Do i have a right to be mad? Pregnancy!?

Question

My girlfriend got pregnant...i use to buy her pills every month...i told her i rather buy her her pills instead of her coming out pregnant...well one she said she wasnt gonna take the pills anymore cause her head hurted...i told her watch when u come out pregnant u'r gonna have headache for life! I would almost bug her and beg her to keep taking her pills...i was the one sending her text messages so she wouldnt forget to take the pills! Well guess what happened.....she came out pregnant! I would tell her that if she came out pregnant that everything was gonna change between me and her.....alot! Well little by little i started changing and little by little distancing from her! Alot of things started happening...more with the inlaws then anybody else! I help her out....i buy everything for my little boy...everything!! My question is....does anybody think i did wrong...or acted wrong? I know it was both our responsibility before she came out pregnant...but i still think it was still her

fault! I was the one buying her,her pills and going the extra mile so she could take her pills on time! And plus i was the one warning her that if she came out pregnant things would change dramatically! We're not together any more but i still take my responsibility seriuos not like all the rest that get them pregnant and leave and never see their kids! So what do u guys think? ESPECIALLY THE LADIES?

Answer 1

if you knew or suspected she was not taking her birth control pills, why did you sleep with her? did you use a back up form of birth control like condoms? i can understand why you are mad because you wanted to trust her, but you should have been smart and used a condom just in case.

Answer 2

You're right, you were suckered. But yeah, it's still half your fault -- what you did wrong was having sex with a girl while knowing that she was an idiot about birth control. No form of birth control is 100%, and you should have been using a condom if you had the slightest suspicion that she wasn't taking her bc pills like she was supposed to. But you didn't, and now you have 18 years of child support and a life-time of connection with another human being.

Basically, you thought you had a free ride for sex by providing the bc pills, and you're angry that she didn't *keep up her end of the bargain*. Why are you having sex with a girl when you *knew* you wouldn't marry her if she got pregnant? Why take that risk?

Answer 3

You did something wrong. . Both of you did, but you are the bigger jerk. Obviously, the pill was causing her health problems and she stopped talking it. It was her right to do so, it's her body and she choice to stop something that was hurting her. She told you and you two still had sex. So, it is sort of your fault, b/c you should have used a condom. But, it's also her fault too.

What makes you the bad guy in this situation is that you are still bitter. It does not matter that you and your girlfriend are not together. That's fine. What's matters is, your a father and you hate it. Actually, by your tone you despise it. That's what makes you the jerk.

If you don't want this little boy, then give up your parental rights. A boy is better off with no father, than one that will be bitter and resentful to him for the rest of his life. Without a father, like you, at least he can thrive. If you are belittling him, you will only mess him up emotionally.

You have to remember; everytime you have sex, even w/ protection, you run the risk of pregnancy.

Answer 4

I think you are a self centered jerk. With all due honesty. If she was having headaches due to the pills she was proably allergic to them and it could cause her long term health problems. How selfish of you.

Even further you are being selfish by having a girl you are not married to perform wifely duties and then when she becomes pregnant by you...you treat her like dung for it? Like you didn't know she quite taking them?!

How is it her fault? You are both at fault and you should had been man enough to stand up and say no to sex outside of marriage.

Shame on you! I don't care if you take care of your son or not she IS now your responsiblity too! Until she finds a man that will treat her well and marries her then she will become his!

Answer 5

No, you don't have the right to be mad. You had the same responsibility as she did and you were taking the same chance. If you weren't ready to be a father, you should have abstained from sex altogether or gone and had a vasectomy. Pills fail. You can't leave birth control up to someone else. You had the option to buy and use condoms, also. Good job on taking the responsibility of a father, but get real. It produced your son. Pick your battles and move on.

Answer 6

It's not her fault you pecker. Yes you acted wrong. I suppose you also thought the pills were enough protection, and that you didn't have to wear a condom eh? I got pregnant on the pill myself, so unless they recently made the pill 100% effective against pregnancy, it's your fault too! If you weren't ready for a kid, you should have kept it in your pants because nothing, NOTHING, not even surgery is 100% effective against preventing pregnancy OR STD's. I do however, have to give you credit for at least being a little bit of a man and accepting responsibility for your actions by helping her financially.

Answer 7

Well it depends. If she doesn't want to take the pill because of the side effects or for whatever reason she has a right not to take the pill. But the two of you should have sat down and worked out an alternative method of contraception (there are many!) I would say you would only really have a right to be mad if she was purposefully trying to get pregnant without your consent. But if you knew she wasn't taking her pills you should have worked out another form of birth control and not had sex with her till you did.

Answer 8

Once she said she wasn't gonna take her pills anymore, you should have been responsible for contraception if you didn't want to have a baby. The pill can have seriously nasty effects on some women, and if they choose not to take something which is affecting them negatively, then that is their choice. You still had the choice available to you to be responsible for your own contraception, but you chose not to be.

I don't think you acted wrong, you can't help it if your feelings have changed, but it's not really fair to blame your ex girlfriend solely for the pregnancy. Well done for taking responsibility for your child now that it has been born.

Answer 9

well as others have said if you were that concerned you should have used a condom. i would promote condom use even if you KNEW she took them everyday on time anyway just to protect the two of you from STD's.

BUT - you are not a dead beat dad! just think about the boy and how you help him not the mother. personally - if you are paying for everything and doing everything for him I would suggest trying to get custody of the boy or at least a set child support amount.

good luck!

Answer 10

Instead of all your warnings about getting pregnant, you should have both gone to a doctor to discuss another form of contraceptive. I had to stop taking my birth control pills because they were making me psychotic, but I checked around for other options. You're both at fault here.