I met a extremelty handsome guy on campus. After a couple interactions with him, he started to say he loves me etc. I am conservative and didn't give in to his advance though I am actually very attracted to him. I want to know him more and wait to see if we could have a relationship before sleeping with him. But his attraction to me is so strong, it is almost unlikely to just be friends. He has to try very hard not to lose control around me. The whole class seems watching what was happening between us. Meanwhile, another girl who looks like me started to work on him and he slept with her. I felt hurt right now. Obviously he still strongly attracted to me, and kept watching me during the class and never paid attention to the other girl. Everybody said the guy is using the other girl to get over his sex urge: he has to work with on the group project and cannot afford to lose control. Some said I should have made my move fast, because I didn't the other girl took the chance and got him.
2007-06-17 13:08:13 · 23 answers · asked by Jayjay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You did not make a mistake by not sleeping with him, you held on to your morals and protected yourself from sexually transmitted diseases!
Sleeping with him should never be the solution to your relationship. Sex should never be the start of a relationship. It is okay to be attracted to this person, but him sleeping with a girl that looks like you is a serious burn. If he used another girl to get to you or make up for you, you are soooooo much better off not sleeping with him and sooooo much better off without him. You don't need or derserve a rotten jerk to ruin your life just because you feel lust for him. I say cool it and drop him and let him ruin his own life without you in the bargain.
2007-06-17 13:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by enn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Howard Stern said a few years ago that men had won the sexual revolution and that women were now acting as bad as the guys we used to call pigs. No wonder World Health Org. is talking about how high the Sexually Transmitted Disease are getting... sad! So this other girl is obviously in that category!
You should feel hurt and loose the jerk and find yourself a good guy and save the sex until you are married. If he can't be faithful before you are married he won't be afterwards to he isn't worth you heart, forget the looser and be the good girl that finds the good guy and lives the happily ever after. The "other" type usually end up in divorce and I can give a long list of those that are the good ones and still married and the "other" that are divorced etc.
The one jerk I knew in University would lie, cheat, anything just to be that "first time" with a girl and then he would dump her in a few weeks and start a new conquest. I had girlfriends (ex by then) coming to me asking why he wasn't returning calls etc. What a loser!
Some guys, I have known enough guys who's goal was to get notches on their bed posts etc and then the dump and run to the next girl that I would say that any woman that has sex before getting married (married after dating for atleast 15 months or more.) is selling herself short!
You don't want to be some jerks "stress relief", you want to be someones "love of their life"!!!!!
Good Luck & may God Bless
Todd
2007-06-17 13:25:57 · answer #2 · answered by Pilgrim in the land of the lost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? What you need to do is find someone else. Take your self out of the picture and look at your situation. You like the guy, he likes you too... loves you he says. Then during that time he goes off and sleeps with another girl who he's now ignoring. Are you trying to end up like the other girl? Have him sleep with you then ignore you? There's a difference between having someone love you and having someone be in love with you. Neither of these are true for this guy. To him the word "love" is merely another word. He's only interested in you, he does not love you. Do you really believe that a guy who really love you is would sleep with some other girl and now ignore her because he had to satisfy his sexual urges?
Don't give him anything. Right now you shouldn't even be considering him. You should be extremely upset that he had the audacity to tell you that he loves you then do what he did. If the other girl got him he wouldn't be ignoring her. All she got from him was sex... which most likely meant he got what he wanted from her and now want from you.
2007-06-17 13:28:55 · answer #3 · answered by Stewy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're instincts are right -- you shouldn't have to sleep with a guy before you have a chance to develop a relationship with him. I'd be very wary of a guy who declares "love" and then turns around and sleeps with another girl. He obviously doesn't know what the words means. If he's so sex-starved that he needs to bang someone in order to get through a group project, then he doesn't sound like a good candidate for a serious relationship. Sounds like you have your head on straight. Why would you want to "make a move" on a sex-starved guy you wouldn't be able to trust every time he got an itch in his crotch?
2007-06-17 13:15:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. You made the right choice. Dont feel pressured into having sex or giving up your body until YOU are ready. If he wants to be a playa sex freak then he can do that he will be the one with AIDS STD's amd everything else,not you. so your winning in that case. He is probably using that girl to make you jealous, if you really like this boy let him know how you feel and that you want to get to know him better before you start with the sexual sensations. okay good luck my sweetie <3
2007-06-17 13:14:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, trust me....this was the biggest mistake you DIDN'T MAKE!!!!!!!!!!
You did the right thing. If this guy REALLY cared for you and wanted to be with you, why on earth would he be sleeping with someone else just because she spread her legs?
He's not looking for a relationship, he's looking to get LAID. NOTHING ELSE. That "strong" attraction you said he has for you....it's the desire to take you to bed. Any guy who wants more and any guy who has respect for you, not just lust, is NOT going to run out and bed the first female who comes along when you say no.
Sorry, hon. Wait for a GOOD one.
2007-06-18 10:07:34 · answer #6 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you didn't make a mistake by not sleeping with him. The fact that he slept with another girl to get over his urge only means that he has no discipline. If he really loves you, he should've waited till you're ready to sleep with him.
2007-06-17 13:11:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. If he can't control his "urge", he is not very good relationship material. Attraction is one thing....but going against what you KNOW is right or wrong is another. Continue to use your head. The right guy will come along if you don't "Push" it.
2007-06-17 13:12:47 · answer #8 · answered by Fred J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This guy is bad news. If he had truly loved you, he would have waited for marriage and he would have discussed how to know when the two of you are ready for marriage (financial solvency, emotional preparedness, etc). But he didn't. Cut him loose. Find a guy who will truly love you and respect you.
2007-06-17 13:15:00 · answer #9 · answered by Theodore H 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"using the other girl to get over his sex urge:" What is he an animal?! Can't control himself? Are his hands broken?
No you made the right choice not to sleep with him.
2007-06-17 13:16:44 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋