My pervy uncle..i need advice?

Question

Well basically everytime i went round my aunt and uncles house my uncle would touch me,like grab me but grab my chest e.t.c and when i told him to stop and get off he wouldn't.Also he has asked me many personal questions and said things to me he should NOT have been saying.
I cancelled going away to Glasgow with them because of this but now he has bad mouthed me to my aunt and i have also lost her.What do you think is the right thing to do? My parents don't talk to either of them but they have thought about me maybe writing a letter to my aunt to explain all this.What do you think i should do?

Answer 1

Report him to the police. Believe me, you won't be exclusive to this abuse. As for your aunt, she may not believe you or might choose to turn a blind eye to her husbands treachery, but you must tell her to at least sow the seeds of doubt. Most of all, tell your parents, if you haven't already, they love you. If your aunt sides with her husband ,then you can live without them.. You don't need people like that. Live your life. Don't let anyone mess with you. They are the ones in the wrong. They are the ones who will be in trouble. Take care

Answer 2

You don't say how old you are not that it matters the advice I am giving would be the same you feel what is happening is wrong therefore it is wrong
!st TELL your mum AND dad
2nd report him
3rd never go near him again Write to your aunt get it all out in the open you can get help not only for yourself but him & anyone that may come along after you

Answer 3

Wow. What a sick f*#k. You did the right thing. I'm glad you cancelled.
It's a hard thing. If you tell your aunt he's a perv, what is she suppossed to do with the info? If she doesn't know, she'll either believe you and that will start trouble between them, or she won't believe you and you'll have even more trouble between you and her.
Are you close to them? If you aren't close to your aunt and uncle, I'd keep it that way.
You need to look at your motivation for telling your aunt he's a perv. I'm not saying this is wrong, mind you, I just want you to be clear. Telling her because you are worried about him going after another family member has a different intent than telling her because you're mad at your uncle. See?
It's a hard thing. You'll have to really think about the best way to handle this. I'd talk it over some more with your folks.
If you have family functions in the future, I'd make sure you're never alone with him. If he asks you questions that make you uncomfortable, tell him! Take the upper hand and tell him you don't think that is an appropriate question and if he persists tell him you're going to call another adult over to hear his question. Let him know that if he continues to be inappropriate you're going to tell him wife (if you havent' already). That may cool him off. Pervs pick on the weak. If you are empowered and face him with the full force of your convictions, he'll most likely give you wide berth.
If you really feel it is the right thing to tell her, then by all means do it.
The caveat here is, don't be surprised if she doesn't believe you, or gets mad at you. I'm not saying she will, but alot of people are in denial about the things they don't like and it's easier to lash out at somebody than to do something about it. This is a very serious charge and it will change things.
You have to do what is right for you. If you want to tell her because you strongly feel it's the right thing to do, then do it. do it because you feel it's right, not because your parents suggested it.
Remember, you don't have to solve this right now. Take your time. Sleep on it, mull it over. Sometimes when I have a hard decision to make, I pick one option and pretend that is what I've really chosen and act like I've made my choice. I sleep on it and try it on for size. If it still fits after a couple of days, then I know it's the right decision.
You can write the letter, then decide whether or not to mail it. sometimes just writing the letter will put things in perspective for you. Kind of gets things off your chest so you can think more clearly.
Yuck, what a creep! I'm so glad you changed your plans. Good for you! Be strong. Best of luck to you in all you chose to do.
I read the comments about going to the police. How do you feel about this?
I like the idea of having your father have a conversation with him and telling him to leave you alone. I think that is very appropriate, and I think your father should consider it. He doesn't have to be mean, but very matter of fact about what he expects as far as the the language your uncle uses, the questions he asks you and to refrain from any touching. He has no reason to touch you. Your dad should be very specific about what he will do if uncle crosses the line, and be prepared to do it.
Whatever you decide to do about the letter, i think it's important to have your mom and dad support you. If you are a minor, they should definately be activley involved. Definately have your dad call. Mention in your letter that your parents felt like you should write your aunt and tell her. Not to put them on the hook, but to let everyone know that your parents are involved.

Answer 4

If you were underage when this happened, report it to the police. Now, it is likely that your aunt knows he is a pervert but doesn't want to admit it. If this is the case, she is almost worse than he is.
But just in case she doesn't know, you can tell her or write to her. Don't write down anything you wouldn't want others to hear about, though.
If she dumps your uncle, you can be friends with your aunt. If not, you will be better off avoiding both of them.

Answer 5

Don't write any letters...they can always be snatched before the person who you wrote it to gets it.

A direct face to face with this 'uncle' - probably a NAMBLA card carrying member, but nevertheless - telling him to knock it off or you're going to report him to others, will cool his jets.

Also, do make sure other adults know about this and do get involved. Who else might he be doing this with when you're not around, huh?!

Don't consider yourself a snitch or anything...Actually you're quite brave because it does take a lot to ask for this kind of help from anyone.

And so this isn't for a young guy such as yourself to be carrying the burden of all this crap alone on your shoulders. Good luck, eh?!

Answer 6

Do your parents know what he has been doing? You could write a letter to her but really I think you should get your parents to talk to your Aunty privately about what he has been doing to you. I would also contact the police. Don't confront your Aunt and Uncle alone make sure you have an adult family member with you. Also you could get advise from childline it's confidential and you don't have to give your name or any details to them. The number is 0800 11 11. Really I think it is your parents responsibility to deal with this.

Answer 7

Yes, write a letter if you feel it will do some good, but I'm willing to bet your aunt knows all about her husbands behavior. I think the fact that your parents don't speak to them is very telling. Write her the letter and if things don't change, which I doubt they will, then refuse to visit her when he's around.

Answer 8

you go to your aunt face to face and tell her everything that has happened. if she chooses not take side with you or not to believe you that is her decision but he will eventually get caught. if she takes your side that's great. don't go to her thinking she will be on your side though. what i mean is don't take her decision personal. she may feel shocked at first and not know what to do. you do need to tell someone though. what if he does this to another family member but takes it further than touching. you have the opportunity to stop him before he gets the next person. good luck. you are awesome for telling your parents some people would be to scared and not want to talk about it.

Answer 9

Please forget making any contact with either your aunt or uncle. You have quite obviously told him to stop and he hasn't, so he needs to be stopped.

Make contact with childline or the police, either will give you advice on whether this needs to be taken further. Think, if this man is doing this to you it is likely that he is doing it to others.

You sound like you have spoken with your parents, so I am sure they will support you.

Good luck

Answer 10

You did the right thing... Hit the gym or take up a discipline, and the next time that nonce tries anything, give him a swift right hook, alternatively take the civil approach and let your parents and your aunt know or go to the police and see if he is on the sex offenders list.

Preferably I would go for the first one!

Good Luck