is it ok to date a christan if ur an atheist?

Question

ok so theres a boy who i like and he likes me but i think he wuld have a problem bc he is a christan and im an atheist i can see where he wuld be worried but i dont think thats the most important thing!!! have u ever been in a relatonship wit sumone who beleived different then u and what advice wuld u give me???

Answer 1

The healthiest, longest lasting and most loving relationship I was ever in was with someone who didn’t believe in God. He understood my need to believe in a higher power and I understood his intellectual skepticism. We had a lot of respect for each other as unique individuals and that was what made the relationship work. Sure we’d fight about it every now and then but for the most part we could discuss these issues level-headedly.

When we broke up it had nothing to do with religion, although I will acknowledge that if we had stayed together for longer it would have become an issue. Especially if we had been talking about marriage, the fact that I’m a Christian and he’s an agnostic atheist would have really become quite relevant.

My advice to you is to know what you’re getting into. Talk to him specifically about what you each believe and why you believe it. Make sure that you won’t belittle him for his beliefs and he won’t judge you for yours. At your young age you won’t have to worry about things such as marriage quite yet, but keep in mind that it’s hard loving and caring for someone who, once all is said and done, you think is wrong about such important things like the nature of the universe and the meaning of life.

Answer 2

My turn. Ok I have a Satanic Bible and I've read it a good amount of times. I used to be real into that stuff back in da day. Honestly the kind of satanic he is isn't satanic in the way you or any other reasonably minded person would consider satanic. Sure, maybe in your view of God and the Bible, he's going straight to hell. No doubt about it. But he's most likely an intelligent and decent guy. And I don't know about you but the point of being a christian is bottom line following Jesus. Now if you look into ALL the accounts of Jesus and not just the ones the Catholic Church threw into the Bible (and there are a lot) you'll see Jesus in a totally different light. And (in my own opinion) Jesus wouldn't agree with any of these Christian morals and rules that developed hundreds of years after his death. He came here to show us that there was a way out of eternal suffering in the afterlife and that's through good deeds, soul searching, and love for everyone no matter who they are. No matter if they hurt you, insult you, or if their views differ from your own. This guys your friend, dammit. Don't forget that. You shouldn't even be asking this question. You know this guy better than any of us on yahoo answers. You decide.

Answer 3

My girlfriend was an agnostic (I'm an atheist) but both of her parents were fundamentalist Christians and they had no idea she didn't feel the same way. When I was eating at her house they asked me questions about what church I went to etc. Luckily my girlfriend was a good improviser and leapt to my rescue. It did create a lot of awkwardness though.

I reckon if you both like each other you won't have a problem, as long as he can accept you as you are. Tell him from the outset that you know your own mind on this issue and you aren't prepared to change it. If he respects that then you two could have a great future together. If religion is too important to him and he can't get over your atheism then just move on and find someone who will accept you for you.

Answer 4

Yes. Atheist by definition is the belief in no Gods and thats it, We dont need any rule book to become one. No where does it say you cant date anyone who has different beliefs than you. Now the christians.... thats another story. I can tell you right now though, that it would go against our natural biological reproduction if we were to only have kids with someone who had the same beliefs as us. Imagine if there were two last people on the entire planet, man and woman, and the man who was christian didnt want to procreate because of his beliefs (or vise versa). That would be ignorant to the existence of the human race.

p.s. I suggest you give it a shot, dont let God stop you from loving someone else.

Answer 5

I wasn't going to answer this but I had to after reading the answer. I was screaming in my head "we don't know him." The only one who would know if he has a problem dating someone outside his faith is HIM. Not one person here knows how important it is to him. I think a lot of people were answering based on THEIR beliefs, not about you.

Don't make assumptions....to me every good relationship starts with a friendship to get to know him. In getting to know him I'm sure you'll talk about religion and you can find out how important this is to him or not. Plus you both will get to know each other better on all sorts of things. The worst case scenario is you make a friend and you realize you won't click together IF it is something he would have a problem with. But who knows...maybe there is something beyond religion that doesn't make it seem right for either of you.

The very best advice I can give is just get to know him, talk to him and see where it goes. Be honest, see how he feels and you will can find out what he feels and see where it goes. Don't just assume anything....find out! Best of luck with it. I hope whatever is right for the 2 of you is what happens!

Answer 6

Listen Tessy, you are gonna have alot of Christians tell you no because they think you will somehow lure this young man away from his faith. That is totally understandable. Here is what I would do:

First, you two should have a very long talk - and you need to make a committment to EACH OTHER that you will not argue about religion. Assure him that you are not going to be angry if he has church activities and things to do for church. You also need to be sure that you are not jealous of the time he spends with other girls at youth group activities and at church.

Second, talk with his parents. You need to be sure that they know you are not trying to take their son away from his faith. They also need to know that being an athiest does not mean you are not a moral person - so you need to tell them that you are not going to use/abuse substances or alcohol.

Third, you have to be supportive of your boyfriend and his family in their church involvement. If your boyfriend is singing a solo or doing something at church, go with him. Go to youth activities if you are welcome.

Remember that you are going to feel like an outsider at times. That is okay - after people realize you are totally cool, they will warm up to you.

As long as you are respectful of his faith choice and he is respectful of your choice, then you can date.

One more thing - it is never right to encourage your boyfriend to go against his parents. If his parents are not sure if he should date you, it is YOUR responsibility to respect their wishes. Of course, if they would sit down with you and have a chat, that might be a good way for them to get to know you.

For Christians, often it is more important that their children date and marry other Christians. If you are going to date this young man, you need to be very honest with his family.

ADDED: For those Christians who are saying no here, I would remcommend they go back and read NEHEMIAH.

Answer 7

xD

Tell him it truly is trivial. There is so much more to a couple than their religious beliefs. Of course it might make spiritual matters a little awkward, but come on, you're kids, that's hardly important.

I dated a Jew and I'm an agnostic/being raised Catholic. You just have to respect each other's beliefs.

If he won't date you just because your beliefs are different than his then, believe me hon, you don't need him!


Edit: To The Online Church- Can you have dark without light? Do shadows not exist without the light? If there were to be no darkness, would we know what light is? Light weds dark, they belong together. So your quote is yucky.

Answer 8

He should have a problem with that given that the Bible says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" 1Cor 6:14,15

Ask him what he thinks of that verse.

Answer 9

You're young.

Talk to as many types of boys as you can - Christians, Jews, Buddhists, agnostics, etc. Life is way too short to exclude people that you like because of religion. Every one I know has said "I would never date X type of person" only to end up datng the very same type, myself included. They only requirements should be is that you like them and they respect you back.

Other than that, dating is like Baskin Robins - the more flavors you try, the richer your experiences with ice cream.

Answer 10

You are only thinking of dating this boy, not marrying him lol! Be who you are and let him be who he is. Talk to one another and find out about one another. Don't start trying to change things before they even get started. People should be people first and products of a religious belief only when absolutely necessary - if ever. Have fun and enjoy your friendship. I wish you well.