im 16, hes 21. i need your help.?

Question

i like this guy. a lot actually. except...hes 21, and im 16. i know theres an age gap, and ive tried not to think about him..but hes just incredibly attractive to me. he works with me and i just met him on friday. how do i talk to him, and how do i get him to like me like that too? i talked to him and he was so nice and cute and he kept coming over to where i was sitting. what do i do? and yes, i do understand the risks and consequences of liking someone that much older than me.

please help. i really need it.

okay guys. i get that its illegal. it just sucks.

but how can i become friends with him?
more answers appreciated.
and thanks for the advice.

...wait. is it still illegal if i dont want to have sex with him?

Answer 1

it's illegal, if he were 19 it would be ok. too bad.

Answer 2

I know what you mean...I'm only 13 though..but I'm friends with a 18 yr old guy. He's a really nice guy and since we're friends with the age difference, everyone thinks it's weird.

I think you should talk on the phone, hang out, or talk on aim. Get to know each other better from talking. When I did that with the friend I have now...I found out that we had a lot in common and the stuff that we didn't, that's fine. After knowing each other better, you decide if age doesn't matter if you like each other. My friend and I are just friends. Actually, we pretend we are siblings too. What I hope is that things stay that way because what I think it'll get awkward if I admit he's a little more then a friend.

Im sorry if this doesn't help...it's just my situation.

P.S. And no! It's definately not ilegal to just be friends with someone, even if there is an age difference.

Answer 3

I think that you are too young to date a guy that is 21. If you were a little older, then the 5 year age gap wouldn't matter. A guy is his 20s in at a different stage of life that you are and will probably want different things from the relationship. Also, you are young and probably do not have to much experience in relationships, so you would be in a position where you might get manipulated. Wait a couple of years before you think about dating someone that much older than you. There is 5 years between my partner and I and we have been together for 5 years, we met when I was 18. But I wouldn't have wanted to be any younger, it's been a real learning curve.

Answer 4

The one risk you have is that this guy is a pig... The one jerk I knew in University would lie, cheat, anything just to be that "first time" with a girl and then he would dump her in a few weeks and start a new conquest. I had girlfriends (ex by then) coming to me asking why he wasn't returning calls etc. What a loser!

Some guys, I have known enough guys who's goal was to get notches on their bed posts etc and then the dump and run to the next girl that I would say that any woman that has sex before getting married (married after dating for atleast 15 months or more.) is selling herself short!

The next risk is that he might just like you as a friend and you are putting your heart into something that will just make things akward. 16 to 21 is too much of a Gap.... 19 to 24 is getting better... but there is just too much differences at that age gap... so watch out for yourself.

Good Luck and be the good girl, find the good guy and save it for marriage and live happily ever after.

Todd

Answer 5

My parents did the same thing your doing my dad was 21 and my mom was 16. They got married a year later and have been together for 19 years. That's a happy ended heres a not so happy ending. My dads employ was 19 and having sex with a 15 year old. he was charged with statutory rape and went to jail and lost his job. But nothing is illegal if you don't have sex with him. I don't know what state you live in so I don't know the age of consent. I'm guessing its 18 because here in Nevada its 16. Will if you really like him find out more about him and if you still like him. Wait until its legal.

P.S beware of the older ones tricky and using you.
Will I hoped I helped good luck

Answer 6

IT IS NOT ILLEGAL. I had the same age difference once, and have a larger one now. Act normal, and if he starts acting that he is attracted to you, let him know that you like him as well. Keep your parents into the loop also. If he asks you out, talk to your parents first, then let him know your, and their answer.
Depending on what state, in almost EVERY state, it is NOT ILLEGAL for someone to DATE between the age differences of a 16 to 24 YEARS OLD. A 16 and 21 year old is 100% LEGAL

Answer 7

When i was 17, i was in a relationship with a 25 yr old so yes i totally understand.It is kinda weird to other people but If you feel that way then go with it. However,you cannot force this guy to like you. You need to show him your real self, tell a few jokes perhaps or you could build a friendship first. That way you would get to know him as well as him get to know you. The most important thing is to not push it, let him come to you, if you seem too pushy he will get freaked.

Answer 8

Americans are DAFT!!!
-That's right go out and buy a gun (in a supermarket of all places!) but SEX is disgusting!!!! what planet do you all live on? (This isn't an anti-american rant, I love you guys, but sometimes I get confused!)

I see nothing wrong with the age gap, in the UK it's completely normal and you wouldn't get called loads of names for it.
Personally I think you should do what you feel is right.

I'm so glad I live here....
Where I can cross the road at any section I like without getting arrested. (jaywalking)

Where I can wear my jeans low if I like (louisiana)

Where I can have sex with anyone over 16 without going to jail.

And where I can drink beer over 18


England - the real land of the free!

Answer 9

Its OK. Listen, when I was 25 there was this cute girl who was about 15 who worked over at the pizza place and she'd always give me free slices. One day I came in and she was all by herself and the place was empty, so she asks me if I can help her with something heavy in the back and then we went into the kitchen and.........well, anyway.

If he likes you (which it sounds like he does) just let things happen naturally. Don't get so "up in your head" about it, or you'll start ruining anything before it happens. If your a mature 16 maybe he won't care. If it bother you or you think the guy might be a bad guy then stay away, or at least just keep it friendly (but not too friendly). Just cause it isn't legal doesn't mean you have to be sexual. That's the only part that is illegal. And if you do end up doing "something" DON'T TELL ANYONE! I know telling that to a 16 year old girl is like telling a fish not to swim, but if you don't want to possibly ruin the guys life because you had to tell a secret to a spiteful jealous girlfriend. Wow, thinking about that pizza girl is making me hungry! Time for a pie!

Answer 10

Well, the only problem is the legality. There is no law that says he cannot be your boyfriend. If he has consent from your parents, then it is perfectly legal for him to court you., even marry you. But he cannot have sexual contact with you during the courting. And there is nothing wrong with the age gap either. Look at it this way. When he is 90, you will be 85.

Answer 11

He's probably just being nice. Most guys are not going to go after any girl under 18. If he's accused of having sex with you, he could go to prison and would have to register as a sex offender the rest of his life. I'm sure you're cute and nice, but no girl is worth that. Do him a favor and leave him alone!