huge job without compensation or without being asked first.
I would be careful to even allow him to do it for pay though. It sounds like she would gripe at the way he does it and that would not be good for his self esteem.
2007-06-17 16:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by Carol B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋