I'm 22, she's 20. We're in "love". She tells me she wants to live with me and eventually get married together. I love everything about her. But there's 2 things about her that makes me worry about moving in with her and/or marry her. 1) She still keeps about 15-20 pictures of her ex of 2 years (serious relationship) who she broke up 2 years ago. She says it's just to have somthing from her past. She hasnt seen or spoken to him for 2 years. She was the one who got dumped. Should I worry that she might still have feelings for him? 2)She has a lower back tattoo of a butterfly (about 6x5 inches). I can't stand the fact that she wears cloths that constantly show off the tat. She says that she got it to signify the end of her past relationship and that's she's free. I believe her, but at the same time, I worry about the fact that she's not as wholesome as I think she is...
2007-06-17 11:23:57 · 16 answers · asked by Bluedreamer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Since nobody can forecast the future, best thing to do is get over her past because there is nothing you nor she can do to erase it. If she got rid of the pictures and had the tatoo removed, it would still not change the fact that she had a serious relationship two years ago. We all have a past. Some of us are not very proud of what we have done or who we were. The pictures of her and the ex should not bother you as long as the pictures are put away. Pictures of places you went or things you do are just memories. Simple and plain. Tatoos are an ongoing fad and lots of people have them. I dont think her having the tatoo is something that would cause alarm if it were me in your shoes. Best thing for you to do is admit that yes, she had a past, but now I have her and possibly her future. Be happy that you know her past and dont worry so much about it. Its over now. All of us, including you have had a past.
If she hasnt spoken to him in two years, then I would assume that she was over him.
Fact is dude, she has you now, not him. So dont worry,... be happy. Good luck.
2007-06-17 11:35:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you ought to keep on worrying! She seems to still have quite much going on with that ex and it doesn't stand right especially if you're considering shacking up and eventually marrying her. She is very far from being "free" what with the pictures she is clutching onto of him and that enormous illustration scrawled on her back along with the meaning it so erroneously means to her. All this should be enough for you to make you stop dead in your tracks and do some serious soul searching and think about what you are getting involved with here. If you love everything about her, like you say you do, than you better be prepared to love something more that is tacked on here. Namely there is still a third party still playing into this who she really isn't over with. Who in their right mind needs all this stuff to signify an end to a former relationship? After two years that should be plenty of time to have moved on. So if you do decide to get closer to her you better know that you will be sharing her with someone who should have been long forgotten. She sounds like the clingy type that if she gets a hold onto to you, you'll be the next tattoo and she will never let you go nor will you ever have any identity of your own apart from hers.
2007-06-17 11:57:30 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you surely should be worried! 15-20 pics? Yes, right. do you guys even have that many? I could see if she had one or two in a photo album, but 15-20. Ummm...she isn't free as a butterfly because he still has her in a jar. She is truly still tied to this guy. When a woman keeps things from the past, she is holding on to the past. Every time she sees those pics she is reminded of him. How can she move forward when rewinds everytime she looks at the pics. The tatoo, man...he must have really had her. She got a tat in honor of her freedom from him. That's major. Watch out, if he wants her back, he surely will get her! I know you are in love, be sure she is!
2007-06-17 11:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with keeping pics of exes as long as they stored away and not got out regularly to mope over. They are part of our past and in years to come they will provide some great memories for a family tree! You cannot do anything about the tattoo- its there now- your choices are to learn to live with it or end the relationship- if you feel uncomfortable or have doubts then don't continue. I feel your issues are much deeper though and you have serious doubts all round - i don't think this relationship is what you want.
2007-06-17 11:30:08 · answer #4 · answered by the Phoenix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people keep pictures of their ex. It doesn't necessarily mean they miss them or still have feelings towards them, its just a picture of the past. If I threw out every picture with an ex in it, I wouldn't have much to look back on.
Tats are no big deal...a lot of guys aren't even attracted to them. I wouldn't worry about that.
Quit being so overprotective and have some faith!
2007-06-17 11:28:03 · answer #5 · answered by victoria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she isnt over her last bf...honestly if she cant throw away his pics...there is a problem..if i were you i would tell her you dont want to do anything serious (move in together/get married) until she gets rid of the pics and gets over her last relationship...and as far as the tat goes..well if you really love her then it shouldnt bother you that much..Good Luck!
2007-06-17 11:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by keep it simple 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the tattoo is a big deal at all. However, I would be concerned about her holding on to so many pictures of her ex. You guys are so young, I wouldn't focus on marriage so soon. You seem unsure you're in love; you put quotes around it...
2007-06-17 11:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by Kai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. This is the tough one. But, if there is certain things about your gf that really bug you, then you shouldnt get into something so serious with her, because then you will have to live with those things that bother you for the rest of your life, and divorce is not the answer. HAVE HER GET HER TATOO OFF! And tell her your uncomftorble having pics of her ex. Thats the only way to do it!
2007-06-17 11:30:25 · answer #8 · answered by nik t 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You definately don't need to move forward with someone like this. I have been in long serious relationships and afterwards, I didn't get a tattoo to signify my freedom and I definately didn't keep pictures. Pet peeves now, will only get worse so I wouldn't move forward.
2007-06-17 11:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by bigdaddy_matt1978 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a touchy thing but if the two of you are serious have her put the pictures somewhere else where you will not find them, like a friends house or burn them.
2007-06-17 11:29:32 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋