I need everyone's advice .......?

Question

I am married with 2 girls and work full time , and I need some alone time , but my hubby thinks that I just need to spend time with our girls, thats my alone time, I have to dissagree with him
I mean I just want alone time to watch a movie and get my nails done , and just try to relax from my busy life ,, what do you think, about that 10-points for the best answer....

o.k my girls are 18 and 10 but I think that I am a great mom , I run home to be with them, thay are my world,,,,,,

Answer 1

Whoever believes that he or she needs "alone time" needs it, end of story. That request has to be respected, plus it appears to me that the dad could use your alone time to find bonding time with his daughters. I think it's ESSENTIAL for people to find balance in the home, and I guarantee you that probably every competent "self-help" book on marriage would agree with you.

One approach to doing this is to have a scheduled evening of time where you take care of yourself. This could just as easily be "Dad's time" with the girls. If he does not like the idea of "Dad time", then simply let the girls know what your evening is for. It's not like they need your constant care at this age. For balance, what is good for you is also good for your husband and kids, so allow them the same occasional space that you are asking. Based on what you wrote, I think your request is not only reasonable, but necessary for personal balance.
DP

Answer 2

Sure you love your childre, I have 3 kids, 13, 11 and 7 and work fulltime. My husband helps out with picking them up from activities and helps around the house. I get alone time most of the time on the weekends. It might involve me doing something with my daughter but that is ok, she is older and likes to do the same things as me. He usually takes the boys and does something that they like to do such as fishing and crabbing. Maybe he feels that since they are girls you should do things with them not him. Though this isn't true alot of fathers think this way. Make an appointment to get your nails done and just go let him take care of the 10 year old. You much do this for yourself as well as them. It makes you a much better person in side when you get that alone time once in a while.

Answer 3

If your girls are 18 and 10 - they should be able to handle being home alone for an hour or so. I have two girls 12 and 10 and they are okay with giving me some alone time. They just read a book or watch a movie in their room.

Answer 4

I dissagree with him also, obviously he's getting some time alone if you're watching the girls, the tables should be turned on him. Working full time and then spending time with children makes it always feel like 2 full time jobs, he's going to have to give you time or else you're going to have a breakdown from stress.

Answer 5

What men don't understand is that being a house wife is just is hard as going out of the home and working. you are at with 2 girls is hard enough so just asking for some alone time should be no problem because you very well deserve it and that should not be an issue as long as the household is in order and the kids are taking care of i don't see what the problem is.........

Answer 6

Of course, you need down time. How can you have that when you have one eye on the girls? I have a friend who gets off work at 5:00. She goes home, relaxes for around 45 minutes, and then picks the kids up from daycare around 6:00. It is a time she cherishes.... no kids, husband, phone, radio, TV,.... just quiet time. For the remaider of the evening she is not so tired and is more patient with her family. You and every working mom needs to find that same down time. It's not just about relaxing but aso about reflecting and recharging. I hope your husband can can a grip on that.

Answer 7

I agree with you, we all need to relax every once in awhile however we can. We don't have kids but my boyfriend and I live together, almost a year now. I work full time, go to graduate school about an hour away twice a week, take care of the house and volunteer on a Board of Directors for a local recreation center; I am in charge of the lifeguards and operations plus I squeeze the gym in. WHEW, just writing all that makes me tired. We also need to unwind however it is, pedis, pool, spa, whatever, because when women don't function to their highest potential due to stress, everyone in the family suffers. Take your breaks and don't ask him to go, just make the appt. and go, your girls are older, they are more self sufficient and I bet you spend plenty of quality time together. Good luck!!

Answer 8

I think ur husband believes that takin the girls with u is alone time bc it would be all girls, like a girls night out, he needs to realize that that is not what u r meaning. I am 27 with my first child , he is 8 months old, and my husband took our son out for a day to give me time to myself. U need to explain to you hubby that everybody deserves to have a me time with no kids,hubby,or work every once in a while. U could also tell your hubby that if he would give u your me time that he could have a me time for him as well, even if it turns out to be with his girls or even if he ends up having a guys night out. U deserve because I remember being a teenager that age.

Answer 9

Well, I would say do your nails alone, and take the girls to a movie. I don't have a man or a kid, but I would spend as much time with them as I could but I understand this problem! Have your husband spend time with them if you can't!

Answer 10

everyone needs alone time...and that means alone...if you spend a great deal of your time with your girls then you deserve to have it...it is good for everyone..not just you...you will be a better and more patient mom if you have it...and your husband, well he get alone time right? oh i am sure it does...so if he wont help you to get this time you need and deserve, enlist a friend or a family member to take your girls for a day...and you use this time for you and only you do whatever you want....you need this....good luck and don't settle with anything but what you need in your life to...making everyone else happy in your life,,,is not what you are here for.....make yourself happy too.....