Parents vs True Love... Can you help?

Question

have a major problem! The school year has ended, which seems like a good thing, but it's not. Me and my boyfriend are madly in love with each other, and I know it's true, because he's never tried to get me to have sex with him and we've been together for a while. We also liked each other for several months before we started "going out."

However, my parents disagree... with everything! They say he's too old for me (I'm about to turn 16 and he's 17), and my dad's against us dating because he's Asian.

He's up to their standards, however. He's got money, he can cook, he's smart, sweet, caring, and just a wonderful guy. He makes me so happy! I just wish they would look past his race and let us be together!

They won't let us see each other EVER. They won't even let him come over to my house when they're home.

I'm really frustrated. I just want to see the guy I love before I go INSANE!

Can anyone help?

Answer 1

I think they may think that you dont have the ability to pick guys. I personally think thats bollacks. You need to sit your parents down and discuss it with them, but your also going to need some solid points. Dont bother trying to pin them down with "racist", you will just anger them and gain nothing. Stick to legitimate points like A) how am I going to know whats good for me if i dont experience it B) How can he be too old, its not like he is 21 C) (this is if they dont have good counters to the previous ones) Is the only reason you dont want me going out with him because of his asian decent.

I guess you could also argue that you may be young but you want to experience the world, and by keeping me locked up like this you are creating a social misfit. If you can really present these points without getting angry and in a coherent way the parents should see the logic.

If they dont see reason then i guess you can do what every other teenager your age would do, thats sneak out ^^

Answer 2

A love marriage is a union of two parties based upon affection and a mutual attraction between the individuals. The term opposite to arranged marriage and forced marriage especially in India and the countries near it. In India, love marriages are sometimes called "self-arranged marriages" perhaps to avoid some of the negative opinions that are still held against young people choosing their own partners. Arranged marriage (also called prearranged marriage) is a marriage arranged by someone other than the persons getting married, curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages are common in the Middle East,[citation needed] and South Asia.[citation needed] Other groups that practice this custom include the Unification Movement, and royal families. The match could be selected by parents, a matchmaking agent, matrimonial site, or a trusted third party. In many communities, priests or religious leaders as well as relatives or family friends play a major role in matchmaking.

Answer 3

I don't know if I can help but I half understand your situation. I'm Candian and my gf is Asian(Chinese) so that's how I half understand but I have the advantage that I am living in China. However my parents love her but I am in the same boat in that her parents hate me well actually it would be an improvement if they only hate me. They loath the ground I walk on unless we break up and then they would like me. So it's not that they are racist it's just that they don't want a foreign son-in-law. We have some advantage over you in that she doesn't live with her parents but she does get calls from her mother regularly to break up with me but I am lucky in that my gf just changes the subject or tells her mother that this is not why we are talking. I am not allowed in their home or to meet them. I have been give a small glimmer of hope in that if I can learn their language I may be allowed to met the mother. Anyway back to your problem I suggest talking to your parents calmly. Remind them that you are a responsible girl and that he really is a nice guy and try and see which of your parents is more understanding and arrange for one of your parents to meet him and let them see he is a great guy. Then you will have your mother (she sounds like the more understand one) to help you to fight with you to convince your father. Good luck because I am pulling for you more than you would think a complete stranger would.

Answer 4

the same thing happened to me. i had to make the decision that i would give up my family for him if thats what it took. while i lived under their roof, i saw him as often as i could. once i moved out, i could see him when and where i want. eventually my parents realized it wasnt just gonna go away. they got tired of me leaving family functions early so I could be with him. they decided they wanted to meet him and now they love him to death. they treat him better then me...lol. we've been together for 17 years now and have 2 kids.

some parents will come around....but some will not. you have to decide if he is worth the risk....and hopefully...you are right.

Answer 5

your parents are being stupid and the reason is because they dont want to lose you! keep on loving him and dont let anything get between you two, especially not parents! i know its a tough decision, but true love is a rare thing, and your parents will always be there in the end.ignore your parents sweetie, youll regret it if you dont. and there is absolutely nothing wrong with a non-asian dating an asian! thats your dad being RACIST, just like my dad was when i dated a guy who was half korean. stay strong!!

Answer 6

Thats really sweet about you and your guy! Well i dont want to tell you to go against your parents, but i am going to. My dad likes my boyfriend but hates leaving us alone or letting us go out alone. So we go out in groups! Double date with friends of yours and tell your parents your going out with a girlfriend and just happen to exclude your boyfriend will be there! Stuff like that! They cant get to mad at you cause you didnt really lie!

Answer 7

I am sorry that your parents are being close-minded. However, you do live in their house so you have to abide by their rules. Try to have an honest discussion with them and see if they can meet you halfway. IT is worth a shot. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Obey your parents. They will be there long after the boys leave. If you two still this way when you turn 18 then more power to you.

Answer 9

Try to talk to your parents about why they are so concerned about his race. They seem closed-minded, so this may be difficult, but if you really want to be with this guy that's about all you can do.

Answer 10

Sit down with your parents and tell them everything you have written here and if they dont come around just sneek out.