I loved a girl for 4years and now she is telling that she will not come to me leaving her parents ....?

Question

I loved a girl for 4years and now she is telling that she will not come to me leaving her parents ....she wants to leave me...and marry some one else....what should i do? lots of bad thoughts are coming in my mind..what should i do?

we loved each other more then anything in this world,we even thought to get married in this year but suddenly she told me that she can't leave her parents for me.She just played with me for 4years.I never ever thought that she can do this with me.I never ever look at any gilr after she comes in my life.Its really easy to say to 4get everything,to get a new girl but the practical is totally.i know I will never be able to touch any girl,as it will remember her..I really don't know what to do now????

Answer 1

U can't do anything. IF her mind is made up, then it's best that u let her go. Wish her all the best in ur heart. I'm sure it was a hard decision for her as well. Lets just say that for arguement sake, that she really did love u, and when her folks told her they were thinking of marrying her off, she told them about u, and they said no, but instead of forbidding her, they sat her down, and explained why they've come to their thoughts on u, and they explained that another guy would provide a better future for her, and that in time, she'll get over u, and she'll fall for her husband, because love isn't instant, it grows over time. Then she thinks and relizes this may be true, and she'll have her family support too, so when things get rough(they will in a marriage), she'll have a support system to guide her through. Which she wouldn't have(family), if she was with u. It's not easy for an Indian girl to go against the will of her family for love, because society will be against her, and a woman has to be especially strong to endure that...because it could last a while. Don't look at the four years as a waste. Think of all the things u've learned from her, and all the experiences u might not have had if it wasn't for her. Whatever u learned in this relationship can only help u in ur next one(if u let it). I know what ur saying now, but u must allow urself to heal first, allow urself as much time as u need. Then u can let some other girl know the wonderful guy u are, and shower her with all the love and affection that ur ex missed out on...and start a totally new life, with ur....(hopefully), wife. I don't know if u believe in prayer, but it also helps. Plus, hang out with friends, and get ur mind off of her for a couple of days...just have fun.

Answer 2

Dear Ajay, Don’t take me wrong buddy, but what is happening with the young generation of our country, yes we are living in the 21 century, yes we are modern but does modernization only means the freedom to wear mini skirts, have affairs in schools and colleges, have sex without being married, or have love marriages without even telling the parents? The first mistake you did was getting married without even asking your parents, its marriage dude not buying a car. Marriage is not just you two it involves whole families from both sides, in India it’s a marriage of the two families rather than just the couple. The second mistake you did was not disclosing this to your respective families and hoping that they wont even ask, and you were dumb enough to let it continue when she got engaged to this guy the same time you got married, that was the time you both should have put your cards on the table and let everyone know that you are married. That first guy refused the proposal that’s the reason she came back to you otherwise she would have married that guy and you wouldn’t have had any clue about it. Ok she apologized but you still you did not disclosed your marriage, which I feel she was not doing it as her elder sister was not married at that time and if she disclosed this marriage and decides to stick with it then her parents would have disowned her and when this news would have spread then no one in her community would have agreed to marry her elder sister, now when she is married and she might have seen the reaction and she also might have seen what she is missing (however irrelevant) if she remains married to you or might have broken down in front of her parents, and she has changed her mind and want a divorce now. Now when you have filed for a divorce then why delay it, better go there and get it over with and start your new life, its never late to start a new life, have a new beginning. Forgive and forget her and begin a new life by getting married with your parents approval, and I am sure she will be a good wife and you two will be happy together. And about that suicide, well that’s also not a bad idea you can commit suicide leave a note with her name on it, so that her parents can bribe the police and close the case while your parents are torchers your parents and they are left alone crying and suffering with no son for the rest of their lives.

Answer 3

I really fail to understand what you mean when you say that, "... now she is telling that she will not come to me leaving her parents ...". If she wants to marry someone else, then she will have to leave her parents anyway for her in-laws' family. So leaving her parents is not her consideration. I guess what you mean is that she doesn't love you any longer and maybe her parents have a role to play in her change of mind. When 4 years of loving and togetherness ends in such thoughtless separation at the instance of one of the partners, it is extremely disheartening indeed.
At such times the distressed partner is often tempted to do something unwise for which he/she has to pay a heavy price. There is a tendency to commit suicide or to take the life of the one who went back on his/her words or to cause any other type of harm to him/her. If such thoughts have crossed your mind, I would advise you to banish them straight away. You gain nothing from such acts.
Your agony is understandable. But if someone foolishly spurns your true love, you should not do something even more foolish at the spur of the moment for which you have to repent even more. Think rationally. There are lots of girls who are more deserving of your love. The one who ditched you probably did so because she or her parents found a more moneyed man. Ask yourself if you would have been really happy if you married her. A person who changes his/her object of love for material benefits is hardly the one to make an ideal soul mate. Immerse yourself in something which will drive all thoughts about the girl from your mind - art, music, social activities, anything else that you want. It would be difficult to forget her. But time is a great healer and all memories of your association with her will fade in time. And by that time you will have hopefully found your ideal soul mate.

Answer 4

well,its really sad to know this thing...but u should understand her situation and try to understand her feelings.i m not saying u r wrong or she is right.but sometimes situation occurs when u r not in position to achieve what u want to.

love is not just to marry and live together its about the feelings and the happiness of the partner to u.if u love her then better leave her to make her happy and try to show her that u too r OK.

as far feelings,with time everything will be over or time will heal the wounds.

good luck.

Answer 5

Well dear this is really a difficult situation, and first off all I would really ask u to calm down and don't take any impulsive action.

Well try to talk to her and find out that:

Why she is not ready to leave her parents for u?

Was her love for u just a mirage?

When u find these answer decide ur next course of action.

Answer 6

I am not going tell you any different than what other have said....its very simple for a boy to get out of relationship but for a girl is extremely difficult and even after that she wants to come out that means its serious....she might not tell you though..but from what i see now she will be in deep trouble if she leaves her parents....

Answer 7

Why bad thoughts? Recapitulate the days when you had friendship with her and find out your mistakes. Secondly she is free to marry a person of her choice. You cannot com pail her. Remove bad thoughts otherwise you yourself will involve in unwanted deeds which may spoil whole of your career. Be careful.

Answer 8

how old is she??
did she really love u??
was 'love' a convenience for her?? or a necessity??
if she isn't matured enough then she is bound to leave u..
sorry to say this.. but u have to move on..
sometimes u cant help it if the other person doesnt want to be in the relationship..
i feel u deserve a better person..

Answer 9

Sometimes if you truly love someone... you'll let them love someone else. It's horrible, i know i've been here before. But if what makes her happy is marrying this other man then let her go. If she loves you she will come back right where she left.

Answer 10

A new beginning! Not the end of the world! Time will take care of everything! Start afresh!