Planning too early?

Question

I'm 21 and my current fiance proposed to me about...a month or two ago. I'm a virgo so I want everything to be perfect on my big day. Every little detail has to be perfect as far as I'm concerned. But here's the thing, the wedding isn't until 2009. I want to start planning the little things but everytime I try to talk to my fiance about the tiniest little detail he gets frustrated and tells me to calm down about it. I don't bring it up all the time, actually I only brought it up maybe once a week and it was about something like "Which season do you like?" or something like that. I wanted him to help me choose a date but he said "It doesn't matter!". We're announcing the engagement at our 4th of July BBQ, and I had to a choose a date without his help, because I want to be able to give everyone a date to go by.(plus we need to start saving up for this event.) Am I being too aggressive? I feel like he just doesn't care...or that I basically forced him into proposing and now he regrets it.

Answer 1

I've been planning my wedding for 6 years. You can buy a wedding planner at any store and do it in pencil so you can make changes. Make your little in th book in pencil and when he is ready you can let him look over it and make suggestions. This is not being too aggressive, but also don't let it turn you into a BRIDEZILLA for heavens sake. If your fiance' takes the stance of "it doesn't matter" then plan what YOU want, then as he complains, ask for suggestions. He will either give you his input or your wedding can be all that YOU want it to be. You by now, should know him well enough to know his likes and dislikes, and if you don't, then you'd better start paying closer attention. Good louck and congratulations!

Answer 2

I don't think you are planning to early. Especially if money is an issue....the longer you plan you can pay for things as you go, so it's not all at once. Plus there is a LOT out there and a lot of decisions to make! But just keep in mind that the more you do now the longer it seems to take to get here, as there are many things that you can't really do until about a month or two out! It might help to kind of make an outline of what you want and go over it with him maybe once a month until things get closer, because I've found that it's easier to decide on things when you and him are ready to talk about it.....not just random questions here and there. It's gets overwhelming for him also even though you are doing a lot of the work, and I know this isn't always the case but some men don't worry about the little details of a wedding as much as women do, so they leave it up to you since you have more of an opinion of what you want!

Good Luck!

Answer 3

You have more than enough time to plan a big wedding. I do wanna bring up some stuff though. My fiance and I are getting married in a few months and we planned ours in about 8 months. No, its not big and blown out but its perfect to us. Next thing, you need to understand and accept the fact that something will go wrong. Something will not go the way you planned it, thats life. My final thoughts, whats more important the wedding or the marriage? Are you going to remember every little detail 30 years from now?

Personally, yeah, ur being too aggressive. If I were him I'd be frustrated and annoyed. I don't know if he really wants to get married or not, that's an issue u hafta talk to him about, but I think if you keep up at this pace, ur gonna end up ur own worst enemy and ur wedding won't have any joy left in it.

Answer 4

I definitely don't think you're planning too early. This way when the big day arrives you won't be stressed out because everything will already have been carefully planned out. Plus this way everything should go perfectly, I understand that you want that. (although it has nothing to do with you being a virgo...)
I highly doubt that your fiance is getting frustrated because he regrets proposing. Guys just don't care about this stuff. They're weird. Just gonna have to live with it, sorry. Guys are like that. Few guys help plan for their weddings. I betcha for all he cares you could be getting married in a cardboard box. That's nothing to worry about though! Another thing, without his planning you can pick any date, detail, location, food choice, etc. that you want! More power to ya! And THAT is a good thing! LOL You can do whatever and go wherever you want with this wedding! You will never have to compromise any details out with him--all you have to do it what YOU want. Besides, the weddings are all about the bride. No one really ever cares about the groom. LOL Just don't bug him about it. Only include him in the major details, ya know? After all, that's what he's asking for. This way you can both get what you want.

Answer 5

you will stress out anyway, when the day comes. So don't stress out about not stressing out.

I understand about being with a guy who doesn't want to talk about the date. I asked mine why, and he told me he can only really think about one thing at a time and right now he is focused on winning a jazz harp competition, and doesn't want to think about another big project.

I asked him to set a date with me, because ours is closer than two years. And I am taking care of the rest, until he is ready. Remember traditions are often come about naturally, there may be a reason WHY men were not part of the long term wedding planning. Narrow things down to two things ... do you like A or B, spring or summer, church or winery etc. But when it comes to little things, or narrowing the choices down take a lady with you and go have fun.

My fiance is a wedding harpist and we do bridal shows in N. California, and I can tell you 90% of the grooms to be look bored and like they would rather be somewhere else. Unless the wedding is within two months.


happy wedding

Answer 6

I personally think it is to early, I got engaged October 2005 and we are getting married on Thursday. I knew he was going to pop the question so I really started planning Feb. 2005!! That was really early. By the time I knew it I had everything planned out in six months and all I could do was sit back and wait. I was ready to pull my hair out. I would say just figure out what season and where you want the wedding and you will have more then though time with 1 year planning. Good luck and congratulations.

As for your fiance, don't worry about him to much, honestly guys don't like to be bothered with the small things AND be reminded about it, even if it just once a week.

Answer 7

OMG!! This is exactly what i went though!! I got engaged New Years Eve 2006 and our wedding is October 20, 07. I got sooooo much grief from everybody for trying to plan so early. I only have 4 months left and still hear people say "why are you doing that already"?! ALOT of work is involved in planning a wedding. Most vendors such as limo and dj's are no doubt booked as early as a year in advance. By getting little things here and there now, it won't be such a big "blow" when it's time to fork out the money later. I made alot of my reception stuff(favors,pew markers) during the beginning of the engagement. The only possible problem with this could be your vision of what you want at your wedding. For example, i origainally wanted a Princess theme so i went and bought certain materials and flowers. Now i want a fall theme full of pumpkins, leaves and ghourds. Big differance!!! So, needless to say that i had to buy certain things twice. In a nutshell, be positive about the vision you want so you can start little things early.
Don't worry about your fiance. Mine thought going for his tux fitting a week ago was still to early but now is all freaked out that it won't be ready until the week of the wedding. I soo wanted to tell him, i told you so! haha. Instead of bringing the wedding up alot, wait until it's just you and him(out to dinner or a romantic night at home) and simply say "I have this vision of the wedding, for me to even begin to plan i would like your ideas on things like colors, and even the date!" "I just need to know what you like or don't like and i'll take it from there". Then just leave him out of it until he starts talking about the wedding to friends or relatives.
Good luck and congrats!!!!

Answer 8

Well, you can't really pick a date since most places will only book a year or so in advance. Plus, he's a guy. Chances are that he seriously doesn't care and all he wants to know is where to show up and when. You have 2 years to plan....relax. You don't need to have a specific date to start planning, put aside $100 a month or whatever.

BTW, mentioning the wedding once a week IS considered bringing it up all the time :)

Answer 9

Maybe the reason why the date for the wedding was set so late is because he loves you, wants to marry you, and wanted you to know that he did. But he is not ready right now, so with a date like 2009, which is years away from now, he would feel like it would give your relationship a chance to really prove itself and give him the time that he needs. I would stop pressuring him for right now.
Since your really excited, any girl would be, why dont you just figure out all the things that you want to be done for the wedding and remember them until like 2008 so that is a reasonable amount of time for you two to talk about them, and you already know what you want.
good luck!!

Answer 10

The sooner you plan the wedding the less stressful it will be come crunch time.

Talk to him.

Even though its in 2009 a date would be a good place to start.

Depending on where you want it you need to reserve it at least a year in advance.