I have this obsessive compulsion with remembering past haunts and things that happened in the past. I think I may really need help cus now things seem to be spiraling out of control.
The two weeks I had been going thru my wife's e-mail without her knowledge. I found e-mails from past lovers and such, and though it hurt after I read them I knew I deserved that pain. I was able to process it bcos I knew this happened before me. Until last night, when I fell into temptation again and checked her mail while she was sleeping.
I never found any evidence of cheating on her part, but I saw a mail about her expecting some guy over to her place who was coming out of town. The tone of the email was affectionate and she said she couldn't wait to see him. However, this mail was dated around the time we had just started getting romantically involved. 3 weeks later from that date, we decided to be exclusive.
Why is this bothering me & how do I make it stop? HELP, reasoned advice needed!!!
2007-06-17 04:10:50 · 4 answers · asked by blackadam21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, it's bothering you, because it drives you crazy to think about anyone else being with your wife. That's normal. You love her.
The email was from right when you guys started getting really involved, it honestly probably doesnt mean anything to her today. If you were to ask her about it, she would be very hurt any betrayed that you went through her email.
I would stay out of her inbox, and try to move past this. After all, she's with you because she trusts you and wants to be with you. I think maybe you should do the same, instead of rifling through her old emails to old flames. Give her as much credit, as she's giving you, man.
....Just my 2 cents....
2007-06-17 04:20:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard the saying, "curiosity killed the cat"? You shouldn't have been snooping around her email in the first place. What were you expecting to find? Clues that she cheated? Well now that you found possibly something, you can't handle it???
Hmmmn, I think you don't need to be in a relationship at all. You need to look deep into the source of all your insecurities. If you don't get this self-destructive habit resolved, I gaurantee you will continuosly find things to be disatisfied with........whether it be an email, phone call, business meeting.........ANYTHING your wife can possibly be involved with. Do you love her? If you truly do, you should trust her completely and stop sticking your nose in places it don't belong. Thats why its called THE PAST. You're her present so stop acting crazy or YOU will become part of her PAST too.
2007-06-17 11:22:32 · answer #2 · answered by Lonely Love 06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your invasion of her privacy is a sign of a problem. Either your gut is telling you not to trust her, or your brain is being paranoid. The only way you are going to figure this out is talk to a professional. Sometimes it is really hard to tell what is coming from your gut and what is coming from some dysfunctional thoughts created by past negative experiences.
Either way snooping through her email behind her back is not a healthy thing to do in a relationship. You need to seek help.
2007-06-17 11:18:59 · answer #3 · answered by crct2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a very good idea to keep an eye on your spouses email, IM's and chat room activity. Cheating is ramped in those areas. Marriages all over the world are being ruined with on line infidelity.
2007-06-17 11:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋