FAMILY problems. Help please, I beg you.?

Question

If my grandmas boyfriend said bad things about my (dead) grandpa, and make racial remarks to my sister and talks smack about everyone in the family to other family members in the family is my mom justified in my sister home early from her summer stay at grandmas house? And should we confront my grandma on what hes doing to us? They have been together for six years. ADVICE PLEASE!!!

Answer 1

Alcohol at these family events has a way of making it much easier for everybody to share their true feelings.

"Whiskey don't make liars..."

Maybe start with a drinking game to get everybody lubed up, and then say, "[Grandma's Boyfriend], let me tell you somethin..." It will follow its natural progression from there on out.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Carlie,

Of course your mom is justified in bringing your sister home. No one should have to stay in an abusive setting. As a matter of fact, your mom shouldn't let you guys go back over there until either he gets help or Grandma leaves him.

Yes, I would definitely confront Grandma. She needs to know, if she doesn't already and if she does know, she might let you know if he is abusing her as well.

Answer 3

Wow what a boyfriend, well if your grandmother is thinking about taking the relationship to marridge ...then she should realy talk to him. Thats not right talking smack about his girlfriends family. You realy should talk to your grandma and she would probably sit down and give him a talk ,and I hope every thing works out the best for you.

Answer 4

Um yes you deff need to tell you Grandma what is going on..that is absolutley not right for him to just start talking smack about everybody...and if they've been together for 6 years...he should respect your Grandma by respecting your family...

Answer 5

I think that there would be nothing wrong with having an open conversation with your grandma about your concerns. Tell her that what her boyfriend has been saying has hurt and confused you, and that you don't know what to do.

I don't know if it would be a good idea to record one of his tirades to play back for your grandma so she can hear for herself. Just an idea...

Answer 6

The question got a bit confusing, I think you need to rewrite it. Anyway I think the grandma is a bitter old woman so the best thing to do is ignore her and have nothing to do her. Don't visit, talk or have any contact with her.

Answer 7

Yes like Peggy B. said she probably already knows but she overlooks it and will continue to. because older people are afraid of being alone so she will put up with remarks perhaps he does the same or worse to her when your not around. sounds like a abusive man.

Answer 8

If the marriage was bad between them before he died that may be that he is trying to show that he cares for a woman more than your grandfather did, but if not then you should confront them and say if they cant say anything nice they shouldnt say anything at all because it hurts your feelings, she may allow it because its her way of still getting over him dying. Tell him to grow up and tell her youve had more mature relationships than theirs.

Answer 9

Does your grandmother know how her boyfriend acts? Probably she does.
It's up to you whether you want to visit there under the circumstances. By all means tell your grandmother, but you don't have to get mad or dramatic. Tell her you miss her but you are not coming around if her boyfriend is there. Unless you are willing to put up with it!

Answer 10

Hi,
My name is Jackie. I suggest that you should tell your grandmother what her boyfriend is doing to you and your family. Just because they are together doesn't mean that you could just let her boyfriend ruin your whole family. You should just confront your grandmother and tell her what is happening. Nice talking to you! =]