Strange request from new lover, what shall I do?

Question

I've recently started seeing a very nice man, loads of sexual chemistry and we also get on emotionally and are intellectual equals. The other day he suggested doing some rather strange things with food during our 'playtimes'. Not sure what to make of this request, I don't mind obliging but I'm a little concerned he could get kinkier. What should I do? Shall I go along with his ideas but tell him how I feel or should I just say no?

Just to clarify, I am perfectly comortable with doing the things he suggested. The foodstuffs suggested are strawberries, cream, Champagne, chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, honey, bananas and chocolate bars.

Answer 1

What do you mean "say no?" Your partner is telling you what he likes.

If my bird said no to me in the bedroom she would by my ex partner in the morning.

I suggest you do what you are told and concentrate on pleasing your guy like you are supposed to.


.

Answer 2

If you don't want to, just say no.
That said, it can be great fun! If you're sure, why not try it and see if you like it? You can explain to him that you're not sure you're comfortable with it/that it's your thing, but you'll have a go. Afterwards, see what you think.
Remember, you are equals. Both of you have the right to say no to anything the other suggests.
But if you have some kinkier fantasies, it might be a good thing to ask in return :) Like "yes, I'll do weird things with food if I can tie you up afterwards" type thing. On the other hand, you might just prefer vanilla. Nothing wrong with that :) Sex is very personal and you should only do what you are comfortable with. You always have the right to say no, or that you don't want to do something any more.
Hope this helps, and good luck! :)

Answer 3

Yeah it will get kinkier all right. This guy is looking for a sex toy and you are it. If you're not looking for a real relationship then try it and experiment and have fun. If you want anything beyond that you won't get it from him. You're just the flavor of the month. This guy likes variety and trying new things....new people....etc.
I doubt this guy is caring if you're connected emotionally or intellectually. He's just saying that to get in your pants is what my instincts tell me. He just wants a plaything with a girl who's open-minded. You just have to decided how open you're willing to be. He's bringing it up so soon because he's testing the waters. You haven't even been seeing each other long enough to need to spice up your sex life.

Answer 4

go for it but u should make the rules the first go and explain that u are tentative but willing to experiment if yall take it at a pace u are comfortable with. u'll never know if ur going to enjoy or dislike it if u dont try at least once. if u dont like it at least both he and u know the limits. maybe if yall stay together yall can give it another go if he still desires to bring 'toys' during 'playtimes'.
and dont ever do something thrice if u are uncomfortable with it.

he made a mistake though he should of just brought them into playtime in the middle of the action and been spontaneus with it

Answer 5

I'd say that if you are comfortable with his requests, go for it. But the moment you begin to feel even slightly uncomfortable, let him know and stop. It's also a really good idea to have a talk with him about the sexual aspect of you relationship and lay down the do's, don'ts and maybes right off the bat. If you can have sex with a guy, you should be able to talk about sex with that guy. G'luck

Answer 6

It sounds like you don't like the idea. You should never do something that makes you uneasy/ uncomfortable. As a woman never ever do something rather it is in bed or out of bed that you do not care to do. If he is a "very nice man", like you claim him to be, then he will understand completely, and then he will leave the issue alone. Oh, yea! Good luck on your new found love connection.

Answer 7

Tell him how you feel. If he's a caring person who respects you he should take your feelings into account. If he isn't then maybe he's not the person for you. If you feel like giving the food thing a go then give it a try but do so on the understanding that if you don't like it then you should never be subjected to pressure to go along with it. Pressure of any kind will ruin your sex life - unless you are the sort of person who likes domination...

Answer 8

Why not? You may enjoy it! If it doesn't make you uncomfortable and you do want to please this man, then I say go for it! If he suggests more out of the box ideas then you can just tell him honestly that they don't make you comfortable. Keep learning and having fun until something comes up that you don't like at which point you just say no. I am sure he will respect you wishes since you are such a open-minded person who is willing to try other things to make him happy! Good Luck :)

Answer 9

Think and talk to him about "deal breakers". Talk to him about your limits. And, don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable! tell him!! Communication being the key! Keep your values and make them known to him. Your relationship is still new, a time to learn about each other, and what makes each other tick. Think...do you want a life like this? Will his kinkiness get worse as time goes on? He might need more and more kink as time goes on....be wise and be a lady. Keep your self-worth.

Answer 10

My only suggestion to you is this. Remember when you were a kid, and your parents told you to just 'hold it a bit longer, we'll be at a rest stop soon'? and you held it for what seemed a gazillion miles? Once you hit 35, you won't be able to hold it nearly as long as you once did. Age and gravity work wonders at getting us to hurry occasionally.
Therefore, do not allow anything larger than your pinky to be inserted into your anus. This way, when you crap yourself as a 60 yr old, you won't have to wonder if it was because you got your sphincter loosened. ;)

Answer 11

first of all, i think you should both discuss things, instead of diving straight in, you may find out he is only doing these kinky things to impress you. let him know your true feelings, and if he cares about you he will respect you.

if you want to be a bit more kinkier, then try low key things at first rather than jumping straight into the deep end. such as try challenging sex positions.